Blackbeard, the Pirate

The only hidden treasure in this galleon is Robert Newton as Blackbeard, the man who invented torking like a properrr pirate, arrrrr, he-heh! Linda D is a fair maiden but the rest of the cast are landlubbers. The characters are damp squids, the plot is stuck in the doldrums and all the fight scenes failed to shiver me timbers. The exception to all this mediocrity is the ships, which look splendid up close and from afar. X marks the spot but it would take X cubed to make a decent adventure film.

Great, old-fashioned fun. Without the distracting silly love affair, this would have got a higher score. Robert Newton is seen at one point gnawing on what appears to be leg of lamb, but should have been a ham.

"Blackbeard, the Pirate" is brimming with betrayal and implausible schemes, anchored by a wild pirate protagonist. Its failure to embrace any humor turns what's meant to be serious into the absurd, falling short of being a compelling pirate movie.

Newton steams his way through this mess.