300

A monumentally extended wank. Visually the battle scenes impress (CG blood, the capes, the shields), but they don't forgive the shouting, the slow-motion, the self-referencing, the 'sword as a penis' scene, the 'we're NOT gay' scenes, etc. I also want to hear Dilios' entire narration that is supposedly evoking these visuals: 'then this really fat bastard with swords for arms and chains attached to his nipples wearing only a dog collar and loin cloth, like totally chops the generals heads off'

I was shocked to find out that the working title of this film wasn't "300 Abuses of Slow-Motion Photography". Zack Snyder, who previously directed the horrid 2004 remake of "Dawn of the Dead", is a corporate turd disguising himself as a visionary film-auteur, & his adaptation of Frank Miller's engrossing graphic novel is a tedious and turgid bore. This is the ultimate outing of post-Matrix retardation. Probably the lamest use of green-screen technology to date

Fills a much-needed gap between gay porn and recruitment film.

It looks very nice. Beyond that, it's more of a movie to titilate straight male viewers with homosexual themes under the guise of hyper-macho warfare. C'mon. You guys all know you wanted to finger King Leonidas' butt.

Entertainment for kids, with muscle but no brain.