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Summary: From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. Joe team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organisation to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos. (gijoemovie.com)
Didn't even keep my attention long enough to remember the character's names. Maybe if I was a fan of the comic? Cobra Commander was the only one I remembered.
Final Rating: 9/100 (F) - This movie is reserved for the brainless only. With thin dialogue and a gunshot every two minutes, this movie totally insults my exceedingly high intelligence.
Much better than Transformers 2. Although what was the need for the accelerator suits? Also I'm not sure what the point of half the plot was. Without giving it away I think that the first hour was pointless. Also I think that Snake Eyes is the only one of the Joes worth a damn.
Suspension of disbelief cannot even rectify the abysmally ridiculous plot and characters. The action scenes are unbearably cliche and at moments are as plastic as the action figures themselves. The humor consist of flat lovey-dovey lines and sexual innuendos; moreover, Hollywood's anti-capitalist disposition has become so blatantly biased towards their naive socialism and utopian worldview that it is pathetic. The only positive note, is the laughs accompanied by Hollywood's wild-eyed stupidity.
The only thing that is interesting about this film is when the Joes get into their robot suits, and the chicks in this film are hot. Everything else sucks about this film. I want my money and 2 hours of my life back.
The one bright spot in this movie is Byung-Hun Lee and Ray Park as the memorable Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. Unfortunately they still receive way too little screen time and we get lots of Marlon Wayans cracking dumb jokes at the camera. The entire movie looks like it was pieced together by Hollywood producers who wrote ad libs directed by the hack Stephen Sommers. The CGI is also hilarious at times and is worse than what you would see in a game like Call of Duty Modern Warfare.
For all the negative reviews, people must have had excessively high standards for a movie brought to you by HASBRO. It really wasn't that bad, considering that it's based on a toy. It was an awesome, brainless action movie with lots of cool special effects.
As an action movie, it's pretty poor. However, as so-bad-it's-good entertainment, it's quite fun. Bad CGI, over the top action sequences, bizarre one-liners, and a random critical darling (Gordon-Levitt) hamming it up adds to the insane cheesiness. Sommers obviously took what should have been a loose, fun summer action flick way too seriously, landing it squarely in camp territory.
Ok I can understand this not getting good reviews. It's a movie directed by Stephen Sommers about a toy line and stars Channing Tatum (neither one of whose names are actually names). But it's not Michael Bay-bad. In fact some parts are fairly entertaining. Kind of the cinematic equivalent to going to Taco Bell, ordering a number three meal and being pleasantly surprised it didn't lead to intestinal destruction and ten hours of making a run for the border.
This was a serious chore to watch. The movie tries to be clever by inserting in a bunch of GI Joe references everyone would recognize but this comes off more as grating and idiotic than it is clever as the movie is naturally cliche as all hell. The casting is pretty god awful as well, who in the hell in their right mind thinks that it was good idea to hire Marlon Wayans for this movie? The action, which would be the movies saving grace, is also poor and forgettable mired with bad special effects
Crap. More like G.I. POO. I guarantee by the end of the movie, you'll feel dumb for sitting through this heaping pile of crap. Only recommended if you're 7 and your parents don't know you're gonna watch it.
This is cheesy, roll-your-eyes at material. The action is nonstop and it doesn't matter. The movie is embarrassing in every area from start to finish. The acting is terrible, the dialogue is terrible, the plot is terrible, the special effects vary from awful to decent. I would've loved this movie at six years old, but the fact that I'm not anymore means that it's just plain awful, and it really is that bad.