Return To: Board Index | General Discussion

Worst Sex Scenes in film

Introduce yourself to the community or chat with other users about whatever is on your mind
TheDenizen
Posts: 1606
2957 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:51 pm

Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby TheDenizen » Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:01 pm

There's lots of very unsexy sex scenes in films. There's either terrible music, or lame "action", or the actors are obviously not into it, etc etc. Name some terrible ones and why they suck.

IMO Worst sex scene of all time goes to Sarah Polley and Gerard Butler in Beowulf & Grendel: Fully clothed (their faces is literally the only skin on display), zero chemistry, awkward looking movements, unsexy noises...the lot. I laughed all the way through it.

A close second for worst sex scene ever is Samurai Cop, which features 3 full scenes of bikini clad making out instead of proper sex, but all 3 are full of some of the most awful groping and fish kissing you've ever seen.

Share.

begoniabol
Posts: 19
2230 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:03 pm

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby begoniabol » Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:05 pm

The sex scenes in The Room. The music is beyond horrific

edkrak
Posts: 710
3020 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:49 am

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby edkrak » Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:16 pm

TheDenizen wrote:fish kissing

I didn't know this term, but it reminded me of Asia Argento in Stendhal Syndrome:
Image

TheDenizen
Posts: 1606
2957 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:51 pm

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby TheDenizen » Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:02 pm

edkrak wrote:
TheDenizen wrote:fish kissing

I didn't know this term, but it reminded me of Asia Argento in Stendhal Syndrome:
Image

lol

check this out....NSFW, it has boobs. Apparently, you can see all of Samurai Cop on Youtube. Watch it, it's the holy grail of bad movies.

the fish kissing starts in earnest at about 1:30, but it's all bad
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyh4wnRT_cU[/youtube]

Jellysauce
Posts: 145
689 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Thu May 25, 2006 6:58 pm

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby Jellysauce » Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:14 pm

the sex scene in watchmen made me want to fucking die.

by Devol
Posts: 245
1141 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:57 pm

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby by Devol » Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:18 pm

TheDenizen wrote: bikini clad making out instead of proper sex


I LOVE those kind of soft porn shenanigans


The bedroom scene in "Being There", where Shirley MacLaine is trying her darnedest to seduce Peter Sellars. (I know it's intentional comedy, as opposed to an unintentionally shitty love scene, but still......family fun!)

TheDenizen
Posts: 1606
2957 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:51 pm

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby TheDenizen » Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:40 pm

by Devol wrote:
TheDenizen wrote: bikini clad making out instead of proper sex


I LOVE those kind of soft porn shenanigans

Dude you need to see some Indonesian cinema.

Morality laws forbid nudity in films, so you get lengthy fully-clothed makeout sessions (with awful kissing), lesbian scenes that consist entirely of sultry looks and soft embraces, and stuff like chicks in evening gowns brawling in a hot tub... :mrgreen:

Mentaculus
Posts: 144
2570 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 2:17 am

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby Mentaculus » Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:49 pm

Jellysauce wrote:the sex scene in watchmen made me want to fucking die.


Also easily the worst one in recent memory. 1) It ruined a classic song (which I doubt Snyder understood). 2) Was one of the only moments Snyder shot something and didn't use the comic as a freaking storyboard. Which goes to show why he uses comics as storyboards, and why he should not be trusted to have independent thoughts. I'm clearly bitter.

Also: Rob Schneider in The Animal, The Island, the first Ace Ventura (I like the movie, but it's a pretty awkward scene), Bergman's The Touch I probably didn't understand, every single sex scene in Soul Plane, and the scene in Crash with Don Cheadle. Every instance of nudity/sex in Crank 2 was a black stain on my retinas that won't wash off.

Mentaculus
Posts: 144
2570 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 2:17 am

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby Mentaculus » Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:53 pm

TheDenizen wrote:Dude you need to see some Indonesian cinema.

Morality laws forbid nudity in films, so you get lengthy fully-clothed makeout sessions (with awful kissing), lesbian scenes that consist entirely of sultry looks and soft embraces, and stuff like chicks in evening gowns brawling in a hot tub... :mrgreen:


Reminds me of those terrible Italian horrors where naked lesbians make out awkwardly so zombies have the right to kill them. (Blind Dead!) :D Although the hot tub thing sounds hilarious.

Stain
Posts: 225
5628 Rankings
Your TCI: na
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:19 am

Re: Worst Sex Scenes in film

Postby Stain » Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:54 am

I'll probably think of worse in a while, but the first that comes to mind is Out of Sight. George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez strip off so the audience can check them out before getting into bed. It is one of many sex scenes that gets me to suspect that half the filmmakers in Hollywood are virgins, including the pornographers; making love is not a sight thing, it's a touch thing. (Listen and learn, kids. :-) )

(Yes, yes, I know, movies are a visual medium. It still came across as totally unnatural.)


Return to “General Discussion”