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Film Freak - 941 Rankings

Member Since: Dec 3, 2010

Location: USA

Bio: Please come visit me on Letterboxd.

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67 T6 Central Intelligence (2016) - Jun 18, 2016
"It's taking suspension of disbelief to a whole other level when a movie asks you to buy the Rock handily getting his ass kicked by 5'4" Aaron Paul. Also the climax is supposed to be this big cathartic upbeat celebration but all I kept thinking was "Jesus, Rock, at least put on some underpants." You can make it marginally more satisfying by imagining Jason Bateman's character as the same guy he played in THE GIFT. (Though that means Gordo would also have gone to this high school)"
49 T3 The Ward (2010) - Jun 18, 2011
"Carpenter tries, and I'd watch Heard read the phone book for 90 minutes, as I believe I might have said before. But this picture just doesn't work. Realistically, that script's probably unfilmable, and I'd be lying if I said the legendary director doesn't lose his nerve (or lose interest) somewhere down the stretch. Remains watchable, though, particularly for Heard fans."
18 T1 Krampus (2015) - Jun 14, 2016
"Movie: annoying and kinda smug. Monster design: outstanding. "
37 T3 War Horse (2011) - Jan 30, 2012
"Dreck. Spielberg should be commended, I suppose, for resisting the urge to make his horses talk and walk on two legs, but they're still ridiculously anthropomorphized, and there isn't a sentimental Golden Hollywood family-friendly war picture cliche that the director doesn't furiously and mawkishly hammer into the ground. Shameless and endless. Rent AU HASARD BALTHAZAR instead, why don'tcha?"
64 T6 Arthur (2011) - May 14, 2011
"The quick-witted, prickly Brand's a vast improvement over Dudley Moore, and Greta Gerwig's amazingly cute, but overall, this is more mildly amusing than outright funny. Seems like it isn't sure whether it wants to take the family-friendly route or a raunchier, Brand-off-the-leash approach, so it ends up pretty watered down and sort of pointless. Plus it goes on forever. I still prefer it to the dull-ass original, though. "
68 T6 Stone (2010) - Mar 02, 2011
"Edgy, creepy, squirmy. Also pretty stagy and schematic, but it's buoyed by its overall unpredictability and ominous message about the possibility (or lack thereof) of redemption. Sharply performed by De Niro and Jovovich; Norton showboats a little, though. And the denouement disappoints. Generally, a fairly tight, notably small-scale psychological thriller."
46 T3 Gnomeo and Juliet (2011) - Apr 14, 2011
"Pretty frigging forgettable. Inspiration began and ended when somebody had the idea of redubbing Romeo Gnomeo and mounting a lawn decoration redo of "Romeo and Juliet." Slow, obvious, and generally bereft of any of the zest or inspiration that buoys "Rango" and most of the Pixar flicks. There are a few chuckle-worthy sight gags to keep hardcore Shakespeare buffs watching, and there's a (fairly unfunny) cameo by Patrick Stewart as a Shakespeare statue. There ain't much else, though."
93 T10 Meek's Cutoff (2010) - Jul 07, 2011
"Perhaps the most badass PG-rated pseudo-Western ever made. Slow, grueling, and tremendously satisfying--a controlled, uncompromising slice of 19th century American desperation. And it's got more drama at the edge of every frame than most hunks of so-called Oscar bait each year have front-and-center. Not for everybody, but if you're a fan of Naturalism and/or Michelle Williams, this'll be a gratifying, rewarding experience."
57 T4 Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012) - Feb 18, 2012
"Well...damn. The first one was junky fun. This one's just junky. It threw me off from the first scenes, and I was never able to get comfortably back on board--it's just such an oddly arrhythmic, haphazard, everything-but-the-kitchen sink kind of mess. I don't know if Neveldine & Taylor were trying too hard, or were too aggressively hamstrung by the PG-13 rating, or if the unnecessary 3D sucked the life out of it, or what, but it just sorta sits there. Elba's good, though."
82 T9 Criminal (2016) - Jul 28, 2016
"No, guys. No. No. This is awesome. This is fucking INSANE and AWESOME. Here are the names of the main characters: Jericho Stewart! Quaker Wells! Bill Pope! At one point Costner's character is imprisoned in the backseat of a car and he has to escape and to accomplish this he eats part of the car door. He EATS PART OF THE CAR DOOR, guys. I want to watch this movie again RIGHT NOW. "