Die

Remember Saw? Now, replace the wicked surgical traps with a wooden chair, Jigsaw with a slightly overweight, prematurely balding Jesus Camp counselor, and a fettered Mark Whalberg with a suicidal Elias Koteas doing his patented De Niro impression. Awesomesauce. And by awesomesauce, I mean 'hand me that partially loaded gun because I'd rather take my chances with Fate than watch this crap-fest again.'

Top badass moment? I normally let Fate decide what film I should watch. In this case I think I threw a six. (That's not good.) This is a decent film sadly ruined by its garbage script. Six people (wearing very loose sleeved clothing) with cigarette-like burns on their wrists… and none of them notice for ages? Really? REALLY? But I did love Sofia’s boss’s management technique; each time they talked he ended up telling her to go home. Every time. No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.