Amazingly, the new Twilight film isn’t the worst movie released on DVD this week! It’s not even the worst vampire movie this week. That dishonor goes to the “comedy” which tries to parody the Twilight films. Honestly — how is it possible to fail at making fun of Twilight? If you want the answer to that burning question, check out Vampires Suck — with a horrendous average tier of 1.45.

Knight and Day – Average Tier 4.23
A wholesome, Midwestern woman accidentally gets involved with an international super spy and is forced to flee the country with him while he protects a dangerous new piece of technology. Knight and Day @ Amazon

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – Average Tier 3.49
As a string of mysterious killings grips Seattle, Bella, whose high school graduation is fast approaching, is forced to choose between her love for vampire Edward and her friendship with werewolf Jacob. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse @ Amazon

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – Average Tier 3.65
Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage) is a master sorcerer in modern-day Manhattan trying to defend the city from his arch-nemesis, Maxim Horvath (Alfred Molina). Balthazar can’t do it alone, so he recruits Dave Stutler (Jay Baruchel), a seemingly average guy who demonstrates hidden potential, as his reluctant protege. The sorcerer gives his unwilling accomplice a crash course in the art and science of magic, and together, these unlikely partners work to stop the forces of darkness. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice @ Amazon

Vampires Suck – Average Tier 1.45
From the creators of Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans comes a spoof of pop culture and teenage vampire movies starring Jenn Proske as Becca, a high schooler who must choose between two hunky boys who both have killer smiles. While surrounded by vampires, werewolves (wereChihuahuas, anyone?) and gossipy teens with their own romantic dilemmas, the neurotic Becca also copes with her overprotective father and the school’s impending prom. Vampires Suck @ Amazon

Going the Distance – Average Tier 5.21
A look at the trials and tribulations of a long-distance relationship. Going the Distance @ Amazon