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CaptTesticle
Film Freak - 512 Films Ranked
Member Since: Aug 7, 2009
Location: Camp Nutsack, Cold, Antarctica
Age: 103
Gender: Male
Status: Attached
Bio: Stop sucking my balls, I'm trying to watch the movie!
Recent Rankings
60 The Score (2001) - Feb 27, 2012
Mini-Review: Paws at you for attention with its ineffectual feebleness. You'll need some claws to go with that felt next time Mr Oz.
60 Cocoon (1985) - Feb 27, 2012
Mini-Review: Overburden The Tax Base - The movie. No matter how charming these wrinkly chaps are they're still rorting Medicaid. Cocoons: not FDA approved.
70 Babe (1995) - Feb 27, 2012
Mini-Review: My creaking baboon heart beats sporadically for this movie (surprised me too). Someone performing experimental abominations on those fucktarded singing mice would similarly ease my mind.
55 The Negotiator (1998) - Feb 27, 2012
Mini-Review: Should have shown Jackson in his shouty negotiator pomp. ENGLISH MUTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!
65 Caddyshack (1980) - Feb 27, 2012
Mini-Review: The cast is funny in spite of the movie. Murray with his hand up a gopher corpse puppet that speaks for him would have been the way to go with the sequel.
55 Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) - Feb 27, 2012
Mini-Review: This time it's personal!... well sort of, but not really, what the fuck we'll do it anyway.
55 Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994) - Oct 17, 2011
Mini-Review: Squeezes the last few drops of funny out of Nielsen and spits them in your general direction.
20 Mercury Rising (1998) - Oct 17, 2011
Mini-Review: A straightforward eugenics cull goes awry as bleeding-heart lefty Willis pokes his nose into government business. Support the president you socialist scum!
45 Overboard (1987) - Oct 17, 2011
Mini-Review: I'm a little foggy on this one, but is he raping an amnesia victim? Oh wait, she's a 1 percenter... carry on then I suppose.
20 Wild Things (1998) - Oct 17, 2011
Mini-Review: Not much of a twist. I mean, I figured out Denise Richards had fake breasts pretty early on. Sorry for the spoiler, but now you won't need to watch it right? RIGHT?
 
 
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