Conquest

A fey Hugh-Jackmannish boy with a magic bow, a Level 5 Chaotic Neutral Human Barbarian psychopath and an offscreen fog machine Modron team up and then go out and meet [screenwriter rolls 4 times on the Random Encounter table]. Confounding nonsense livened up by snake-rubbing nudity, disgusting closeups of pus-oozing-wounds covered in ants, and a crucifixion that's ruined by a bunch of dolphins. Amusing trash with a confused idea about its target audience.

I have a soft spot for cheesy '80s sword and sorcery flicks, and this one technically delivers the usual tropes (heroic quest, bloody violence, gratuitous nudity), but wrapped in the weirdest, most random nonsense possible, with The Last Jedi levels of pointless expectation subversion. By the time a character is saved from an underwater crucifixion by a pod of dolphins, you really have to stop expecting logic or you'll go insane.

Whoever was running the fog machine had a blast

Half man-half badger mutants rip a half-naked cavewoman's head off and deliver it to a sorceress wearing naught but Leonardo DiCaprio's iron mask and a chastity belt from Mars. After cracking open the head and devouring the brain, the badger-men do lines of conquest-coke with the sorceress who proceeds to masturbate on the floor with a boa constrictor. Or something like that. So many soft lenses were applied to the camera all I could really make out were the colors white, brown, and teal-grey.

Everyone is naked because they spent all the budget on Vaseline for the camera. This plays out like the D&D campaign of a perverted uncle.

A tribe of cave people are under constant attack from an evil band of wolf men led by a naked female priestess in a golden mask, but they get help when a stranger from a distant land arrives with a magical bow. Pretty lame Italian fantasy flick with not much story and terrible acting, the only thing really going for it is the frequent scenes of nudity and carnage, and lingering looks at all the nasty gore effects. Too bad a lot of it is too dark to see. Fulci should just stick to zombies.

Fulci's 'ability' to take a simple story and make it confusing was surely some kind of talent.He is like that kid in school who reads his story out aloud in class, but when you look at his notes they barely resemble what you just heard. He was a master of imaginative incoherence, and Conquest is a gloriously trashy testament to his outre sensibilities. It's pure 80's cheese with blurry soft focus fog drenched imagery that's almost strangely artistic, and the effects are delightfully corny.

What

Fulci has a go at van painting. Silly Fulci.

Even from an Italian director known for being unconventional, his single entry into the sword and sandal genre, at first in danger of being merely a bad film, turns into something dumbfounding and inspired in its off-kilter nature. Its trash but its wins we over with its mix of trashiness and moments that are almost artistic, every scene affected by Fulci's obsession with the fog machine. Watch it at your own precaution...but for me that's why I enjoy it so much.

Sword and Sorcery tale with loads of gore, nudity and snakes. Gotte have snakes. Several scenes rate as "Highly awesome" but you'll wonder who the hell the target audience is supposed to be. Not Fulci's best, but worth seeking out for fans, just for the pure wtf-factor of it all.

Probably shouldn't have chosen this as my first Fulci movie.

Delightfully insane.

It looks and feels low budget as hell, sleazy as fuck, and the story is completely dumb but at least it has some crazy gore. I've got to say that it is better than a lot of other similar films including the first Deathstalker although I know that doesn't actually mean much.

Lucio Fulci #5

Spaghetti Conan bromance with laser arrows has some goofy charm, though the fog and soft focus obscures it.

41.000

Italian gore god Fulci's entry in the Conan sword-and-sorcery sweepstakes is this mostly unwatchable drivel. A little bondage, or any kind of excitement, could only help this slow, badly dubbed fantasy from the king of maggot-faced zombies and intesting-vomiting damsels.

Better than I expected it to be (such a low rating here). Plenty of boobs and well done gore. Cinetamography is a bit off, because of the overuse of fog machines and overall dark scenes. Just expect a campyt movie, and you won't be disappointed too much.

The fight scenes are just too bad. Sword fights should not be just jumping over the camera in slow motion.

not so good

This movie is worth sitting through for its remarkable atmosphere, boobs, and lasers.