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Archive for the 'Bizarre' Category

Thoughts on Some New Films at Criticker …

The Hive (2008)

A film about ants who eat people alive. Fair enough. But why is it that the cover art for such movies tend to feature young, voluptuous women being eaten alive? What does this say about us? Is it meant to be titillating? I fear that it is… and the idea that more people will buy this film because it’s a hot chick rather than an ugly man suffering an agonizing bloody death, is far more terrifying than fictional killer ants.

A group of wizards-to-be spend half their time in the “normal” world, and half their time in the magical alternate world of Halloweentown, where they visit a school for witches and experience adventures like that of “Kalabar’s Revenge”. Isn’t it enough that Disney so blatantly rips off Harry Potter? No, they must also conjure up the most unoriginal title imaginable for their saga: Halloweentown. Seriously, could that be more leaden or generic? Has Disney absolutely no shame? Make sure to stick around for Halloweentown III: Halloweentown High!

Hug tight to the handsome priest, young Mickey Rooney. He will comfort you… Look not away from his smoldering gaze! He is one of the Men of Boys Town.


Before Morpheus Woke Up

Neo was a computer programmer before he was taken out of the Matrix, but Morpheus had a much crazier profession as a pink hat-wearing, kiddie song-singin’, slightly creepy cowboy. “The globe screams whenever I say the word more. Can this be real?”

“If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” Wise words, Morpheus. Man, after this, life spent escaping Sentinels aboard the Nebuchadnezzar must have been a freaking cakewalk.

[via: Classic Fun]

Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll

Birds barbie doll

Alfred Hitchcock would have been pleased. In case you haven’t ranked Birds yet - click on the link and do it now if you got a moment.

Will these plastic birds damage her delightful handbag or her carefully styled hair? We certainly hope not! Be sure to let Barbie into your home and pray that the birds don’t come in with her!

Link: Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll

[via: nerdapproved]

Uwe Boll takes on Indiana

Madman Uwe Boll (director of such esteemed classics as Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne) has not only decided to release his new film Postal on the same weekend as the new Indiana Jones flick, but seems relatively certain he’ll be topping the box office ahead of Spielberg:

“On the INDIANA JONES weekend - May 23 - we will go out and destroy INDIANA JONES in the box office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older then my grandpa and his time is up – as Michael Moore would say! It’s also a duel of two directors. Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with WAR OF THE WORLDS and also in parts of JAWS, E.T. and MUNICH. My cameo in POSTAL as a Nazi Theme Park Owner easily outdoes Ben Kingsley performance in SCHINDLER’S LIST!”

Source: Boll vs Indiana

Not the most profound first blog entry ever, but after redpatriot’s epic I thought you could do with some light relief. :D

Cinema41: Micro-Space Movie Theater

tiny movie theater

What a fun night out! I wonder if they’ve got a cinema license.

CINEMA41 is a pop-up movie theater with just one seat. This makes this private cinema definitely the smallest cinema in the world. CINEMA41 is situated in a decorated micro-space in a housing complex in downtown Amsterdam. Every week we offer a fresh programme with all sorts of movies to watch in a private and very intense atmosphere! We are open to everybody and at any time. Tickets are available for 3 euros. Popcorn and coke included!

Program of this Period:

Link: Cinema 41

[via: grow a brain]

Pop-Up Red Carpet

pop up red carpet

First, your kids will think it’s all fun & games… until they find out that you plan on making big bucks off them!

The minute your little starlet steps onto the red carpet, lights flash, music plays and the crowd cheers! Roomy playhouse is a glamorous dressing room for the budding star, featuring curtains that open and close, "movie star" graphics, and a back door (to make a grand entrance)! The doorway includes a hidden sensor which activates the runway lights and music when she steps onto the red carpet. As she continues on the carpet, recorded applause plays!

Link: Pop Up Red Carpet Runway

Discovery Channel Extreme DVD Collection Volume 2

Batman’s Private Movie Cave

batcave home theater

batcave-2

This is probably my favorite of all the movie themed home theaters so far. Should I go ahead and hire that company to start building a private viewing room for Criticker headquarters? And Criticker users could just swing by and hang with us. Ahh… one day…

Link: Elite HTS

[via: geekologie]

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