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Summary: The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.
How much was cut from this movie that Michael Shannon is onscreen for literally three seconds and is the 6th highest actor on the billing? Also, how is this ONLY 70 mins? It feels much longer. I don't get the "It's good until..." reviews -- the movie is bad from the start, quickly bungling the introduction & making it impossible to care about any of the characters. For a comic book western, the movie has no visual style whatsoever. The animated opening looks TERRIBLE. What an ugly waste of time.
A boring film with a confusing mess of a character that tries to explain away some fantastical weapons by recasting Eli Whitney as a wild west Da Vinci. Jonahs super powers are barely explained to us and when he uses them we're left wondering simply "what?"
I don't understand why this movie gets so many horrible reviews. My PSI for this movie was a 33 and I don't agree with that at all. I thought that this was a fun comic book turned into a western movie. I thought that Brolin was a really good Hex, Fox was what her name implies a total fox and Fassbender was an awesome badass Irish terrorist. Oh and don't forget Malkovich as the other terrorist with the worst hair ever in a movie. Everyone played their parts well and it created some entertainment.
If there was a perfect example of a film's potential being compromised, it's with this one. It has the things needed to make a great popcorn film - a great cast (Michael Fassbender, Michael Shannon, John Malkovich, Josh Brolin), a script by Neveldine/Taylor of Crank High Voltage and Gamer, and music by the progressive metal band Mastodon - but it gets squandered, turning the film into a edited down and generic comic book film.
It's a shame I have to use numbers for the score because I want to rate it as eeeeeeh. Or . Or so-what. This is 80 (?) minutes of meh. It's like they hired a bunch of good actors (and Megan Fox) and then thought "Now what". I really wish I had waited until I discovered immortality and had billions of years to fill before watching this. Also, I could rate this lower but that might imply there is entertainment from the badness. No, no and thrice no.
This horrible piece of shit makes zero sense and all of it is too dark to see what's going on. The only time you can see is when they're showcasing some truly wretched CGI. Megan Fox is terrible, bringing nothing to the movie, and Brolin slurs every line through some horrible prosthetics. The worst film since "Gamer" last year. 10 points for Malkovich's facial hair.
Watch this film for one reason: You have nothing else to do and you want to turn off your brain for 70 minutes of cowboy-I can talk to the dead when I touch them because I was once saved by Indians and now I am a vindictive bad ass, who has to save America on its 100th birthday-action. Yeah... Thats the only reason to watch it. Brolin is cool (As always), but nothing else about the movie is so dont waste your time. That is of course unless you are in the mood that I described above.
This movie would've been much better as a bond film. It has everything a great bond film has, except a chase scene and a good story that simply moves too fast for you to notice the holes. Here you can see the holes as well as a great villain, a hot chick in a corset, and a steampunk-esk array of weaponry that lets it stumble into an alright movie. Maybe next time they can work on that plot thing.
It's good until about the time you are introduced to Megan Fox's character. Partly because she is awful in all respects and partly because the script is rather shallow and uninspired. Brolin, Malkovich and the fact that's it's run time is so low make it watchable once, but that's about it.
Jonah Hex is a film that needed something better than a strong lead actor. Josh Brolin gives it his all, but the rest of the film doesn't live up to his screen presence. Not that he's playing a unique character, as he's all archetypes, but at least he commanded my attention. Everything else falls flat. The best thing about it is that it only takes about 75 minutes to finish, meaning you won't waste much time if you decide to watch it.
This film only gets this rating because of Malkovich, Brolin, and Fassbender. There are so many cheesy moments it's difficult to pinpoint just one reason why this film is bad. Brolin's latex mouth is goofy. The music is particularly terrible and sounds like they lifted it from a direct to video release. Megan Fox isn't too bad but she instantly takes you right out of any movie she's in. This is a pretty half assed attempt at steampunk and I don't think they will ever get it right.
Can you really blame trash for being trashy? I suppose not, but when it is as clunky as "Jonah Hex" my head starts to shake. I'll be honest in that I didn't expect much of anything out of this film, and unsurprisingly I got little in return. Call it even? Jonah Hex---a 78-minute time waster that will be long forgotten before you finish reading this.
Hayward's live-action adaptation of a DC Comics superhero series from the Seventies comes across as an imitation spaghetti Western translated back into vernacular American, a mac-and-cheese Western, let's call it, or a Beefaroni Western. The plot stuff will satisfy no one's hankering for a Western, or even a spaghetti Western. It can only serve to measure the genre's further advance into decadence.
Some funny stuff in this movie. I laughed pretty hard within the first 10 minutes. Dynamite cast, Josh Brolin, John Malcovich, Megan Fox, totally underrated. Some of this movie is cheesy, but this is an excellent spoof on a bunch of old westerns. Tons of action. Yes this is historically incorrect, and full of mystical mumbo jumbo, like talking to the dead, but who cares, this movie is over the top, entertaining and bizarrely fun.
So much wasted talent. Every actor in this is way better than this film, I seriously don't understand what attracted them to this, money can't have been it - the budget looks so stretched it makes Wild Wild West look Oscar worthy. Still, wasted time on a Sunday afternoon. And it's barely over an hour long. So, it's practically over before you even realised what you're watching. I knew it was going to be crap. Just, not this crap.