General Discussion : Favorite Mini-Reviews

[ShogunRua]

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

I was expecting to find it on Cinemageddon, but no dice! I'll definitely keep an eye out for it...

[TheDenizen]

Apparently, Dear God No! is still seeking a distribution deal for DVD. For now you can only see it at festivals and sponsored screenings.

Hopefully it will be available in digital format soon.

[hellboy76]

Apparently, Dear God No! is still seeking a distribution deal for DVD. For now you can only see it at festivals and sponsored screenings.

Hopefully it will be available in digital format soon.

Well shit after this thread I was looking forward to seeing it lol

[Anomaly1]

For 50/50:

It is no secret that after Mysterious Skin Joseph Gordon-Levitt has been furiously loved by homosexuals. Now he can rest comfortably knowing that people with weird back cancers will love him, too.

[Anomaly1]

Post more mini-reviews

On the Battleship adaptation:

Better and worse than expected. Unfortunately, it's worse in all the areas that matter, and it excels somewhat only in special effects. I knew something was terribly wrong when I caught myself thinking things like "I really wish I was watching Transformers 3" and "at least Transformers had heart". Transformers really doesn't have any heart. The existence of this film is as disturbing after having seen it as ever, even though it does a few things right. Kitsch isn't terrible.

haunting visions of a future when criticker users will wax nostalgic about the heady days when action movies were *only* as bad as transformers.

[TheDenizen]

My most recent fave mini-reviewer is Kojiless. Here's a sample:

Bridesmaids

Coitus-craving housewife who wants to murder her loinfruit? Check. Bubbly ditz who says everything she is thinking without thinking about anything she's saying? Check. Ample effort spent on fleshing out these characters instead of packing the celluloid with cupcake-baking montages (yes, plural)? No. Oh well, at least it featured a pair of rabid raccoons and a, shall we say, "mature" Wilson Phillips...or was it a pair of mature raccoons and a rabid Wilson Phillips...? Too...drunk... to....tell...

Ghost World

I suppose GW is intended to appeal to the denizens of that proverbial slice of white bread suburbia, where angsty pre-teens suffer from severe cases of self-inflicted outcast syndrome--a frightening affliction that fills the hearts of impressionable youths with the urge to over-enhance their eyes with copious amounts of melancholy colorant and take grainy pictures of their pouty mugs with phone cameras precariously positioned approximately two feet above their heads. Buscemi is awesome, though!

The Grey

I like that part where Liam Neeson punches a wolf in the face. Wait, he doesn't? But he shoots one with a makeshift bow made out a fallen branch and a strand of woolly mammoth hair, right? No? Hides in a foxhole, waiting for one to come along before jumping out at the last minute and piercing its throat with a pine cone? No? Ruptures one's gut with a shotgun shell-tipped spear before decapitating it and cooking the body over a fire? Yes? Then, I believe the appropriate reaction is "fuck, yeah."

The Expendables

Oh, how I wanted to love this. When I first saw the trailer, I immediately went onto eBay, purchased a Cabbage Patch KId, and upon its arrival, tore the head off in a frenzied fit of unadulterated glee. What could be more awesome than a movie that took all of my childhood action movie heroes and packaged them in one epic jack-in-the-box? Unfortunately, a few turns of the crank and a couple out-of-tune clunks later, the only thing that popped out was a besotted, ass-fondling Mickey Rourke.

[frederic_g54]

My most recent fave mini-reviewer is Kojiless.

Awesome reviews, been having a ball so far reading the rest:

Colombiana

I think I've figured it out. Luc Besson has three ideas. When he writes a screenplay, He takes those ideas, puts them into an empty Kleenex box and pulls out two. He then flips a Princess Diana commemorative coin onto which he's written 'future' and 'present.' Finally, he logs into Words With Friends to desperately search for an actress whose name will score him the most points on a triple word tile.

The Core

Wow. Can actors be any less uninspired? The tension in this movie was so non-existant, I thought I was watching a lecture on the importance of oats in a horse's diet. (Yeah, that analogy made about as much sense as the movie did)

Ghost Rider

That's 24 points for the effects and 1 point for...um... Alright, that's 25 points for the effects.

[ytmn]

Was ranking Perfect Blue when I saw this brilliant review of KasperL's

A mindfuck of near-unrivaled intensity and one of the greatest thrillers of all time. Intertextual references to gialli and slashers. Satire of fandom and celebrity culture. Metatextual exploration of the boundaries between diegetic world, the fiction in that world and character psychoses. We share Mima's anguish and are thrown with her into the downward spiral of an ever-twisting story which breeds 'Mulholland Dr.' and 'Black Swan', albeit prefiguring both. Superbly directed. Kon was a genius.

[frederic_g54]

I hope it gets a lot of exposure and has a lot of success!

I hope it bombs!

[ShogunRua]

What I hope for is fewer spammers on these forums.