Dark Floors

I started off involved. I mean, clean hospitals in a horror film have just as much potential as dirty ones, but then the special effects started and I laughed. Then it sunk in that I had stumbled on the Lordi movie, and my joy turned to sorrow as I was inadvertently supporting the band I hate the most in the world. Seriously, why would one bowdlerize GWAR? Ugh. I couldn't have fun, so 1/10 it is.

Weak, really weak. Way too much of a Silent Hill/Jacob's Ladder/Cube rip-off, without the level of research required to make it work, and the primary monsters were reminiscent of Where the Wild Things Are. Not exactly pissing myself from fear over here. Laughter, however, you got me! Unfortunately, the best part was the highly stylised opening credits.

add to the silent hill esque list plus butt-fiend metal band

I dig Lordi, but seeing them in a horror this po-faced was no good. If it had been closer to Evil Dead, I would have excepted seeing them. Plus, it tries really hard to be twisty, but just ends up confusing.

Even approaching the film with a knowledge of the almost paradoxical and playful attitude of Lordi themselves, Dark Floors can't be considered a success. Although there are some decent visual effects and the band members are used reasonably well within the context of the film, it's all too obvious that the team are directed towards making music videos. It might look decent, but with an incoherent plotline and often strange dialogue it fails to perform as a semi-serious production. Limited fun.

"What was that?!" "It sure as hell isn't my autistic daughter! She's sitting in her wheelchair screaming that she wants a red crayon!" Boo. Omg, this movie was ridiculous. The "monsters" look like bike-riding ogres. Now, what would an ogre do with an autistic girl, who, from the look of most her drawings, has a thing for the male anatomy. I love the Confucius sayings by the autistic at the end. Pft. 10 points, solely for bringing Predator out of retirement and a cameo appearance from Mola Ram.

Qouting the movie it self: What the hell was that?

Not boring but senseless

Incredibly stupid.

Mr. Lordi has reached a lot in his career: heavy rock band, own business, on-going comics, this horror movie and even won the Eurovision song contest. The movie Dark Floors is more or less well executed, but fails to be anything special. And Lordi monsters just don't fit into the story. Connection to the Dante's hell is evident though.

Eventful, but not in a cohesive sense. It would have been better if the undead goons had more screen time rather than the predator wannabe. Nothing in this movie was that bad except that is made NO SENSE, it actually has some of the worst plot I've seen in a while, and accompanied by a rather ok everything else it ends up being below average.

They should have just made a film out of the Blood Red Sandman video.

* Casting, Acting : 3 * Script : 2 * Directing, Aura : 6 * Ease of Viewing : 7 * Naked Eye : 4

I did enjoy the atmosphere. Without the cooky monsters, suspense was quite well built up and this could have been a decent horror flick. Performances left something to be desired though.

"'...manages to keep up the suspense for a good 90 minutes and close with a powerful, art-film ending."

One of the worst movies I've seen.I couldn't make heads or tails of the plot of this movie, If it had one)The acting was atrocious and Lordi as the monsters was laughably bad.

Doesn't work as a real horror film because of the childish manner it's executed in. Doesn't work as a teen flick since youth these days watches Saw and other exploitative shitflicks. And doesn't even work as a nostalgic trip since it's filled with modern technology. It's disturbingly perverted to see a northern hard rock geek play out his fetishes and growl as heavy monster with gigantic black wings on his back. Words can not describe. And they say us finnish can't make decent comedy!