On Friday the 13th, the Criticker Blog would like to pose a simple question.

Are you ready to be terrified out of your EVER LOVING MIND?! We’re talking: shaken to the core. Blood mixed in vomit. Pissed stained jeans. Whimpering for mommy. But mommy isn’t going to help you, boy. Mommy IS DEAD!

If you want to be scared like that, there are a lot of great sanity-threateningly-frightening movies you can watch tonight. But the new remake of Friday the 13th isn’t one of them. I mean, check out the trailer:

That’s not to say it won’t be entertaining! Honestly, it kind of looks fun… who wouldn’t want to see this group of douche bags get butchered? Particularly this guy.

But scary? Come one … Coraline looks more frightening than this. Seriously!

Are all remakes of classic horror movies doomed to fail?