Attack of the Beast Creatures

I just ran the numbers… this is possibly the best ever midnight movie. A bunch of post-colonial Connecticut denizens fall off a boat onto an island with acid lakes and Muppet-sized cannibals one could squash with their foot. But they don’t. From this day forth for me this movie replaces the third act of Titanic, Triangle of Sadness, and Hitchcock’s Lifeboat.

Everyone knows that the opening credits of a movie are reserved for the 'important' cast members, so when I saw "Hair Styles: DJ's HAIR-INN" at the 4 minute mark, I prepared myself for a night of dazzling dos. Let's just say that after approximately an hour of watching a party of bedraggled, unkempt, and disheveled castaways traipse about the jungles of Connecticut while being chased by rubber Tiki dolls (when not getting their faces burned off in rippling brooks) I knew I had been bamboozled.