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Tripwyre
Film Freak - 869 Films Ranked
Member Since: Mar 26, 2007
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Featured Reviews
67 T6 Lethal Weapon (1987) - Mar 13, 2008
"The originator. This one laid down the blue-print for every Bruckheimer buddy flick to come. And as insulting as that sounds, somehow, this one works. Sure it meanders a little too much out the gate. Sure by now most of its characters, situations and sequences have become cliches. Sure there isn't much by way of plot. Sure Gibson's rocking the Mellet. It doesn't matter. It's just a fun and very likable flick. Released four months before I was born, it hasn't aged as gracefully as I have."
20 T2 Annie (1982) - Mar 18, 2008
"The songs are annoying and so is the girl. A touch of Trading Places would spice this movie right up. Just picture it: Daddy Warbucks, growing restless with his money, decides to pull off a social experiment, pulling a chipper little girl from rags to riches with the sole intention of throwing her back down to rags after she's acquired a taste for 'the life'. A small child's precociousness is shattered forever as a rich bald man crushes her human spirit. Sounds like fun to me."
60 T5 Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994) - May 15, 2009
"Here's the thing about this movie: I've seen it four or five times, which should leave me more than qualified to review it. Except every time I go back to watch it again it's because I can no longer remember a damn thing about it, other than that it has a lot of famous people in it and I seem to remember it being decently good. But how good could it possibly be if I never remember? It's...pretty okay. Kinda gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
39 T3 Top Gun (1986) - Feb 25, 2009
"Not as gay as, say, Batman & Robin, but it's nearly there. A beach volleyball scene feels more like softcore gay porn, but my favourite part is when the fleet commander (or whatever) declares he wants butts. While it's one of the movies that Cruise has become most famous for, the huge stars here are Val Kilmer's teeth. The movie is completely ridiculous, but there's a certain stupid charm to it that makes it almost watchable. It has a sizeable cult following for some reason, but it's bad."
13 T1 Stealth (2005) - Sep 19, 2008
"So Stealthy you can't see it. Advertised star Jamie Foxx sleeps with a Thai tranny and then decides he'd rather fly straight into a mountain than continue being in this movie. This is just after half an hour. The real star here is RoboPlane, whose computer DNA turns jet-black to demonstrate its evilness (yes, the computer has DNA). It downloads all of the music off the internet (yes, all of it), but only listens to...Incubus. Oh joy. This movie is beyond retarded, but hey, it's really funny."
9 T1 The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain (1995) - Dec 30, 2008
"When I was a kid it was a rare treat to ride on an airplane, and as a young and aspiring film buff, I looked forward to the in-flight movie the most. Imagine my complete dismay at having to sit through this craptastrophe as the in-flight entertainment not once, but TWICE. Unbelievably dull and utterly pointless, I hate this movie more than you know, and wouldn't wish watching it on anyone."
60 T5 Signs (2002) - Mar 26, 2007
"The beginning of the end for Shyamalan. Half-way through, his career heads into a nosedive it hasn't yet been able to pull out of. The moment? The big alien "reveal", which is pure goosebumps and easily the scariest bit. The problem is that we've now seen what we were previously only teased with, and the level of tension drops substantially. The movie is at its best when it doesn't show you what's out there, and instead opts to let your imagination run wild with hints of shadowy figures."
75 T7 Crank (2006) - Aug 16, 2009
"A huge surprise. I rolled my eyes at the very idea of the film, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the hell out of it. Like their drugged-up hero, Neveldine & Taylor are on a mission and they will not roll over and die until it's done. That mission is to save the Big Dumb Actioner, a genre that has lost its way in the age of Michael Bay. The only good action these days comes from serious sources like the Bourne films, but these guys are doing their damnedest to correct that. A fine debut."
7 T1 Evan Almighty (2007) - Mar 18, 2008
"Painful. Another Daily Show alumnus shows up as the news anchor in this one: Ed Helms. According to IMDb, his character's name was apparently Ed Carson. I'm now waiting on Ed Almighty to round out the trilogy. In the spirit of this sequel, it will be about a man who leaves the news after 30 seconds to become an astronaut who talks with God. There will be talks of actually sending Helms and Freeman into space (for the sake of realism), and the movie should cost more than $500 million to make. [Read Full Review]"
86 T9 Black Dynamite (2009) - Aug 01, 2011
""But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community!" A master-work of satire, Black Dynamite does an excellent job of purposefully making mistakes while still having them seem like honest gaffs. This takes skill. As a send-up of blaxploitation films, the movie doesn't just spoof the genre, it's also a stand-out example of it. For as funny a film this is -- and it's the most quotable comedy in years -- you really believe that Black Dynamite is one truly bad-ass mothafucka. DY-NO-MITE! DY-NO-MITE!"
 
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