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Archive for May, 2009

Dead Snow – Norwegians Are Either Genius or Insane

To publicize the Norwegian DVD release of Dead Snow, the team behind the Nazi zombie flick has released a 3-minute promotional video.

If you hate zombies, can’t stand Nazis, and are sick to death of ironic horror comedies, well… don’t worry. Clicking on “Play” won’t ruin your day. If however, you dislike buxom, bubbly blondes singing about their asses and showing off gratuitous amounts of flesh, then avoid this video at all costs.

Advertising is a magical medium. Somehow after watching a Norwegian semi-celebrity sing about her butt, I desperately need to see Dead Snow.

[via TwitchFilm]

Forum Watch: Full Reviews

It’s been about a week since we debuted a new feature at Criticker, which allows users to write full reviews of movies they feel particularly strongly about. If you’ve ever been on a particularly clever rant and then hit that 500-character limit on mini-reviews, you’ll know right away how useful this new feature is.

In the past few days, there have been a few full reviews written:
Jeb reviews Terminator Salvation
HorrorMaster reviews Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Tripwyre reviews Evan Almighty
Devilry reviews Departures

If you’re looking for (usually constructive) feedback on your opinions and writing skills, this is a great way to get it. Jeb’s review of Terminator has sparked an unusually healthy discussion. And don’t forget, you can link your mini-review directly to your full review. Here’s how.

2 New (Mini-)Enhancements

1. TCI on Forum

Thanks for the suggestion, whatismyname!

2. Profile Links

This one was a little more involved, but hopefully transparent to your interaction with the site. As we did a few months ago with films and people, we’ve now changed the URL Format of Users. Gone are the days of “?up=1280“. From now on, you access users’ profiles like this:

Your own profile is reachable from: http://www.criticker.com/profile

We don’t expect any issues, but this change touched just about every file which makes up Criticker, so if you do discover weird behavior, let us know!

DVD Report – May 26th

Just when it’s looking like the worst week for new DVD releases in a year, Japanese animation saves the day. The Sky Crawlers may not be a huge Hollywood smash, but the reviews it’s received at Criticker might one day qualify it for our list of Neglected Gems. The film, directed by Mamoru Oshii (Ghost in the Shell), was nominated for the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival.

KillshotAverage Tier 3.96
When a husband and wife witness a shakedown, they discover that the Witness Protection Program is no match for a pair of ruthless killers who want them dead. Killshot @ Amazon

New in TownAverage Tier 1.57
A Miami businesswoman adjusts to her new life in a tiny Minnesota town. New in Town @ Amazon

Powder BlueAverage Tier 3.50
Four Los Angelenos — a mortician, an ex-con, a suicidal ex-priest, and a stripper — are brought together on Christmas Eve by a mixture of circumstances. Powder Blue @ Amazon

Criticker Pick!The Sky CrawlersAverage Tier 7.25
Kannami Yuichi is a fighter pilot who is newly transferred to Urisu Base to replace a pilot who died in battle. Yuichi strangely does not age like normal people would, and the base commanding officer Kusanagi Suito seems to have the same ability. They are revealed to be Kildren, a group of ageless adolescent pilots who are genetically-created to engage in endless dogfights between two companies, Rostock and Lautern. (nihonreview.com) The Sky Crawlers @ Amazon

Forever StrongNot Enough Rankings
A talented-but-troubled rugby player (Faris) must play against the team his father (McDonough) coaches at the national championship. Forever Strong @ Amazon

New Enhancement: Streamlined Ranking

As we did awhile ago for the Rank More Films page, we’ve now streamlined the ranking process on the Film Information page.

Wicked Photoshop Skillz

You no longer have to click on “Seen It” in order to rank the movie… you can just start typing directly into the scorebox. This is a pretty minor enhancement, but we thought it worth at least a mention.

Tavel Twitter Service

Haneke’s The White Ribbon – Winner at Cannes

Michael Haneke has long been one of the world’s most consistently excellent directors, and now he has a new ribbon in his cap: the Palme d’Or — the world’s most prestigious prize.

Das Weiße Band (The White Ribbon) concerns the happenings in a rural pre-WWI German village. Shot in stunning black-and-white, the film made an immediate splash at Cannes and no one was too surprised to see it walk off with the top prize. Haneke weaves together a tale of punishment and order, where children are viciously beaten for the slightest offense, before the town’s strict moral code begins to fall apart. The film is both a moving drama, and an artistically-told parable for Germany’s eventual fall into fascism.

I haven’t been able to turn up a trailer, but here’s a short scene from the movie. And don’t forget, if you want to check out the full list of Palme d’Or winners, there’s a collection waiting for you.

– Join the Movie Forum

Merchandise: Vader Saver – Star Trek Spork – DIY Zombie Dessert

Vader Saver
darth vader piggy bank

Just cram your change into a slot in Vader’s bank and your coins will be protected by Vader’s saber and intimidating stare. Give the plug on the bottom (of the bank, not Vader’s bottom) a twist and out pours the cash so you can build your own Death Star. The Darth Vader Bust Bank is the coolest bank in any galaxy.

More info: Vader Saver

Star Trek Starfleet Academy Titanium Spork
star trek spork

Seriously, folks, the Star Trek Starfleet Academy Titanium Spork is just about the coolest Star Trek collectible ever, because it is fully functional. Just like the one Kirk used while a student (perhaps even while planning to cheat at the Kobayashi Maru scenario), these are laser engraved with the Starfleet emblem and other stuff which we’ll tell you about soon. And remember, we know how important it is for you to hold a replica of Spock’s Student Spork at the premier of the new movie!

More info: Star Trek Starfleet Academy Titanium Spork

Crawling Zombie Torso Gelatin Mold
zombie mold

For you know this zombie is only gelatin, because this was just a training exercise and you made the zombie yourself with your Crawling Zombie Torso Gelatin Mold. In just a few hours, and with childlike ease, you can make another Gelatin Zombie Torso any time you want. They are great for holiday parties, retirement parties, children’s birthday parties, and even just for friendly get-togethers. Because nothing says "Let’s have some calm relaxing fun" or "Happy 90th Birthday Grandma – you’ll look like this soon" like a Zombie Gelatin Delight made in your very own Crawling Zombie Torso Gelatin Mold. It’s delish!
More info: Crawling Zombie Torso Gelatin Mold