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TheDenizen
Celluloid Junkie - 2784 Films Ranked
Member Since: Apr 13, 2006
Location: Toronto, Canada
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Status: Single
Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.
Featured Reviews
65 T6 Schramm (1993) - May 10, 2011
"As a serial killer lies bleeding and dying, random snippets of his life flash before his eyes. You might see him doing something mundane like jogging or washing his hands, or he might be gouging out someone's throat or nailing his own cock to the table (in a harrowingly graphic scene). You catch a fleeting glimpse of something, and later see more of the same scene, changing it's initial significance. The acting is strictly amateur, but this flick gets a lot right for a low budget feature."
80 T9 Shaolin Prince (1982) - Nov 03, 2011
"Two Chinese princes are separated as young children before the rest of their family is slaughtered, and years later they find each other and team up to kill the bad guy. A really simple story, but what a feast of kung fu. Tang Chia goes all out with the fantasy martial arts, including tons of wirework and impossible acrobatics amongst the incredible variety of fighting with novel weapons. An unheralded Shaw Brothers classic."
80 T9 Das Millionenspiel (1970) - Oct 02, 2012
"It's a game show version of The Most Dangerous Game, in which a man has to survive a week of being hunted by three killers on national television to win a million Deutsche Marks. This movie must have been an influence on Stephen King's "The Running Man"...it's a brilliant parody of reality TV, more than 20 years before reality TV existed, complete with artificially manufactured drama, tasteless emotional manipulation and vapid corporate sponsorship. "
90 T10 Ai no mukidashi (2008) - Jul 19, 2011
"I'm not even sure how I can summarize this 4 hour long Japanese tragic romance/comedy/kung fu movie that won't just totally sell it short, so I won't bother trying. It's inventive, energetic and funny with a dominant theme of love and acceptance, and at the same time incredibly dark and violent. If you're thinking of watching it, be aware that it features more upskirt panty fetish imagery than every high school anime I've ever seen combined. And it's 4 hours long. Totally unique."
55 T4 Female Vampire (1973) - Apr 28, 2011
"Wanna see some softcore necrophilia? Lina Romay stars as Countess Irina, a vampire apparently without any clothes who goes around seducing people (men and women, she doesn't discriminate), fucking them, killing them, and then occasionally fucking them again for good measure. There's a bunch of awful filler with a stupid doctor and a mustachioed poet, but none of it ever goes anywhere, and it just makes you want to fast forward to the next scene with Lina in it. Tons of nudity and sex."
90 T10 Fantasia (1940) - Aug 13, 2007
"Trippy Disney classic with excellent animation and music. Watching this flick on psychedelic drugs is as close as I've ever come to a religious experience."
15 T1 Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991) - Nov 14, 2011
"Haha such crap I forgot it even existed. The only really cool thing about the first Beastmaster was the fantasy setting, so of course the sequel relocates the sword swinging barbarism to...modern day LA? WTF? I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of Crocodile Dundee."
90 T10 Mafia (1968) - Jan 26, 2013
"An overly enthusiastic police Captain uses some less-than-legal tactics to investigate a suspected mob hit in Sicily. A very densely plotted mystery filled with characters adding layer after layer of deceit until the truth is completely obscured. Franco Nero stares heroically, Claudia Cardinale pouts adorably, and Lee J. Cobb projects a powerful aura of doom as the Don running the town. This superb film defies the standard formula at every turn and has a fantastic ending."
95 T10 Predator (1987) - Aug 13, 2007
"Awesome action flick with one of the best ensemble casts of the 80's. It's great how the crack military team shows up to the jungle with tons of high tech, but it doesn't help them at all. In the end it comes down to Arnie flexing his pecs and brawling half naked in the mud with an alien. They just don't make tough guy action films like this any more."
10 T1 The Fast and the Furious (2001) - Aug 13, 2007
"VROOOM! VRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Juvenile wish fulfillment for emotional retards."