Mini-Review: This movie is absolutely fantastic in just about every way possible. The fact that one man, Sir Tommy Wiseau, managed to write, direct and then star in this masterpiece says much about the enormous talent and savvy this man possesses. This is a latter-day Citizen Kane that should have effectively changed the face of film-making forever, the only reason it didn't is because those who watched it were too scared of the impact this movie could've had, so it remains a lost gem. OH HI MARK!

Mini-Review: The Maize is the non-sequel to Dark Harvest - a delightful b-movie. The Maize is not. The Maize is barely a movie. The Maize is the worst movie I have ever seen. The Maize was written, directed and performed in by one man, Bill Cowell, who's greatest achievement is filming a corn field for two hours and then getting a DVD release of his corn movie. Features: some guy in yellow boots, corn, digging in mud (for ten minutes), corn, two girls screaming (for ten minutes), corn, a dog. Shit.