Watch
Anaconda

Anaconda

1997
Suspense/Thriller
Adventure
1h 29m
Deep in the Brazilian Rainforest, a river barge makes its way up the Amazon. Aboard is a documentary film crew with a dream assignment: to track down the legendary Shirishama Indians-- the people of the Mist! But during a violent storm, the crew rescues a mysterious stranger, Paul Sarone (Voight), whose boat has stalled on the river. Sarone professes a vast knowledge of the Shirishama and volunteers to lead the filmmakers directly to the elusive tribe... (imdb)
Your probable score
?

Anaconda

1997
Suspense/Thriller
Adventure
1h 29m
Your probable score
Avg Percentile 14.94% from 5924 total ratings

Ratings & Reviews

(5924)
Compact view
Compact view
Rated 16 Jul 2013
5
73rd
my second most popular review on criticker
Rated 26 Oct 2014
40
10th
I just read every review on this site because my first review (which I posted) was CMonster's verbatim. So I went through them all and didn't come across a single Sir Mix-A-Lot reference. My joy at this revelation quickly dissolved into recognition that actual joy stemming from the opportunity to drop this reference myself is life-reevaluatingly depressing. I no longer want none, hun. Ugh. As an aside: what is the "L" that Foobekah is referencing?
Rated 29 Sep 2020
59
49th
You ever think that in some sort of parallel universe there would be a "Columbia Pictures" theme park? Where there would be an "Anaconda: The Ride"? Like where a tape of Ice Cube rapping about snakes plays on a loop, while people wait in line to get on a ride, where a giant animatronic Jon Voight would jump out of the water and scare tourists with his ridiculous accent? Then there would be a souvenir photo-op spot next to a statue of an anaconda/J-Lo's ass...Like, I'd buy a ticket for that.
Rated 25 Sep 2010
22
4th
The giant snake represents a penis, and Jennifer Lopez represents a bad actress.
Rated 23 Jun 2015
23
12th
I don't even want to talk about the crazy casting (OWEN WILSON??), the absence of one of the principal players throughout the movie, the dumb animal sounds the snake makes, the amazing POV snake-swallowing-shot, the dumb "story" and the fact that I don't understand how J-Lo ever became A Thing. No, this is all about the career defining work Jon Voight does here. He simultaneously channels about 5 characters with different nationalities and/or mental problems and it is GLORIOUS(ly bad). Respect.
Rated 03 Apr 2018
50
26th
Anaconda knows what it is, but what it is isn't remotely good. It's a deliberate throwback to old fashioned creature features like the ones that inspired Jaws, and its tongue is firmly planted in cheek ala Piranha, yet one can't help but wonder what a more skilled director than Llosa would have done with such admittedly bad material. The dialogue is terrible, and Llosa relies too heavily on jump scares, but Voight's hammy performance is a pure delight as he chews scenery with complete relish.
Rated 21 Nov 2008
15
0th
One of those movies that causes one to wonder about the decision-making process used by film producers when deciding what films to make. But then one realises there's no reason to presume the film didn't make money (it has sequels, after all). Which then causes one to wonder about the decision-making process used by filmgoers, when they're deciding what films to see.
Rated 27 Nov 2006
4
35th
This cast is so weird.
Rated 05 Jul 2015
17
3rd
These things, I choose to believe: that they had the snake sound like a scared piglet as a shout-out to "Razorback"; that someone told Jon Voight it was a remake of "Fitzcarraldo"; and that Jennifer Lopez survived because her acting is bad enough to repel reptiles. Yea, upon these articles of faith, I shall build my church.
Rated 08 Nov 2020
50
11th
I feel like there should be a different scale to rate 'Anaconda' on. Number of shots from the inside of a snake while Jon Voight is being eaten, for instance, or number of dopey snake puppets that look like Kermit the Frog. Speaking of Jon Voight, what accent was he attempting there? Paraguay by way of Brooklyn? Christopher Walken playing Che Guevara? Docking some points for the lack of an Ice Cube rap summarising the events of the film.
Rated 20 Mar 2007
60
15th
Snake is BIIIIIIIG SNAKE.
Rated 11 May 2015
0
1st
Overall the worst Muppets film hands down
Rated 24 Mar 2011
20
7th
"Ders snakes out der dis big!!"-Ice Cube
Rated 14 Aug 2007
50
23rd
Only watchable for mere pop-culture knowledgment.
Rated 20 Nov 2008
90
38th
John Voight is just plain nasty in this film and very good at it, which is fun to watch. The fact that I get to watch several actors I'm not fond of get eaten entertains me almost enough to forgive them the screaming snakes (which at least do look like anacondas!).
Rated 18 Jun 2007
60
14th
YOU MEAN THERE'S SNAKES OUT THERE THIS BIG?!
Rated 29 Jan 2007
30
11th
Really shitty, but if you think this is bad, you need to see the Nigerian remake called "The Python". The African version makes this film look like The Seven Samurai.
Rated 25 May 2012
38
6th
Absolutely nails the schlock monster flick formula. Possibly horrifying for those that are actually scared of really fat snakes.
Rated 12 Dec 2006
40
3rd
Stupid monster movie that is absurdly over the top and nonsensical.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
25
5th
Argh! This movie never gives you a chance to catch your breath once the idiocy starts. Bad cast + lame animatronics + dumb plot = Anaconda. Total crap!
Rated 14 Aug 2007
85
68th
Anacdona is an EXCELLENT B-movie. It's cheesy, fun, and has a fantastic performance from Jon Voight. His death scene will be with me until the day I die. *wink*
Rated 21 Oct 2009
36
21st
It wants so desperately to be Jurassic Park, or Jaws, but instead it ends up being more like Jaws 4. That being said, it's not totally without merit..... Well, it may be without merit, but it's not without a bit of entertainment thrown in with the awful CGI. In the ignoble history of movies about giant animals killing people one by one, this is probably above average.
Rated 19 Mar 2007
39
12th
Crazy snakes trying to eat everything!
Rated 07 Oct 2013
89
95th
sometimes when the visions become all consuming i light som candles ad watch this ad it makes me remember the better times and i cry.
Rated 20 Mar 2007
48
17th
The snakes are about as convincing as the cast. Take that anyway you want.
Rated 28 Nov 2006
20
12th
Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube running from a snake. How good do you think this is?
Rated 14 Aug 2007
83
40th
Cheap, brainless fun.
Rated 25 Mar 2013
5
8th
ice cube sets snake on fire LOL!
Rated 14 Aug 2007
37
3rd
J-Lo and Ice Cube, two people plus other stupid people star in a stupid movie about a stupid, gigantic, killer animatronic snake. Stupid.
Rated 22 Aug 2023
42
16th
One of the most iconic and intriguing posters of all time. Of course the movie couldn’t match but I didn’t hate it. Very funny to like recreate burden of dreams as 90’s pulp creature horror
Rated 14 Aug 2007
70
61st
Decent enough giant snake flick.
Rated 25 Jul 2022
37
7th
Voight's accent lands between Brando and Wiseau and that's the best part of the movie. We've seen sharks, piranha, snakes, gators, what I wanna know is where's the monster hippo movie? It feels like there's some Big Hippo lobby out there maintaining Okja PR while other deadly animals are further vilified by being put in planes and tornadoes and shit.
Rated 29 Nov 2009
30
13th
From time to time, when I'm home, eating with the family, my brother will, as an exit-line, state that he is taking his wife home to "swing the Anaconda" at her. ... that is what this movie did to my life.
Rated 24 Feb 2007
22
13th
Nothing special about this movie by any means. People are fighting a snake in the woods. Completely forgettable movie that isn't worth any note at all.
Rated 05 May 2008
20
4th
The wink!
Rated 22 Sep 2010
35
10th
I kinda sorta almost want to like this movie, and I can't explain why because it's complete crap.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
45
40th
Ridiculously over-the-top and campy. Bonus points for vomiting up a Jon Voigt on-screen.
Rated 18 Apr 2008
49
2nd
TACKY. Some funny sequences e.g. with Jon Voight as the brass-balls skipper though.
Rated 29 Nov 2008
70
86th
The best snake film ever made. I watched the second film first, and it sucked so much. So I got this one, and it was quite good. Jon Voight's acting was quite good, his character was supposed to be comedic. Dunno why people said he sucked. The snakes looked realistic 'cos they were animatronic. The death scenes were quite good. Please avoid the second film.
Rated 16 May 2010
20
23rd
Friggin hilarious! I love snakes. HAHA I had to laugh even harder when I saw that the genre was also Horror
Rated 06 Apr 2019
5
4th
Probably one of the worst movies of the 90's.
Rated 31 Jan 2007
5
1st
A very, very bad Jaws rip-off.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
12
4th
Can you imagine any film dumber than this? Even if you can, it's completely laughable on all levels, and unfortunately unleashed a tide of "oversized predatory animal" films that all went straight to video.
Rated 15 Dec 2008
52
20th
Four drink minimum to enjoy this movie.
Rated 14 Apr 2024
0
2nd
Rated 14 Dec 2009
69
6th
Scared the "L" out of me, but not that great of a show.
Rated 02 Jul 2009
60
25th
Works as a B-Movie. John Voight is awesome in it.
Rated 29 Oct 2009
40
21st
Do not save much in the film, but serves as entertainment.
Rated 07 Jan 2011
100
96th
2
Rated 24 Jun 2022
60
31st
This is grossly miscast (which is part of the fun), but also far more competent than I was expecting. The effects aren't good per say, but they're an admirable attempt to merge practical FX with CGI and occasionally look decent. More often than not it's just hilarious. Honestly, probably the biggest disappointment (and surprise) is how many opportunities Owen Wilson had to say "wow" and declined.
Rated 31 Aug 2013
50
47th
The snakes look good, you can tell who each character is, the rainforest is wonderfully shot, and Jon Voight alone makes the trip worthwhile. It's just never really all that scary or even thrilling. It has a few moments, but works much the same as Alien: There is a thing out there that will eventually kill everyone, and you're just here along for the ride.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
45
20th
So trashy it's almost good!
Rated 06 Aug 2008
46
12th
I don't know what was worse, J-Lo or the cheesy rubber snake
Rated 24 Jun 2009
3
31st
Fun trash.
Rated 01 Sep 2007
49
11th
When the shark excuse becomes too old they change the animal but not the script
Rated 05 Jun 2011
20
12th
Holy fucking shit this scared the hell out of me as a 7-year-old. But my hot babysitter did cuddle with me, so I guess I can't totally hate it.
Rated 24 Apr 2007
1
4th
Jennifer Lopez is pretty hot in this movie.
Rated 24 Aug 2021
78
55th
Old fashioned, unironic "creature feature" feels a little sanitised in terms of its gore (a more full-throttle horror version would work even better), but as it is it's good fun and sold by the cast's sincere and direct performances; Voight is also a good reminder of what an invaluably odd presence he was back in the 90s. Well staged and well-crafted by Llosa, who keeps things simple and straightforward while also successfully delivering the shocks. A minor triumph.
Rated 19 Jan 2013
43
19th
If only the CGI had held up better, and Jennifer Lopez wasn't in it, and it was actually good.
Rated 29 Mar 2024
50
10th
Rated 08 Jun 2009
34
5th
A bit speachless actually. Yikes, this sucks.
Rated 21 Jul 2008
11
1st
Wow, I expected it to be just a bad movie going in, and instead I got a horrible one. Just terrible in general, except for Voight.
Rated 29 Mar 2021
50
10th
3/10
Rated 10 Jan 2010
14
7th
Hahaha, Jon Voight as a Hispanic guy holy shit.
Rated 04 Apr 2009
65
13th
jennifer lopez's ass that all was good about this movie
Rated 13 May 2020
25
8th
Stupid as hell, but incredibly entertaining.
Rated 14 Aug 2007
10
13th
Jennifer Lopez is ugly and can't act. Shitty story, with even shitter acting and directing. Ten points only for Jon Woight.
Rated 31 Mar 2024
50
28th
Rated 25 Sep 2010
21
6th
Eric Stoltz has the easiest role ever in film history.
Rated 06 Aug 2010
35
23rd
The anaconda itself is cool. The rest is pretty much what you'd expect out of a cliched monster movie.
Rated 08 Jul 2008
45
3rd
Okay, this one was dumb. Dumb Dumb Dumb.
Rated 24 Jun 2011
8
3rd
Rated 20 Aug 2015
90
39th
A "National Geographic" film crew is taken hostage by an insane hunter, who takes them along on his quest to capture the world's largest - and deadliest - snake.
Rated 16 Oct 2011
12
9th
Terrible story and acting.
Rated 21 Oct 2008
30
21st
Meh.
Rated 17 Sep 2008
19
12th
som slagen dog skifter i størrelse undervejs..
Rated 23 Jan 2009
5
6th
dumb
Rated 27 Apr 2007
25
1st
The only reason this is even worth scoring is because it ranks as one of the worst all time mvoies
Rated 03 Feb 2011
2
0th
lmao!!! worst movie of all time
Rated 25 Mar 2009
63
21st
Generally fun if thoroughly formulaic throwback to the monster movies of yore. The cast members are polished off one by one, in a fairly predictable pecking order, by the peckish snake. South American scenery specialist Llosa yields the max from his authentic locales, to say nothing of Lopez's supremely photogenic bod. In the thespian department, the snake finishes a close second to Voight, who turns in at once menacing and witty work as a dangerous Paraguayan "river rat".
Rated 24 Feb 2008
48
21st
This movie certainly isn't a good one and still... This brings back some sort of nostalgia and every time it's on tv, I can't help but watch. It's a classic and you should definitely watch it at least once.
Rated 16 Aug 2008
40
19th
x0
Rated 08 Mar 2007
75
40th
AN action flick with a rookie cast that would earn a decent amount of respect later, makes for a decent movie in hindsight. It is definately fun to watch.
Rated 24 Mar 2024
80
34th
Rated 14 Aug 2007
6
2nd
If bad movies were people, they would watch this film and laugh at it for being bad and not be hypocrites.
Rated 25 Jan 2015
10
5th
So bad it's boring.
Rated 23 Jun 2011
90
52nd
I give this extra points just for being a "guilty pleasure" movie and fun to watch. It's really not that good with terrible dialogue and over-acting, as well as early CGI snake effects, but it a great popcorn movie and throwback to old sci-fi/monster movies.
Rated 05 May 2019
97
90th
Realistic and filled with suspense. The sound effects, location, and acting are superb. My SCORING: 99-96=Great; 95-90=Very good; 89-85=Good; 84-80=So-so; 79-70=Boring; 69-1=Forget it
Rated 07 Oct 2019
30
7th
Jon Voight was robbed of another Oscar here. You need to see this movie. It's easily on par with such masterpieces as "The Room" or Kirk Cameron's "Saving Christmas."
Rated 25 Dec 2012
15
14th
I think this one the oscar? Not sure correct me if I'm wrong.
Rated 27 Jan 2012
47
26th
Loved this as a kid for some reason. At least they didn't totally resort to CGI I guess. Points deducted for no Jennifer Lopez death.
Rated 03 Dec 2015
23
12th
D
Rated 15 Apr 2024
90
42nd
Rated 05 Nov 2011
15
2nd
I did not enjoy this. Not at all.
Rated 10 Nov 2007
59
19th
F-grade B-grade.
Rated 20 Dec 2009
1
11th
big ass snake
Rated 06 Sep 2010
30
5th
Dear Hollywood, thanks.
Rated 19 Aug 2007
85
43rd
Creepy, especially if you hate snakes.
Rated 22 Aug 2007
40
41st
ok
Rated 25 Sep 2007
20
2nd
Truly one of the more ridiculous offerings you're ever likely to see.

Collections

(30)
Compact view
Showing 1 - 24 of 30 results

Similar Titles

Loading ...

Statistics

Loading ...

Trailer

Loading ...