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Archive for the 'Awards' Category

2011′s Ten Worst Movies

Here we are, the absolutely worst films of 2011, as rated by you. The Smurfs and Justin Bieber don’t make the list… but Gary Oldman and Nicolas Cage do. Our condolences go out to anyone who’s had the misfortune of seeing one of these 10 stinkers.

10. Apollo 18 – 2.75 Average Tier

“Totally Boring. You’re just sittin’ there, waitin for some suspense or shocking moments, but nothing comes around. And then, behind all those boring scenes, they are full of fails. Can someone tell how did they get the footage to earth, when they never went back to the moon?” – Fincky

9. Dream House – 2.67 Average Tier

“An absolute atrocity of M. Night Shyamalan-esque plot devices and empty, meaningless narrative methods. The stacked cast of Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts, and Rachel Weisz are completely wasted and led to give one-sided, static emotional performances reminiscent of what you might see in a cheesy, soap-opera mystery. The movie twists and twists until all of its potential complexities and themes are unwoven into a showing of simple, antiquated, and predictable suspense-less fluff.” – HiResDes

8. Something Borrowed – 2.62 Average Tier

“Holy shit, please kill me now. Not only are almost all the characters unlikable, but they are just terrible people. Even the one likable character who I will call Jim Halpert because that is the role he plays in everything (type cast much) was a terrible person. On second thought, don’t kill me, I’m already on it.” – CMonster

7. Zookeeper – 2.54 Average Tier

“Two hot women falling for a fat guy just because he is nice. That’s more unbelievable then animals talking.” – dst7175

6. Beastly – 2.53 Average Tier

“Ugh, this movie is so painfully shitty that you’d have spent your time better if you scraped the muscles off your legs. And why is it that every time I see Alex Pettyfer in a movie my dislike for him grows just a little more?” – Baby Fish

5. Conan the Barbarian – 2.51 Average Tier

“at some point, enough people with more than enough money thought THIS was a good idea. and that bothers me about this world…” – guy piranha

4. Red Riding Hood – 2.4 Average Tier

“A Gothic fairytale created by a team of middle managers, this is nothing more that a checklist of features needed to sell tickets to the Twilight demographic. A nameless medieval European village full of beautiful all-American teens with flawless makeup (including the boys), the worst dance party since The Matrix Reloaded, buckets of teen angst, terrible acting, woeful CGI and an ending so bad it makes the previous 80 minutes of mediocrity seem like high art. Utterly soulless.” – misterlizard

3. Season of the Witch – 2.36 Average Tier

“So… how many movies does Nicholas Cage have to make before the IRS leaves him alone and he can finally go back to making decent movies instead of this crap…” – DaeSanye

2. The Roommate – 2.21 Average Tier

“Another film for philistines, The Roommate is an asinine rendition of Single White Female-level cliches of psycho friend “horror” whose banality and dopiness constitutes an assault on film culture that’s formed out of filmmakers like Christian E. Christiansen pandering to the lowest common denominator. Cinematic portrayals of psychopathy have rarely been so inane but never has stupidity and superficiality been so broadly held up as virtuous — not even by Cameron Crowe!” – tomelce

1. Abduction – 1.95 Average Tier

‘I walk around like everybody else but inside I just feel like I’m a stranger in my own life.’ Man, am I glad this dialog was improvised and no-one actually wrote this script. Am I right guys? … Guys?” – calharding

 


Criticker’s Best Films of 2011, #1 – #10

Without a doubt, there are some surprises in the list of the top ten movies of 2011. Documentaries, foreign dramas, cancer, sex addicts all make the cut… but what was the number one film of the year?

Our criteria in compiling the list was that the film has to be on the list of Oscar-eligible films for 2011, and also have received at least 50 rankings at Criticker.

Check out the first part of our list!

10. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy – 7.38 Average Tier

“In an era when so-called “British comedy(?)” and CGI schlockfests are popular, it is remarkably refreshing to see such an intelligent espionage film do so well. The phenomenal performances (Oldman turns in what could possibly be his best straight acting role to date) and the gripping, suspenseful story are undoubtedly the films strong points, as well as how beautiful it looks, but there is quite a lot to take in at a fast rate and it can be difficult to keep up at times. One of this years best.” – RapeyVessey

9. 50/50 – 7.49 Average Tier

“I was legitimately surprised at how good this was. It wasn’t a black comedy or a dramedy, but something that felt altogether different. Like a comedy and a drama woven together but the strands don’t really touch, leaving the other to do its thing, which each does really well. I can’t picture a cancer movie being able to do it better. JGL is great. Kendrick was pretty good. The real surprise was Seth Rogen. To be honest, if I have cancer, I want Rogen’s character to be my friend.” – CMonster

8. Shame – 7.5 Average Tier

“A strong and assured work. It’s tempting to call it an instant classic, Fassbender’s character likely to etch itself into your memory for a long time.” – KasperL

7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – 7.59 Average Tier

“Fincher hasn’t made something this unsettling since Seven. It’s awesome. Also, say what you will about the rest of the movie, but that opening credits sequence is a fucking trip.” – nateb

6. Hugo – 7.65 Average Tier

“It may be a detour for Scorsese, but it’s also, surprisingly, the most autobiographical film he’s ever made, and one of his most heartfelt as a result. Its moderate flaws (primarily structural) are easy to forgive because it’s never less than charming or entertaining, and for any film geek out there, very touching as well. And the film’s evocation of 1930s Paris is absolutely fantastic.” – Criminal5

5. The Artist – 8.01 Average Tier

“Forget the fact that this is a silent film done in black and white. As risky as that is, balancing the tone of a film that’s a throwback to the 1920′s era of silent film while still feeling fresh and modern is what’s really impressive. As most modern film and television, ‘The Artist’ is self-aware, but it never crosses into a cliche or pretentious territory. It always feels natural within the story. Watching it with a crowd is a must to complete the feeling of a by-gone era. Extremely well done.” – canadianor

4. Drive – 8.02 Average Tier

“Akin to Soderberg’s The Limey, Drive is more of a visceral reflection, than the heist-movie the trailer and plot suggest, but that said, it offers both suspenseful chases and some of the most graphic violence this side of Irréversible. All-in-all: a pulp-story, that with few modifications could have been a random Jason Statham actioner, is given a gritty art-house overhaul by the constantly evolving talent of Nicolas Winding Refn and the brilliant cast.” – FrederikA

3. Take Shelter – 8.12 Average Tier

“Great and engaging from start to finish. It left me thinking about the film for a few days after as it has a particular mood and atmosphere that’s not quite horror, but disturbing never the less.” – MrGreedy

2. Senna – 8.31 Average Tier

“It really is astounding how like a film Senna’s life was – so of course, this is a gripping documentary. However, it’s also incredibly moving – I cried at the ending – and brilliantly edited.” – MinuteMaker

1. A Separation – 8.82 Average Tier

“One might teeter on the feeling that there’s just too much going on in Farhadi’s coming-of-age/class warfare/kitchen sink drama, but the director handles it all so deftly and with such respect for his characters that the film ends up enriched by its various dramas instead of bogged down in them.” – graveyardtan

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Criticker’s Best Films of 2011, #11 – #20

1 Dollar DVDs

Here’s the first half of our annual list of the most highly ranked films at Criticker, for 2011. For this list, we only consider the 265 movies which are eligible for the 2011 Oscars, and which have been ranked at least 50 times at Criticker. Come back tomorrow for the top ten of the year. Anything in #20 to 11 surprise you?

20. Submarine – 7.03 Average Tier

“If Oliver Stone moved to Wales and remade Rushmore, he might make something like Submarine. I detest quirk for quirk’s sake, but every surreal embellishment in Submarine exists for a reason, as it tackles the messy sides of being a 15-year-old boy. Fantastic!” – KeanuGrieves

19. Certified Copy – 7.07 Average Tier

“CC first presents the idea that it is not the object itself but the observer’s perception of it which produces meaning (duh), then cunningly embodies that idea (audience’s interpretations of the actors’ relationship swing wildly from scene to scene), and then finally — in James — exposes the cold, rational solipsism at the heart of that idea, taken to its extreme. An unbelievably slippery film, with camerawork that at once both subtly and strikingly assists the exploration of its themes.” – theficionado

18. Moneyball – 7.07 Average Tier

“Intelligent, well-crafted, and deeply affecting, with Brad Pitt giving us one of the best performances of the year (and Hill giving comic relief as the worthy sidekick). Truly, the best films about sports are those that don’t focus too much on the game but on the people behind it. Wisely sidestepping sentimentality, Miller gives us a highly entertaining baseball film that is also about daring to revolutionize and challenge the norms.” – RaymundLi

17. Midnight in Paris – 7.11 Average Tier

“This movie is pure magic. It’s engrossing and captivating in such a beautiful Woody Allen type of way. Some great performances and fantastic cinematography, too.” – guscuddy

16. Tyrannosaur – 7.14 Average Tier

“A great companion piece to Figgis’ “Leaving Las Vegas”, with on one hand a victim of alcohol and rage and one of oppression and physical abuse on the other, though unlike the aforementioned, although momentarily presented, their bond is marked by friendship rather than love. Despite their differences, compassion is shared mutually; Considdine approaches this unlikely bond with care and subtle aplomb.” – fredericg54

15. Warrior – 7.15 Average Tier

“This film is insanely predictable and very cheesy. And I loved every minute of it. The acting is great – Hardy is nearing the top of my personal favorites. The fighting scenes are probably the best ever and I was heavily emotionally invested in all of Brendan’s fights.” – Ross

14. We Need to Talk About Kevin – 7.22 Average Tier

“Dark and depressing as all hell. Visually rich while being stylistically unnerving. Swinton gives perhaps the best performance I’ve ever seen from her, with Ezra Miller going toe-to-toe with her in many scenes and doing a fine job as such a contemptuous little shit. Thematically it brings up a lot of interesting questions and doesn’t try and answer them, causing you to – as Eva does – piece through the memories and try to understand Kevin without really knowing for sure why he did what he did.” – bown

13. The Skin I Live In – 7.3 Average Tier

“Frankenstein according to Almodóvar? The Spanish excentric’s most intriguing work since ‘Hable con ella’ – and Banderas’ best part since… well, ever?” – Langelund

12. The Tree of Life – 7.36 Average Tier

“If modern filmmaking is the art of compromise, someone obviously forgot to tell Terrence Malick. Not satisfied with merely tackling love, war and similar hefty themes, Malick this time goes for life itself with an elliptically, associative and lyrically rather than causally told story about people and the ties between them. It’s not so much about the O’Brien family specifically as it’s about the idea of family and individual. “The Tree of Life” is equally ambitious and visually breathtaking.” – KMcNeil

11. The Muppets – 7.37 Average Tier

“Wow, no way, really, no goddam way I expected such an entertainment like this one, and it turns out that it completely delivers with an enormous package of in-jokes and gags. Best family movie of the year, no doubt of that.” – felipelham

Bacon Soda

The Worst Films of 2010

It will come as no surprise that romantic comedies don’t fare well in our look back at the worst movies of 2010, but the users of Criticker have spread out the hate to other genres as well. This year’s list includes sci-fi, action, kid’s films and weird quasi-religious quasi-zombie flicks. Keep in mind that all these films received lower rankings than The Last Airbender.. and that is saying something.

10) The Last SongAvg Tier 2.51

“And as she looked towards the sun shining through the window and said “hi, dad” I wanted to walk down to the projection room and tear the reel to pieces and burn the entire place down” – Bitch Alert
9) The Back-up PlanAvg Tier 2.46

“This movie is abysmal. Even if I’m willing to set aside the lack of chemistry, ignore the trite and unconsidered dialogue, and write off the ludicrously uneventful plot, the movie would still offend me with its rampant chauvinism. It seems the only way to happiness in Zoe’s world is through her man, which must culminate in marriage with children, and anyone who dares to circumvent these rules is insane or deviant. Shame on this movie for being a platform for such repugnant whitewashing.” – thaklos
8) The Bounty HunterAvg Tier 2.45

“What an awful awful movie. Seriously… awful! The script is lousy and completely predictable. The ”plot” is all over the place, the direction appalling. And the acting… complete and utter shit! I mean I always knew that J. Aniston and G. Butler aren’t the greatest actors in the world but after seeing this I am inclined to think they are the worst. Do not watch this!!!” – aney
7) When in RomeAvg Tier 2.36

“Frightfully unfunny romantic-comic fantasy. If nothing else, with creamy-dreamy cinematography by John Bailey, this serves as a test of whether or not the chiselled and clenched Bell can carry a movie by herself, albeit only a balsa-light one. Reckless would it be, off the results, to repeat the experiment taking away the helping hand of the casually confident Duhamel or adding a bobby pin of extra weight.” – pompousass
6) The Spy Next DoorAvg Tier 2.35

“The makers of The Spy Next Door should give 50 percent of their profits to James Cameron for ripping off “True Lies.” Let’s see, what’s 50 percent of nothing?” – MovieMan
5) LegionAvg Tier 2.21

“Similar to Dusk Till Dawn – just with all the campiness replaced with awfulness.” – KMcNeil
4) Sex and the City 2Avg Tier 2.16

“One of the worst films in forever. Its a baffling long film about absolutely nothing. Incredibly boring, fails in every area a film can.” – OMGFridge
3) Jonah HexAvg Tier 2.12

“This horrible piece of shit makes zero sense and all of it is too dark to see what’s going on. The only time you can see is when they’re showcasing some truly wretched CGI. Megan Fox is terrible, bringing nothing to the movie, and Brolin slurs every line through some horrible prosthetics. 10 points for Malkovich’s facial hair.” – TheDenizen
2) SkylineAvg Tier 1.82

“If you were on the effects team, raise your hand. OK everybody else, you are banished from Hollywood. That includes you, director of photography, a few too many cityscapes. And if your camera can’t handle low light, don’t shoot in it. That includes you, script-writers, way to make your characters reliably choose the dumbest course of action. And what was that tacked on “ending”? That includes you, studio execs, because your verdict on greenlighting this was the drug test, you failed.” – HunterKing
1) Vampires SuckAvg Tier 1.50

“All I needed to see was 1) the awful trailer and 2) the names Seltzer and Friedberg to know that this is a piece of shit. Why are these two morons allowed to make movies? Why do people pay t o see them? And worst of all, why do people even find them funny? I completely blame their movies for the downfall of America. I hope they both die long, disturbing and excruciatingly painful deaths….and hopefully soon, before they crap out some more garbage to sully my movie screens.” – mlpgaffney


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The Top 20 Movies of 2010: #1 – 10

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: the top 10 films of 2010, as ranked by you — the users of Criticker. It’s a great, highly varied list. Two animated films get in, a documentary, a western, and a mind-twisting psychological horror film set in the world of ballet (I’ll let you guess which that is).

Did your favorites all make the cut? Please leave a comment letting us know your Top 10 of 2010!

Best Films of 2010: #11 – 20

10) Scott Pilgrim vs. the WorldAvg Tier 7.52

“Not just canny commentary on how this generation’s experiences are inextricably mediated through the prism of pop culture; it captures an attendant myopia, too. Any coincidence the film parallels Scott’s fundamental narcissism w/ the endless parade of exclusionary inside jokes? Or that Scott (and by extension the audience) finds it impossible to separate his culture-saturated inner world from the world at large? It’s all exhilaratingly, uninhibitedly hyperreal: Baudrillard would have a field day” – theficionado
9) The Social NetworkAvg Tier 7.76

“You might get wrapped up in the fact that Sorkin writes more for story-telling than 100% factual accuracy but if you do then you’ll miss out on a superb film. More than anything The Social Network captures how ill-equipped every involved was the the explosion of Facebook. The entire cast is superb, the soundtrack is terrifyingly good and Fincher masterfully directs a film about nerds suing one another into a emotionally gripping and tension filled movie. Incredible.” – doctor7
8) True GritAvg Tier 7.77

“This movie carries the veneer of light adventure, one which it does deliver upon, but that isn’t what the movie’s really about. This one is about the subtleties and what the characters don’t say – it is a Western after all.” – Bmunise
7) The King’s SpeechAvg Tier 7.89

“A based-on-a-true-story Weinstein-Produced Historical Piece about a protagonist who, when inevitably faced with crisis brought about by a period of immense historical change, is forced to overcome personal adversity against everyone else’s expectations, and, ultimately, learn to believe in himself. In other words, most definitely a Shoo-In for a Best Picture Nomination, for sure.” – CosmicMonkey
6) 127 HoursAvg Tier 7.92

“This film is an experience as much as a film can be an experience rather than a detached series of scenes. It succeeds putting you in the shoes of Aron, a man with a zest for life and solo adventure. It took me back to a time when I wasn’t too busy to spend all my time biking and hiking. Some parts of this movie (including the part everyone knows about by now) are very difficult to watch unless you have a stomach of steel, but they are all very necessary to complete experience.” – somnivore
5) The IllusionistAvg Tier 7.96

“Seen in twice in the last 5 days, fearing my local cinema would pull it out to pave way for some Hollywood hogwash. It’s sad to witness this tale of friendship come to an end. Luckily, life is composed of these bittersweet moments, meaning another one is right behind the corner. Chomet’s attention to detail and comedic tone manifest themselves throughout. Recommended and pay close attention during the film, you might miss its nod to ‘The Old Lady and the Pigeons’.” – frederic_g54
4) Exit Through the Gift ShopAvg Tier 8.00

“A fascinating documentary about an ongoing cultural phenomenon. Manages to be thought-provoking and hilarious at the same time. I can’t say I’d be willing to deface another man’s property in the name of art; nonetheless, I would be very slow to persecute any of these undercover artists for doing their best to make everyone’s life a little less normal in a day and age where mindless conformism seems the norm. Best goddamn movie of 2010 so far” – Stain
3) InceptionAvg Tier 8.31

“Inception is not a lot of things. It’s not a psychological examination into the subconscious nor is it a complex character study. So don’t expect it to be one. Instead, the film aspires to be a mindbending adventure heist film set in the realms of dreams and in this regard, the film is flawless. With jawdropping and visceral sequences, it not only engages the intellect but also the emotions as it deals with guilt and loss and being haunted by your past. The best of the year so far.” – RaymundLi
2) Toy Story 3Avg Tier 8.32

“Pixar is the only American animation studio that can take some of our most iconic characters, have them swim in existentialism, get tortured by a villain who refuses redemption, and send them to a literal hell and back – but do it with such undeniable tact, grace and aplomb nobody even bats an eye. Actually, it might make the ending that much more stirring. It’s a good thing there are credits videos for those… um, other people, clearly… who teared up.” – jacobb1313
1) Black SwanAvg Tier 8.43

“Obsession is Aronofsky’s forte: taking the subtle neuroses destroying a person and holding them in the spotlight for the viewer to be shaken to their very core by. It is clear from the first scene where the film is going, but it’s HOW Aronofsky and Portman reach it that is so remarkable. The surreal metamorphosis of Nina is one of the most mesmerizing character developments I’ve ever seen. An emotional crescendo of how brutal and deranged the life of a dancer can be – it’s all in the details.” – alecec24


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The Top 20 Movies of 2010: Part One – #11-20

2011 is nearly upon us, which means it’s time to take a look back at the year that was. As we did last year, we’ve split the Top 20 of 2010 into two posts — check back tomorrow for the top 10.

In compiling this list, we considered the 248 films which are eligible for the 2010 Oscars.

20) Rabbit HoleAvg Tier 6.75

“This is the type of material that screams for the Academy’s attention. Somehow, however, Mitchell sidesteps cliche and brings us a measured account of how people react to and deal with tragedy. Both Kidman and Eckhart deserve Oscar-buzz. It could be pitched as ‘In the Bedroom’ meets ‘Rachel Getting Married’ which sounds explosive and/or drab but rather it’s in fact dialed down and completely engaging.” – KasperL
19) Never Let Me GoAvg Tier 6.78

“Beautifully directed, phenomenally well-acted love story set in an alternate past. This is a subversion on the typical Hollywood fare and actually invites audience interpretation and reflection. Rather than belittling the characters for their atypical response to their “purpose”, I condemned a world that would marginalise and trample on the underclass so carelessly, at once reminded of the brevity and preciousness of life. Remarkably restrained and poetic in its elegance” – anchovies
18) The Girl with the Dragon TattooAvg Tier 6.81

“Some films take you flying, but this film drags you in. The characters, particularly Rapace’s damaged Lisbeth, are rivetting. Her modern story is deftly juxtaposed with an old investigation taken on by Nyqvist’s Blomkvist. This mystery feels remarkably present, and the films consistently intriguing turns left me riveted to its luxuriously paced unraveling. I would have expected the disparate pieces of this film to feel incongruous, but they come together with a delightful elegance.” – thaklos
17) LebanonAvg Tier 6.99

“This is what cinema is for. For an hour and a half, I was in that tank, I was in that war.” – soarom
16) Shutter IslandAvg Tier 7.02

“Shutter Island is a deep and complex picture. It is more than what is tossed to us. It is an examination of a man, his sanity, and the avocation of the populace. The film is too predictable. You know it, I know it, but I believe it is obvious for a reason. Scorsese made a film that is purely psychological; there is NO twist. What we the viewer are left with is an ending that is meant to be explored to the point of being able to find the answer only in between the lines, and in the shades of grey” – Farzan
15) How to Train Your DragonAvg Tier 7.18

“A definite feel good movie, I don’t really know why. I was just really happy when I left the theater. The dragons are all pretty cute, which coincides well with the story. The animation is really great and the voice acting is very good as well (finally Gerard Butler gets to do a movie without faking an American accent). It’s great to see Dreamworks bring the goods so Pixar doesn’t just dominate animation every year. Extra-kudos for taking a slight risk at the end. Recommended to all.” – SirStuckey
14) Let Me InAvg Tier 7.23

“For one reason or another, remakes of superb films often have about the competence of Ke$ha covering the Rolling Stones. Fortunately, Let Me In exceeds in predecessor in almost all respects. Grittier, more atmospheric, and better-filmed, Let Me In improves upon the structure and storyboarding of Let the Right One In while still redoubling the stylistic characteristics. Backed by a dark, menacing score, the suspenseful moments of Let Me In bring intensity where the original lacked. Superb.” – NorthSider
13) The FighterAvg Tier 7.32

“The boxing takes a backseat to dysfunctional family drama, and David O’Russell handles it perfectly. “The Fighter” packs an emotional punch to gut, brims with humor, and shakes of sadness. Wahlberg is perfectly overshadowed by his fierce co-stars, particularly Bale and Melissa Leo delivering career-defining roles. You won’t find a larger grab-bag of talent and power this season.” – MJVmovieMan
12) Four LionsAvg Tier 7.39

“A comedy about British Muslim extremism? There’s only one person who could pull it off: Chris Morris. His secret? Research. You cannot make a film like this – carefully negotiating a minefield of potential outrage while cracking jokes – without having learnt a lot on the subject and the people. The final act is the sobering conclusion to his research, the demystification of the mindset and motivation of people who have radicalised, how we react to them and Muslims at large. Also a crow explodes.” – DaWolfey
11) Winter’s BoneAvg Tier 7.42

“So raw and hard-edged, but surprisingly subdued all the same. It never feels overcooked or unbelievable, and the matter-of-factness with which the material is dealt gives it a slow-burn quality that makes it that much more intense and powerful. Jennifer Lawrence and John Hawkes are fantastic.” – Criminal5




Cannes Wraps Up – Uncle Boonmee Rules

Surprising most everyone, Cannes’ Palme d’Or went to Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives by Thai director Apichatpong Weerasethakul. A quiet, spiritual reflection on the life of a dying man, Uncle Boonmee’s innovative story-telling and use of fantasy elements impressed Tim Burton, who was the festival’s top judge. Here’s the trailer, which … well, I don’t know. It’s pretty?

I suppose artful meditations on death are allowed to be boring. Anyway, Thailand can use the good news right now.

Other awards:
Grand Prix (Runner-Up): Of Gods and Men (France)
Best Actress: Juliette Binoche for Certified Copy
Best Actor: Javier Bardem for Biutiful, and Elio Germano for La Nostra Vita
Best Director: Mathieu Amalric for On Tour
Screenplay: Poetry (South Korea)