Mortdecai

A complete and utter failure. Some big movies are just so bad that you can't help but wonder how everyone checked out the script and talked to the director and they still decided to go ahead with the movie as if they were clueless. That's like picking up your Chinese take-out and your first whiff of it smells like a mix of ammonia and bleach and maybe a little rotting fish. You get home, and open it up, and see a used band-aid and maggots, but you still decided to eat it. Poor choice, my friend.

The vintage post-swinging '60s feel that the filmmakers were shooting for never quite congeals other than in the form of a fun musical underscore. The overwrought crime-caper script is rambling and borderline boring. And besides a running mustache gag that's worth a grin or two, the sparse and sometimes shrill humor falls much closer to Austin Powers raunch than Inspector Clouseau madcap. (pluggedin.com)

Johnny Derp.

Mortdecai is a terrible comedy that represents a low-point in the career of Johnny Depp. A couple more like this and he won't be gracing cinema screens anymore. The quirky character act has worn thin, and that's no better exemplified than it was here. There is one highlight in this movie: Paul Bettany, who is the only one involved that comes away unscathed, and the only one to get laughs. Mortdecai is an overlong, under-funny movie that even the most die-hard Johnny Depp fans should skip.

Things this movie thinks are funny: Sex, violence, adultery, getting shot, mustaches, puking, boobs, boners and Johnny Depp. All these things can be very funny in the right context, but sadly, none of these things are even remotely funny in Mortdecai. It's a good thing this movie spoon-fed me everything that was happening to a ridiculous degree, because I sure didn't care enough to actually pay attention.

i had the misfortune of seeing part of this film while i was at the nail salon, and it made me mourn for the death of film, and for humanity in general. i also felt great sadness for everyone involved in this project - from the director to the actors to the poor guy holding the boom on set. their work on this film seems to put a resounding end to any dreams anyone involved here might once have had of being an artist.

This is bad, shockingly bad, catastrophically bad, quasar bad.

I can't seem even to begin to express the enormous degree of stupidity, terrible acting and unnecessity of this movie. Even watching the trailer is a waste of time.

This absolutely gormless movie isn't just bollocks. It also throws a spanner in the works of Johnny Depp's once-ace filmography.

Mortdecai (2015) has gotten. So much that I think I'll lose sleep over it. While it's not the greatest comedy ever made, it's pretty damn funny! In some ways this reminded me of Wes Anderson's world, like in The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014), with the playful surroundings, cartoonish people and wonderful childish humor. So British, and always poking fun at itself. I wasn't bored a second through this, and while not every punchline was a knock-out there was tons of laughs in this!

One of the worst movies I have ever seen. If you decide to watch this piece of crap, you will be upset you wasted your time. If you think this movie was good or funny, we probably won't be friends.

Everybody warned me. "Mortdecai isn't good," they said but I needed to prove it to myself like some kind of a sick test. I can see how this movie could have been good. The European caper story mixed with a good cast could have made a good movie. It should have been The Man from U.N.C.L.E. with some laughs. The movie that was made was just boring. I found myself laughing a few times. If you are able to make Jeff Goldblum boring then you have done something wrong with your film.

This is what happens when a movie gets made without anybody caring about it. I couldn't care enough to pay attention. But the actors seemed to care as little as I did. I doubt even the director and writer liked this movie.

I was doubting about this one. Is it good? Is it bad? I'm just not quite sure... You can tell Mortdecai tries so hard to be funny, and sometimes it works. But predictable it is none the less. And actually I thought Paltrow was the better actor in this movie! So I'd say 46/100.

Apart from one funny elevator/hipster scene, this one is a huge borefest. What a waste!

I avoided this movie in the theater because I had heard so many people trash it, but something about it just said I needed to see it for myself, so I rented it from iTunes. I am so happy I did. This is British humor at its finest. Keep in mind, I said BRITISH humor, not American. This movie had me laughing, something very few American comedies do. After renting this movie, I instantly hit the buy on iTunes. Sorry for doubting you, Mr. Depp. It won't happen again.

What do you want me to say? This movie had no redeeming qualities besides maybe Ewan McGregor's face. I really do like him a lot. His performance was terrible though, the writing was some of the worst writing I have ever seen on film, and the direction was actually probably the strongest aspect - which still isn't positive. If you're going to watch Mortdecai, get drunk and watch Mortdecai. Have fun with it - the experience of watching it that is, not the movie, the movie isn't fun, it's painful.

Arch, self-consciously "zany" Johnny Depp tomfoolery that gets insufferable after the first, oh, five minutes. Stuffed to the gills with stomach-churningly smug, cutesy mugging and "witty" banter. Comes off like one of those el cheapo Pink Panther knockoffs you'd see all over HBO in the early 80's. Un-frigging-bearable.

I MUSTACHE a question. Why is everyone MORDECAID by Depp's stache?

Yes it's bad....but it's not SOOOO bad. It's watchable and Paul Bettany gives an entertaining performance.

so sad for the great artists who took parts in this shit

I wanted to enjoy Mortdecai, but the movie lacks charm, wit and humour. The characters are vacuous and unlikable, with the exception of Bettany's Jock. The plot and action are uninteresting and overall the film lacks any tension. There are a few laughs, but they are few are far between. The only positive is it makes a great drinking game, where the only rule is drink when you see a badly acted stereotype.

Petrifying. Johnny Depp seems to be caught up in an unstoppable downward-spiral of increasingly obnoxious character roles, starring here in what's essentially a Adam Sandleresque piss take on a caper flick (barf and fart jokes included).

ger; [mortdecai]; ein in geldnot geratener adeliger und teilzeit-kunstschurke namens mortdecai soll england bei der beschaffung eines gestohlenen kunstwerkes helfen - doch andere gangster sind ebenfalls dahinter her.;

embarrassing lol. imagine

A silly romp. Watched on a whim on Hulu. Never heard of it before, didn't even read description of movie. Not terrible but definitely not great. Probably best enjoyed by the middle school demographic.

left me mortified

Not quite sure why this gets so much hate. It’s not highbrow humor, but I didn’t expect to be. Fine treadmill movie.

Points for my favorite actors... otherwise boring.

Passes the time.

not so good

what am i doing with my life

I realized i prefer zany outlandish characters in comedies bc when they do something strictly for a joke Im not, as i would watching a normal comedy, struck by how they're behaving in a way no real human would. Suddenly my love for biodome and dude where's my car and thats my boy made sense. Mortdecai was an epiphany.

One of the most off PSI for me in a long time. Had a PSI of 37, but I found it actually rather funny.

I tried to enjoy it, I really did. It wasn't neither entertaining, nor funny, nor engaging. I will just get behind the line of people who are feeling sad for Johnny Depp taking that role.

It's a lame, sometimes crude and mostly dumb movie, but it's also rather amusing throughout.

Its no where near to Pink Panther or Nice Guys.. Depp's charm wouldnt able to save this movie. So predictable and formulazied movie.

1442: i like it! criticker predicted that i will score this one as 54!! but i liked it

very funny 10 out of 10

Is this supposed to be a parody of something? Felt like a neverending bad sketch. Can't believe this is David Koepp's work...

Definitely not any kind of 'hidden gem', but I feel compelled to mount some kind of defence for this, a film I found pleasantly watchable if ultimately forgettable. I chuckled quite a few times, and I found the concept just amusingly and bizzarely anarchic to work. Johnny Depp needs to do something different soon, though. I miss his once-great work.

I really tried to give this film a fair chance as I usually enjoy this kind of light spy films. But within first 5 mins it was evident that this film just did not work. Depp's character is a kind of spoof of Hercule Poirot, but at this point we have seen Depp do so many versions of the same wacky character that it feels like he could play them in his sleep. There's no chemistry, gags don't work and the style is an odd combo of PG adventure mixed with violence and raunchy dialogue.