Starcrash

I mean, if you HAVE to make a cheap Star Wars ripoff, you could certainly do worse than to cast Caroline Munro and have her run around in a bunch of skimpy outfits.

I'm not the first person to notice the robot looks like a big black penis and I won't be the last.

I could write an essay about how awesomely cheesy/embarrassingly bad this Italian Star Wars wannabe is, but I'll summarize with one sentence that will either make you never want to see this flick, or move it to the top of your list: David Hasselhoff is the Prince of the Universe who wears eyeliner and has a lightsaber duel with stop motion animated robots...and Christopher Plummer can STOP TIME.

Cozzi has created one of the most thought-provoking science fiction films ever. Can a robot truly be nervous? Would a precognitive man give a shit about much of anything? And if a satellite is shaped like a hand, can it close into a fist? These questions cut to the very core of the human condition, and you will finally have answers to them after the rapturous experience of this cinematic masterpiece. (The answers are yes, no and yes)

Pretend Flash Gordon (the 1930's one) and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians had a son and daughter, each with downs. Pretend those two got it on and had a super downs child. That child would be this movie.

You all loved it and you know it.

"Imperial Starship, halt the flow of time!"

How could you not love this? It is comprehensive in its terribleness - as close as you can get to parody without being parody; plus David Hasselhoff.

I've seen this maybe 15 times. I could watch it another 15 times. It's beyond most things I can comprehend. Sort of like a gnawing addiction, a compulsion to maybe check it out again to see if you actually recalled how "out of this world" a particular scene was. Carolyn Monroe is sizzling hot and luscious in her tight leather. Marjoe Gortner is in his "Food of the Gods" top form, and Chistopher Plummer, whose cameo probably took up half this iconic film's budget, smiled serenely. Pure addiction.

Some say this italian Star Wars knock-off is the worst movie ever, while other claims it to be the single best camp fest. I stand somewhere in between. Plot is so ridiculous that even seasoned bad movie watchers will be amazed. All this Z-movie nonsense gets tiresome fast, and towards the middle of the film, I started asking myself if I'm enjoying it or not. Special effects are something - they made spacecraft models out of golf balls! I would recommend this to camp movie aficionados only.

It's delishiously shitty and absolutely hilarious. I enjoyed myself and the worst thing is: I could easily rewatch this again. It's extreme French stinky cheese, filled with 5 million explosions (seriously, how many times can a spaceship explode?!), bad acting and awful costumes. It's simply a crappy masterpiece.

Grading this on a huge curve since I watched for 2 reasons: Munro in leather & hoping for some so-bad-its-good fun. It delivers on the 1st, but only a little on the second, which is often dull (esp during the space battles which are cheap, slow & hard to follow). It is mildly interesting to see what elements are ripped off from Star Wars: hyperspace, lightsabers, & joy after kills. There's also a great John Barry score that's way too good for this. It's Star Wars w/ bad acting, script & efx.

Why don't they just use the stop time ray thing on the Count? Sheesh. Awkwardly paced, dully acted space opera.

Fantastic so-bad-it's-good Italian "Star Wars"(1977) rip-off. Before "Rogue One"(2016) and K-2SO there was Elle, the hilariously charming chauvinistic robot. Over flowing with campy cheese the movie is simple sci-fi fun for fans of bad movies.

Things crash and there are stars. Plus bikini planets, man-torpedoes, and David Hasslehoff. Oh Roger Corman.

It's amazing how a movie can throw in *so much* Star Wars stuff - robots, starships, lightsabers, smugglers, space magic, space empires, superweapons, family identity reveals - and yet have absolutely no idea how any of it worked in Star Wars. Like, the emperor whose government sentences the heroes to hard labor in a horrible prison with brutal guards is not supposed to be the good guy, you know?

I have no idea what happened in this film, but damn, Joe Spinell is giving it his all.

hilariously bad. imagine star wars on meth feat. david hasselhoff. you read correctly. although it's weird how this more than awkward copy already includes an emperor, an ice planet, a floating city, freezing and defreezing people, heck even primitives on a lush planet capturing and trying to eat the hero. and that in '79. want to come clean, george?

Too unique to rate it as low as it really is yet i have no desire to see it again unlike say the miami connection so it gets its place in my niche movie range. Hard to say if this is an earnest ripoff made by idiots or a halfassed parody made by morons. I liked barrys music, occasionally tuning out the fella and his robots just to enjoy the score.

This movie is preposterous. It defies logic every 5 minutes in hilarious ways. Everything that comes out of the robot's mouth made me laugh. In my estimation, the best "so bad its good" movie.

A gem for the connoisseur of crappy cinema. Not quite good/bad enough for the Hall of Fame, but really close. Trashscore multiplicator: 3.5

Nope.

I knew everything before it happened. The dead came back to life and those I loved died before I recognized their passing. It was as if... my mind... oh, God! my mind!... could halt the flow of time. Time is no longer, and I no longer feel. I am finally free of this frail corporal form. With Starcrash I achieved singularity. I float in the great Abyss.

Mimics Star Wars and ends up feeling more like a parody because it's so awful. The robot with the southern accent is just horrendous I love it.

This movie is cheesy, stupid, incredibly ridiculous and makes no sense. Which is why I've seen it twice and will watch it again. I also advise seeing the French version.

This one is a priceless turkey. I love it.

Wonderfully goofy.

When the "enemy arrived with torpedoes" I couldn't contain the belly laughs.

Part of me wanted to enjoy this film immensely, and while the shoddy production values and stilted delivery are initially a great source of hilarity, the whole experience quickly turns to mediocrity once you realise the filmmakers had every intention to make a legitimately good film. Case in point: replace the original score with Mr Roboto by Styx every time Elle appears on screen and I dare you not to enjoy this more.

This was incredibly stupid but at least it was mostly entertainingly stupid.

"TIME FOR SOME ROBOT CHAUVINISM!"

My recollection from childhood: very, very funny.

This is seriously ridiculous. It doesn't have much to it plot-wise but it has some of the funkiest characters, color schemes and quotes I've ever seen.

hilariously bad Star Wars copy with Christopher Plummer and David Hasselhoff... cult status

That one definitely could've used a Corman-ectomy. I mean, how pre-fab could you get? Even the theme sounded like Star Wars. And all that walking definitely lets you know why they call it "footage." The only positive note was sounded by the Sam Ervin android.

Really?

The worst knock off of Star Wars until The Phantom Menace.

The movie is more-or-less unwatchable, but the campy retro production design is almost good enough to make up for it... Almost.

Someone showed this to George Lucas and he went "A clumsy sidekick with a silly accent? Why didn't I think of that!" And that's how we got Jar Jar.

Mst3k: 7/10