Well, I had been looking forward to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

Some random thoughts I had while watching this:

• Could Sienna Miller possibly look any more ridiculous as the Baroness?
• The Eiffel Tower?! YOU VILLAINS! You dastardly monsters!
• Is it really a good idea to trumpet this as “from the creators of The Mummy“?
• “They’re the best operatives in the world. When all else fails, we don’t”. Not only did a screenwriter get paid to produce this structurally incoherent English, but it was actually selected as one of the quotes to put in the trailer. Not a good sign.
• Whoa whoa whoa, is that Marlon Wayans?!!
• That last, slowed down bit where they’re hurdling over missiles? Poor.

And yes, that was Marlon Wayans. Which means that due to a blood oath I took years ago, I can not watch this film. Oh well.