The Road has been one of the season’s most anticipated and critically acclaimed films. But not everyone is on board… especially a gentleman by the name of Fiore Mastracci, a critic recently featured by The Guardian in an article titled “Why I love the world’s worst film critic”.

And, indeed, Mastracci’s review truly is bad. He uses the most amateur similes imaginable (“excrement on celluloid”), makes fun of children (“McPhee is an irritating dirty faced boy”) and employs the most groaningly obvious, timeworn references (the Energizer bunny? Seriously?). It’s no help that his English is piss-poor.

But somehow, he’s “made it”, in at least some sense of the phrase. He has 204 god-awful reviews published on Rotten Tomatoes and is a member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association. It’s almost enough to make you weep… if you weren’t laughing so hard. Mastracci makes it a point to hate every movie which is critically lauded, and his reviews are laced with scatological references, racism and homophobia. The Guardian’s Stuart McGurk notes that “In a pièce de résistance, he gave Transamerica 0/10 solely for being about a transsexual.”

Still, scrolling through his reviews at least makes for a great way to waste some time… I especially love the outraged comments at the end of each. So keep at it, Mr. Mastracci! I get the sense that you feed on hate.

- Gift Guide 2009