$90 million went into this mutilation of Tchaikovsky, and while the money shows up on the screen--the production design is expansive and imaginative, easily the best thing about the film--it was still not well spent. An incoherent script is not helped by bad editing, horrible lyrics, and spurts of horrible acting, especially Nathan Lane (as Albert Einstein!), who masks his words with a wretched accent. An unintentionally frightening Nutcracker and unsettling rat makeup only add to the pain.

Shiiiiite.

"Konchalovsky's holiday fable confirms its chosen technology as not simply a gimmick, but a veritable crime against both cinema and moviegoers' wallets." - Nick Schager

"Vienna. The 1920s. Albert Einstein sings about his Theory of Relativity to his niece, who promptly discovers a world of proto-Nazi space-ranger rats led by a nasty, singing Andy Warhol rodent. But I don%u2019t have to tell you the beloved story of The Nutcracker."