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Full Reviews : Conan the Barbarian (2011)

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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby ShogunRua on Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:31 am

deanazhollis wrote:
Such potential...wasted.... due to poor money management and planning.


I don't mean to pick on you specifically, but statements like this always confuse me. Did you really expect this re-make to be anything other than hot garbage? Did you honestly think there was more chance of this being good than of you winning the lottery tomorrow?

The original film was a personal, heartfelt statement from its writer and director, John Milius, on who he was as a man and an artist. It was a love letter to Sergio Leone. It was a story of Milius's own struggles in Hollywood, of being black-balled as a fiercely conservative man in the liberal, leftist culture of Hollywood.

Even then, a lot of things went right for Milius, from the immortal score by Basil Poledouris to an outstanding performance by James Earl Jones, to the casting of a young, unknown bodybuilder who turned out to be one of the greatest action stars ever.

You honestly thought some crappy re-make blatantly trying to cash in on nostalgia and name brand recommendation, which makes no statements and wants to avoid offending anyone was going to be good?!

It's strange to me that Hollywood can keep suckering people in like this.

ShogunRua
 
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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby TheDenizen on Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:04 pm

ShogunRua wrote:You honestly thought some crappy re-make blatantly trying to cash in on nostalgia and name brand recommendation, which makes no statements and wants to avoid offending anyone was going to be good?!

I think there's a fine distinction between believing it will be good and hoping it will be good.

I knew the movie wasn't going to be great, I was just hoping that it wouldn't be shit.

But it was.

TheDenizen
 
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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby ShogunRua on Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:49 am

TheDenizen wrote:I think there's a fine distinction between believing it will be good and hoping it will be good.


Sure, but I'm assuming that when people decide on what film to watch, they want to choose the one with the greatest expected return on their "investment" of time and money, right?

That is, a movie that they are most likely to enjoy. In this case, expecting an enjoyable experience from watching the re-make of "Conan the Barbarian" was like spending $10 on lottery tickets; there was a 99.9999% chance you would be suffering crushing disappointment.

In fact, I would argue the lottery tickets are a better investment; at least there you have the temporary joy of filling out your numbers, waiting for the results, and it doesn't suck up 2 plus hours of your life, nor do you have to deal with jerk-offs in the theater!

Oh, and the potential reward of several million dollars is better than seeing a half-way enjoyable blockbuster action flick.

So again, with all the great movies out there, why would anyone who was a fan of the original and has some concept of how modern re-makes and CGI action pieces are done go see it? Doesn't make sense really, from an economics perspective.

ShogunRua
 
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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby TheDenizen on Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:03 pm

ShogunRua wrote:So again, with all the great movies out there, why would anyone who was a fan of the original and has some concept of how modern re-makes and CGI action pieces are done go see it? Doesn't make sense really, from an economics perspective.

Psh, economics be damned. Maybe I'm just extremely fortunate that I don't have any real financial hardships, but dropping $20 on a night out at the movies is not a big deal to me. I do it all the time for stuff I'm only vaguely interested to see. If I started agonizing over having paid to see shitty movies I'd probably end up killing myself. :P

Really though, I was extremely doubtful about seeing the Conan remake until I saw Jason Momoa playing Drogo, a Dothraki horse lord, in the Game of Thrones series. That show proved that he can certainly pull off a threatening barbarian character given decent material to work with, and was really the only reason I relented and agreed to see this film...

If only Momoa's Conan had been half the badass that his Drogo was.

TheDenizen
 
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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby ShogunRua on Tue Sep 20, 2011 5:53 pm

TheDenizen wrote:Psh, economics be damned. Maybe I'm just extremely fortunate that I don't have any real financial hardships, but dropping $20 on a night out at the movies is not a big deal to me. I do it all the time for stuff I'm only vaguely interested to see. If I started agonizing over having paid to see shitty movies I'd probably end up killing myself. :P


Yeah, it's really more the time investment for people like you and me. Also, in my case, it's the fact that even if I paid a dollar to see the film and it ends up being horrible, I have this awful stinging sensation of being cheated and robbed akin to a mugging!

TheDenizen wrote:Really though, I was extremely doubtful about seeing the Conan remake until I saw Jason Momoa playing Drogo, a Dothraki horse lord, in the Game of Thrones series. That show proved that he can certainly pull off a threatening barbarian character given decent material to work with, and was really the only reason I relented and agreed to see this film...

If only Momoa's Conan had been half the badass that his Drogo was.


Well hopefully, you won't fall prey to such an insidious trap again! :)

ShogunRua
 
Posts: 2049
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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby TheDenizen on Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:45 pm

ShogunRua wrote:Yeah, it's really more the time investment for people like you and me. Also, in my case, it's the fact that even if I paid a dollar to see the film and it ends up being horrible, I have this awful stinging sensation of being cheated and robbed akin to a mugging!


Hehe, yeah I can kinda relate...I guess my endless quest to watch all the best bad movies in existence has desensitized me a bit to feeling like I've wasted time watching a piece of shit. Something has to be quite spectacularly and offensively in your face with it's own awfulness before I'll really feel cheated. Dreck like Epic Movie or Be Cool.

And no doubt I will keep falling for Hollywood's dastardly schemes to separate me from my disposable income. Hopefully they just ease up on bastardizing some of my faves for a while. The rumored remake of The Wild Bunch (#3 in my all time top 10) already has me on edge. :|

TheDenizen
 
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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby ShogunRua on Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:25 am

TheDenizen wrote:
And no doubt I will keep falling for Hollywood's dastardly schemes to separate me from my disposable income. Hopefully they just ease up on bastardizing some of my faves for a while. The rumored remake of The Wild Bunch (#3 in my all time top 10) already has me on edge. :|


Yeah, speaking of Peckinpah, I was pretty shocked you didn't give the "Straw Dogs" remake a score of 0 on general principle!

ShogunRua
 
Posts: 2049
Member Since: May 16, 2009 11:18 pm
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Re: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Postby TheDenizen on Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:27 am

The Straw Dogs remake was a highly competent film, I have to say. Good enough that it deserves to be judged on its own merits.

Decent acting, some excellent tension, and the story sticks remarkably close to the original (except for in a few key areas)...it doesn't better the original film in any way, but it does no violence to its memory either... :geek:

I think part of the reason I was so accepting of it was that I literally hadn't even heard a remake was being made until the day before I went to see it. I didn't have much time to fester about it :P

TheDenizen
 
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