Nonsensical plot is one thing, but most of what happens on screen is either meaningless or irrelevant, and does nothing to advance the story. It's a big pile of nothing. Still, I did enjoy the random torture scenes watching this as a kid, and Madonna was hot, so it gets some points...

I've seen bad chase sequence, but this was on a whole other level of bad.

Whenever Sean Penn looks at his Oscar, he can take pride in the fact that he bounced back from this fecal whirlpool committed to film.