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kyle.loomis | |
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Criticker Zealot - 12392 Films Ranked
Member Since: Apr 21, 2006
Location: Michigan, USA
Age: 26
Gender: Male
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Bio: Obsession, passion, or mental illness?
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| 1 T1 | Fallen Angels (2006) - Jan 20, 2010
"Everything about this movie is a mistake. First, I ordered the DVD through the library, but because I irresponsibly failed to look at certain details, I got this instead of Wong Kar Wai's film of the same name. On top of that, I actually watched it. Those are just 2 examples, but I can assure you there are countless more."
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Small Soldiers (1998) - Dec 19, 2010
"Clearly what happened here is the Zionist media got a hold of this political satire about the consequences of a comically bloated military industrial complex and watered the message down with fart jokes so only the most mindless of children would enjoy it. Yeah, I'm sure thats what happened. At least it's better than the jingoist fodder the post-9/11 world has delivered. (abridged review: dumb, dumb movie)"
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The Patriot (2000) - Oct 16, 2010
"Don't be fooled, for the abysmal score is not hyperbole, but actually a magnificent achievement. Very rarely does a historical movie get so many things wrong and be so offensive doing it. On a darker more serious note, this follows the American narrative, the one that we were actually taught in school, to the goddamn punctuation. I don't want to be reminded about that."
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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) - Jan 18, 2011
"5 points. One for Matt Damon, one for Chris Rock, one for Will Ferrell and the automatic two for paralyzing my brain effectively for 100 minutes to escape the dismal void that is existence."
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| 5 T6 | Flow: For Love of Water (2008) - Apr 13, 2011
"Its certainly alarming, although any anti-capitalist isn't going to be particularly shocked. It still has that pie-eyed optimism that these documentaries all seem to share, taking for granted that our apathy will be shattered before, and not after, huge portions of Americans start rotting up the sidewalks with the smell of old death."
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