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Archive for the 'Bizarre' Category

Fake Criterions

We love the Criterion Collection — their transfers are of incredible quality, the DVD covers are stylish, and the films chosen for the canon are often surprising. Thought-provoking.

But even though they occasionally takes you off-guard with unconventional choices, plenty of films will never get the Criterion treatment. It was for all those crap movies that the Tumblr blog Fake Criterions was created. Enjoy.

Online Game Collection

2001 Rainbows! All the Way Across the Sky!!!

What does it mean?!!!

This is the best parody we’ve yet seen of the Double Rainbow guy. Love it.

Collection of Awesome Online Games

35mm: The Distilled Essence of 35 Great Films

Here’s a really well-done little brain teaser for all you cinephiles. I wasn’t able to identify them all… can you?

»35mm« is a shortfilm about cinema itself. We picked 35 of our favorite movies and tried to simplifly them as far as possible. The outcome is a 2 minute journey through the history of film. Take a close look and tell us if you’ve recognized them all!

From Pascal Monaco on Vimeo

Visit the Criticker Facebook Fan Page

Not Everyone Loves The Road

The Road has been one of the season’s most anticipated and critically acclaimed films. But not everyone is on board… especially a gentleman by the name of Fiore Mastracci, a critic recently featured by The Guardian in an article titled “Why I love the world’s worst film critic”.

And, indeed, Mastracci’s review truly is bad. He uses the most amateur similes imaginable (“excrement on celluloid”), makes fun of children (“McPhee is an irritating dirty faced boy”) and employs the most groaningly obvious, timeworn references (the Energizer bunny? Seriously?). It’s no help that his English is piss-poor.

But somehow, he’s “made it”, in at least some sense of the phrase. He has 204 god-awful reviews published on Rotten Tomatoes and is a member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association. It’s almost enough to make you weep… if you weren’t laughing so hard. Mastracci makes it a point to hate every movie which is critically lauded, and his reviews are laced with scatological references, racism and homophobia. The Guardian’s Stuart McGurk notes that “In a pièce de résistance, he gave Transamerica 0/10 solely for being about a transsexual.”

Still, scrolling through his reviews at least makes for a great way to waste some time… I especially love the outraged comments at the end of each. So keep at it, Mr. Mastracci! I get the sense that you feed on hate.

Gift Guide 2009

Horrible Amateur Twilight Merchandise

My brother, a Hardy-quoting literary sophisticate, is a high-school English teacher. By the demand of his students, he’s had to read and critically discuss all of Stephanie Meyer’s meisterwerks, something I believe directly related to his recently confessed contemplation of suicide.

Ain’t no party like a PDF party!

But Thomas Hardy never inspired legions of fans to create kitschy homemade Tess of the d’Urbervilles merchandise. Suck it, you loquacious windbag!

Here, according Pop Hangover, are the 10 worst Twilight items available on Etsy. Enjoy.

Free Mp3s from Amazon

Everything Should Be Set to The Arcade Fire

All of a sudden, Gremlins 2: The New Batch looks like it would be an awesome movie.

Actually, I’m just going to go about the rest of my life with Neon Bible blasting on my headphones. Everything will seem so much more uplifting and magnificent.

[via I Watch Stuff]

Obama Dracula Mask

Meryl Streep: Name One Masterpiece I’ve Starred In

Quick! Name a classic movie that Meryl Streep has starred in. No, not a “good” flick, or even a “great” one — I mean a undeniable classic.

Stumped? Don’t worry … so is she.

Source: NPS.gov

Link: The Onion