A film about ants who eat people alive. Fair enough. But why is it that the cover art for such movies tend to feature young, voluptuous women being eaten alive? What does this say about us? Is it meant to be titillating? I fear that it is… and the idea that more people will buy this film because it’s a hot chick rather than an ugly man suffering an agonizing bloody death, is far more terrifying than fictional killer ants.

A group of wizards-to-be spend half their time in the “normal” world, and half their time in the magical alternate world of Halloweentown, where they visit a school for witches and experience adventures like that of “Kalabar’s Revenge”. Isn’t it enough that Disney so blatantly rips off Harry Potter? No, they must also conjure up the most unoriginal title imaginable for their saga: Halloweentown. Seriously, could that be more leaden or generic? Has Disney absolutely no shame? Make sure to stick around for Halloweentown III: Halloweentown High!

Hug tight to the handsome priest, young Mickey Rooney. He will comfort you… Look not away from his smoldering gaze! He is one of the Men of Boys Town.