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Anaconda

Anaconda

1997
Suspense/Thriller, Adventure
1h 29m
Deep in the Brazilian Rainforest, a river barge makes its way up the Amazon. Aboard is a documentary film crew with a dream assignment: to track down the legendary Shirishama Indians-- the people of the Mist! But during a violent storm, the crew rescues a mysterious stranger, Paul Sarone (Voight), whose boat has stalled on the river. Sarone professes a vast knowledge of the Shirishama and volunteers to lead the filmmakers directly to the elusive tribe... (imdb)
Your probable score
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Anaconda

1997
Suspense/Thriller, Adventure
1h 29m
Your probable score
Avg Percentile 14.94% from 5921 total ratings

Ratings & Reviews

(5921)
Compact view
Compact view
Rated 16 Jul 2013
5
73rd
my second most popular review on criticker
Rated 26 Oct 2014
40
10th
I just read every review on this site because my first review (which I posted) was CMonster's verbatim. So I went through them all and didn't come across a single Sir Mix-A-Lot reference. My joy at this revelation quickly dissolved into recognition that actual joy stemming from the opportunity to drop this reference myself is life-reevaluatingly depressing. I no longer want none, hun. Ugh. As an aside: what is the "L" that Foobekah is referencing?
Rated 29 Sep 2020
59
49th
You ever think that in some sort of parallel universe there would be a "Columbia Pictures" theme park? Where there would be an "Anaconda: The Ride"? Like where a tape of Ice Cube rapping about snakes plays on a loop, while people wait in line to get on a ride, where a giant animatronic Jon Voight would jump out of the water and scare tourists with his ridiculous accent? Then there would be a souvenir photo-op spot next to a statue of an anaconda/J-Lo's ass...Like, I'd buy a ticket for that.
Rated 25 Sep 2010
22
4th
The giant snake represents a penis, and Jennifer Lopez represents a bad actress.
Rated 23 Jun 2015
23
12th
I don't even want to talk about the crazy casting (OWEN WILSON??), the absence of one of the principal players throughout the movie, the dumb animal sounds the snake makes, the amazing POV snake-swallowing-shot, the dumb "story" and the fact that I don't understand how J-Lo ever became A Thing. No, this is all about the career defining work Jon Voight does here. He simultaneously channels about 5 characters with different nationalities and/or mental problems and it is GLORIOUS(ly bad). Respect.
Rated 05 Jul 2015
17
3rd
These things, I choose to believe: that they had the snake sound like a scared piglet as a shout-out to "Razorback"; that someone told Jon Voight it was a remake of "Fitzcarraldo"; and that Jennifer Lopez survived because her acting is bad enough to repel reptiles. Yea, upon these articles of faith, I shall build my church.
Rated 27 Nov 2006
4
35th
This cast is so weird.
Rated 21 Nov 2008
15
0th
One of those movies that causes one to wonder about the decision-making process used by film producers when deciding what films to make. But then one realises there's no reason to presume the film didn't make money (it has sequels, after all). Which then causes one to wonder about the decision-making process used by filmgoers, when they're deciding what films to see.
Rated 03 Apr 2018
50
26th
Anaconda knows what it is, but what it is isn't remotely good. It's a deliberate throwback to old fashioned creature features like the ones that inspired Jaws, and its tongue is firmly planted in cheek ala Piranha, yet one can't help but wonder what a more skilled director than Llosa would have done with such admittedly bad material. The dialogue is terrible, and Llosa relies too heavily on jump scares, but Voight's hammy performance is a pure delight as he chews scenery with complete relish.
Rated 11 May 2015
0
1st
Overall the worst Muppets film hands down
Rated 20 Mar 2007
60
15th
Snake is BIIIIIIIG SNAKE.
Rated 08 Nov 2020
50
11th
I feel like there should be a different scale to rate 'Anaconda' on. Number of shots from the inside of a snake while Jon Voight is being eaten, for instance, or number of dopey snake puppets that look like Kermit the Frog. Speaking of Jon Voight, what accent was he attempting there? Paraguay by way of Brooklyn? Christopher Walken playing Che Guevara? Docking some points for the lack of an Ice Cube rap summarising the events of the film.
Rated 18 Jun 2007
60
14th
YOU MEAN THERE'S SNAKES OUT THERE THIS BIG?!
Rated 14 Aug 2007
50
23rd
Only watchable for mere pop-culture knowledgment.
Rated 20 Nov 2008
90
38th
John Voight is just plain nasty in this film and very good at it, which is fun to watch. The fact that I get to watch several actors I'm not fond of get eaten entertains me almost enough to forgive them the screaming snakes (which at least do look like anacondas!).
Rated 24 Mar 2011
20
7th
"Ders snakes out der dis big!!"-Ice Cube
Rated 12 Dec 2006
40
3rd
Stupid monster movie that is absurdly over the top and nonsensical.
Rated 05 May 2008
20
4th
The wink!
Rated 29 Jan 2007
30
11th
Really shitty, but if you think this is bad, you need to see the Nigerian remake called "The Python". The African version makes this film look like The Seven Samurai.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
37
3rd
J-Lo and Ice Cube, two people plus other stupid people star in a stupid movie about a stupid, gigantic, killer animatronic snake. Stupid.
Rated 25 Mar 2013
5
8th
ice cube sets snake on fire LOL!
Rated 14 Aug 2007
45
40th
Ridiculously over-the-top and campy. Bonus points for vomiting up a Jon Voigt on-screen.
Rated 07 Oct 2013
89
95th
sometimes when the visions become all consuming i light som candles ad watch this ad it makes me remember the better times and i cry.
Rated 19 Mar 2007
39
12th
Crazy snakes trying to eat everything!
Rated 25 May 2012
38
6th
Absolutely nails the schlock monster flick formula. Possibly horrifying for those that are actually scared of really fat snakes.
Rated 18 Apr 2008
49
2nd
TACKY. Some funny sequences e.g. with Jon Voight as the brass-balls skipper though.
Rated 29 Nov 2009
30
13th
From time to time, when I'm home, eating with the family, my brother will, as an exit-line, state that he is taking his wife home to "swing the Anaconda" at her. ... that is what this movie did to my life.
Rated 24 Feb 2007
22
13th
Nothing special about this movie by any means. People are fighting a snake in the woods. Completely forgettable movie that isn't worth any note at all.
Rated 15 Dec 2008
52
20th
Four drink minimum to enjoy this movie.
Rated 20 Mar 2007
48
17th
The snakes are about as convincing as the cast. Take that anyway you want.
Rated 31 Jan 2007
5
1st
A very, very bad Jaws rip-off.
Rated 16 May 2010
20
23rd
Friggin hilarious! I love snakes. HAHA I had to laugh even harder when I saw that the genre was also Horror
Rated 28 Nov 2006
20
12th
Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube running from a snake. How good do you think this is?
Rated 22 Sep 2010
35
10th
I kinda sorta almost want to like this movie, and I can't explain why because it's complete crap.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
12
4th
Can you imagine any film dumber than this? Even if you can, it's completely laughable on all levels, and unfortunately unleashed a tide of "oversized predatory animal" films that all went straight to video.
Rated 21 Oct 2009
36
21st
It wants so desperately to be Jurassic Park, or Jaws, but instead it ends up being more like Jaws 4. That being said, it's not totally without merit..... Well, it may be without merit, but it's not without a bit of entertainment thrown in with the awful CGI. In the ignoble history of movies about giant animals killing people one by one, this is probably above average.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
25
5th
Argh! This movie never gives you a chance to catch your breath once the idiocy starts. Bad cast + lame animatronics + dumb plot = Anaconda. Total crap!
Rated 29 Nov 2008
70
86th
The best snake film ever made. I watched the second film first, and it sucked so much. So I got this one, and it was quite good. Jon Voight's acting was quite good, his character was supposed to be comedic. Dunno why people said he sucked. The snakes looked realistic 'cos they were animatronic. The death scenes were quite good. Please avoid the second film.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
70
61st
Decent enough giant snake flick.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
85
68th
Anacdona is an EXCELLENT B-movie. It's cheesy, fun, and has a fantastic performance from Jon Voight. His death scene will be with me until the day I die. *wink*
Rated 14 Aug 2007
83
40th
Cheap, brainless fun.
Rated 06 Apr 2019
5
4th
Probably one of the worst movies of the 90's.
Rated 25 Jul 2022
37
7th
Voight's accent lands between Brando and Wiseau and that's the best part of the movie. We've seen sharks, piranha, snakes, gators, what I wanna know is where's the monster hippo movie? It feels like there's some Big Hippo lobby out there maintaining Okja PR while other deadly animals are further vilified by being put in planes and tornadoes and shit.
Rated 22 Aug 2023
42
16th
One of the most iconic and intriguing posters of all time. Of course the movie couldn’t match but I didn’t hate it. Very funny to like recreate burden of dreams as 90’s pulp creature horror
Rated 09 Oct 2007
5
3rd
Boring! I never had patience to finish to see.
Rated 08 Mar 2007
75
40th
AN action flick with a rookie cast that would earn a decent amount of respect later, makes for a decent movie in hindsight. It is definately fun to watch.
Rated 31 Mar 2009
46
4th
very funny thriller
Rated 27 Jan 2010
4
29th
The best actor was the snake, which was animated.
Rated 10 Jul 2011
60
35th
An entertaining and serviceable killer snake film. It creates some nice tension, and has a level of quality to it that shows it is far from the terrible film that I heard it made out to be. Jon Voight's ridiculous performance is joyfully silly too.
Rated 19 Jan 2013
43
19th
If only the CGI had held up better, and Jennifer Lopez wasn't in it, and it was actually good.
Rated 25 Oct 2007
58
0th
just for Lopez
Rated 06 Sep 2010
30
5th
Dear Hollywood, thanks.
Rated 19 Aug 2009
48
10th
Pretty bad, but I did have some good times mocking it with some friends.
Rated 03 Dec 2011
84
70th
Not many liked this movie, but as a popcorn monster movie, who would love a giant snake hunting hot women and rap stars. Other than that your not going to find and Oscar performances here.
Rated 27 Apr 2007
25
1st
The only reason this is even worth scoring is because it ranks as one of the worst all time mvoies
Rated 14 Aug 2007
45
17th
I don't know what they were thinking when celebrities were cast instead of actors (ie. Ice Cube, Lopez). This movie is confusingly bad in acting, I was rooting for the snake the entire movie.
Rated 20 Nov 2009
30
0th
o que é isso
Rated 12 Dec 2006
60
15th
oh god
Rated 17 Aug 2010
30
4th
The premise is intriguing but the movie is lame and cheesy. Bad special effects--better to watch one of those lame SyFy movies. Skip this.
Rated 25 Sep 2010
21
6th
Eric Stoltz has the easiest role ever in film history.
Rated 02 Apr 2007
10
0th
I hated this movie with a passion
Rated 17 Aug 2008
40
25th
I can't rate this too low since I watched it repeatedly on VHS when I was a kid - still it's one of the worst creature features out there.
Rated 29 Mar 2008
21
20th
Checklist of suckitude: Ice Cube... check alright, we don;t need any more info suck ahoy!
Rated 14 Apr 2010
58
4th
Just about killed myself laughing when the "snake" spit the monkey out.
Rated 17 Oct 2007
35
5th
The snake's death scene was an oscar worthy one. Dramatically falling to her doom ( while _shrieking_, mind you) into the murky waters below. Classic.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
23
2nd
Oh no an unrealistically large animal is attacking us! This is not original nor interesting. I hate these kinds of films.
Rated 14 Feb 2018
30
4th
I was really high and we were eating Vietnamese Food or something on a couch that was also a bed so you had to be careful so I paid more attention to that than to the movie and it was the German dub as well which was pretty bad so all I know is I didn't know what was going on and it was really boring.
Rated 25 Sep 2007
20
2nd
Truly one of the more ridiculous offerings you're ever likely to see.
Rated 07 Aug 2007
70
37th
One of the best snake movies ever made.
Rated 08 Jan 2018
38
12th
Jon Voight proves a delightfully crazed addition to the film. Other then that Anaconda doesn't have much going for it besides the awesome snake effects.
Rated 07 Sep 2011
4
3rd
Shockingly bad. You'll notice that the scene where they pull the boat away from the crash is actually the scene where the boat crashes, but played in reverse (evidenced by the waterfall going up). The little wink from Voight's character when he is regurgitated is beyond lame. Although I must admit I did enjoy it, just for all the wrong reasons.
Rated 31 Oct 2014
40
6th
Has a goofy charm, mainly because of the cliche/stereotype overload.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
6
2nd
If bad movies were people, they would watch this film and laugh at it for being bad and not be hypocrites.
Rated 01 Sep 2007
49
11th
When the shark excuse becomes too old they change the animal but not the script
Rated 16 Aug 2008
40
19th
x0
Rated 23 Jan 2009
5
6th
dumb
Rated 14 Aug 2007
20
13th
Voight is fun, everything else sucks to high heaven
Rated 12 Jun 2013
45
15th
I'm disappointed that Criticker thought I'd give this movie a 0/100. You can definitely do a lot worse as horror movies go. At least this movie tries to write some characters with personalities. At least it has some plot development, and isn't just a group of people getting killed one by one by a snake. But it's all fun and games until the 1997 CGI snake shows up.
Rated 09 Aug 2017
40
16th
If seen as a B-movie, it's fun at times... and that's all it is besides considerably stupid.
Rated 31 Jul 2009
12
10th
A bad film that only made me wish that a giant snake (or any reptile to be honest) would really eat Jennifer Lopez so she would never come back again, and spare us from her awful films and music.
Rated 16 Mar 2007
50
23rd
JLO ICE CUBE!! NWS Niggas wit snakes!
Rated 22 Jul 2013
60
13th
Not nearly as terrible as the ratings indicate. John Voight is menacing as the villian. A bit more flesh shown by J Lo would have been appreciated.
Rated 24 Apr 2007
1
4th
Jennifer Lopez is pretty hot in this movie.
Rated 16 Nov 2007
0
5th
garbage.
Rated 05 Nov 2011
15
2nd
I did not enjoy this. Not at all.
Rated 31 Aug 2010
20
44th
Elementary (primitive, primeval) creature feature. The creature itself, sometimes a model, sometimes a lightning-fast computer cartoon, has the unnerving ability to wrap up one victim in its forty-foot length while snarling and snapping at other prospects with its unoccupied mouth. It also displays a regurgitative function, saved up for the finale, that produces the major gross-out moment.
Rated 10 Jan 2010
14
7th
Hahaha, Jon Voight as a Hispanic guy holy shit.
Rated 26 Feb 2011
12
3rd
cheap effects
Rated 24 Jun 2009
3
31st
Fun trash.
Rated 08 Jan 2010
10
0th
It has J Lo and that should have been the only bad part about it, but they thought it wasn't enough, so they wrote a very bad story to go along. What's up with our obsession for making animals look like deliberate human killers?
Rated 25 Jan 2015
10
5th
So bad it's boring.
Rated 10 Oct 2009
57
3rd
Never have to see this movie again, it was ok to watch
Rated 11 Nov 2008
10
4th
The movie that bites worse than an anaconda.
Rated 24 Feb 2008
48
21st
This movie certainly isn't a good one and still... This brings back some sort of nostalgia and every time it's on tv, I can't help but watch. It's a classic and you should definitely watch it at least once.
Rated 27 Feb 2007
25
4th
Pure crap!
Rated 10 Nov 2007
59
19th
F-grade B-grade.
Rated 20 Dec 2009
1
11th
big ass snake
Rated 03 Feb 2011
2
0th
lmao!!! worst movie of all time
Rated 18 Feb 2011
50
7th
Laughably bad.
Rated 31 Aug 2013
50
47th
The snakes look good, you can tell who each character is, the rainforest is wonderfully shot, and Jon Voight alone makes the trip worthwhile. It's just never really all that scary or even thrilling. It has a few moments, but works much the same as Alien: There is a thing out there that will eventually kill everyone, and you're just here along for the ride.

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