Cymbeline

It's like Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet but with a Sons of Anarchy tinge. It's hard to watch, the Shakespearean dialogue doesn't work with the modern-day stuff, and it lacks in energy and substance. Mostly, though, it's just pretty boring.

I dunno if anyone but Almereyda Could make this thing work like it did

What defines Michael Almereyda's cinema, at this point, if not perennial gross misrepresentation? As such, this just might be his quintessential work (if hardly his best) in that describing this as "Sons of Anarchy meets Game of Thrones" is even more absurd than labeling The Eternal as a straight-to-video horror film about a druid mummy. Obviously, this work is very much in keeping with his adaptation of Hamlet, and as such might be kind of redundant, but it's still 100% an Almereyda film.

The ONLY Shakespeare-dialog-in-modern-setting on film I've seen that remotely works is the Henry IV section of "My Own Private Idaho". This doesn't even come close. Shakespeare delivered in everything from "tough-guy" to "hipster" is truly dreadful. Nothing works, but it's so awful you just don't care.

I couldn't finish this, as my copy had been permanently damaged by Kurt Sutter's semen.