An existential horror film that broke something deep inside me. Maybe my colon. Has an actual, honest to god, film within a film. Utter madness.

What in God's name were these people smoking?

Seen Conquers the Martians? Seen the Mexican Santa? You still cannot fathom this. Worst yet is the fact that it is all orchestrated so that you can see Thumbelina. I pity any child who was subjected to this and all those involved should be brought up on charges of child abuse. [Rifftrax rips this a new one like perhaps no other but reaches new levels of hilarity when the dilapidated long-ear shows up. MST3k never got me laughing that hard for that long. Bravo boys.]

The single greatest riff by MST3K/Rifftrax. I cried, talked to myself, hyperventilated, punched myself in the head, and even got cramps while watching this. But the rating is for the movie, and this insane garbage deserves a zero.

A peerless Frankenstein's monster of a film, with the titular narrative existing only to repurpose an existant Thumbelina short, credits and all, for the holidays. Next to the bookends, with lingering takes, no location sound, and one fluffy mascot that makes Chuck E. Cheese look like the best work of Jim Henson, the theme-park kitsch of the short, though artless and seemingly interminable, could almost be complimented as "quaint".

No seriously, what is this I don't even