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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

2009
Sci-fi
Suspense/Thriller
1h 58m
From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. Joe team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organisation to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos. (gijoemovie.com)
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

2009
Sci-fi
Suspense/Thriller
1h 58m
Your probable score
Avg Percentile 23.75% from 2970 total ratings

Ratings & Reviews

(2970)
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Compact view
Rated 17 Aug 2009
1
4th
more like C.G.I. Joe LoL
Rated 08 Aug 2009
29
17th
A lot more endurable and passable than I expected, but still overwhelmingly recurrent. The action scenes are decorously and properly endowed, but I'm not sold with any of the casting preferences, Channing Tatum to be precise. Oh, and Marlon Wayans.....stop trying. You haven't cultivated anything by just shouting, stomping and using unfunny phrases. The ninjas, mechanical suits and the supposed nemesis (*cough Star Wars cough*) also do not make the ranks. Just product placement for the series.
Rated 17 Aug 2009
0
4th
People have this in green tiers. I can't believe it. Seriously guys. Anything above tier 1 for this is downright unacceptable. What's going on? And I thought you guys were cool. Not enough can be said in 500 characters, and I don't want to even make a post with my review in the forums, it's just not worth it. This is a good film in the same way a turd is haute cuisine. Shame on you guys.
Rated 03 Dec 2009
40
14th
Maybe if you liked G.I. Joe as a kid you would disagree with me but this film was crap. There is actually a scene where Channing Tatum drives by a funeral service for his buddy in the rain on his motorcycle with sunglasses on and it is quite possibly the dumbest scene in cinema history. They should have put Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the movie more because he was the best thing about it.
Rated 13 Aug 2009
5
42nd
A big, silly, corny, stupid, yet somewhat filling action blockbuster. Yes it is ridiculous and does have a script that seemed to be written by an eight year old. At least this movie is fun unlike Michael Bay's abomination.
Rated 16 Mar 2014
33
5th
I saw this at an outdoor theater coupled with Transformers 2. After the second movie was rolling credits we collectively got out of our vehicles and formed a circle. We joined hands and even as strangers made a pact to never speak of what had happened. I've kept my silence until now. In all honesty though, I overpaid for the box of skittles.
Rated 18 Feb 2011
75
58th
For all the negative reviews, people must have had excessively high standards for a movie brought to you by HASBRO. It really wasn't that bad, considering that it's based on a toy. It was an awesome, brainless action movie with lots of cool special effects.
Rated 10 Aug 2009
40
3rd
The good: should keep the 15 & under crowd distracted (if not necessarily entertained) for 2 hours; Sienna Miller's outfits r very pleasing 2 the fetish community; the screen time given 2 the faceless "accelerator suits" is kept 2 a minimum; & kudos 2 Eccleston 4 managing 2 make a decent villain despite some of the worst dialogue & characterization this side of George Lucas' last 3 Star Wars flicks. The bad: EVERYTHING else. The ugly: so bad a sequel isn't inevitable, but still likely.
Rated 13 Aug 2009
25
4th
This is cheesy, roll-your-eyes at material. The action is nonstop and it doesn't matter. The movie is embarrassing in every area from start to finish. The acting is terrible, the dialogue is terrible, the plot is terrible, the special effects vary from awful to decent. I would've loved this movie at six years old, but the fact that I'm not anymore means that it's just plain awful, and it really is that bad.
Rated 19 Aug 2009
60
57th
Entertaining stupid fun.
Rated 20 Aug 2009
66
46th
Cinematic mayhem!
Rated 29 Apr 2013
31
15th
I truly believe that every element in this movie is actually a metaphor for something, and it might seem a ridiculous CGI-actioncheese-fest on the surface, but all the metaphors combined tackle some extremely complex issues regarding the human condition and the universe we exist in. I just haven't been able to properly deciper the True Meaning of it all. Yes, I am afraid I might be too dumb to réally understand the G.I. Joe movie.
Rated 09 Jul 2011
30
23rd
This was a serious chore to watch. The movie tries to be clever by inserting in a bunch of GI Joe references everyone would recognize but this comes off more as grating and idiotic than it is clever as the movie is naturally cliche as all hell. The casting is pretty god awful as well, who in the hell in their right mind thinks that it was good idea to hire Marlon Wayans for this movie? The action, which would be the movies saving grace, is also poor and forgettable mired with bad special effects
Rated 29 Aug 2009
41
16th
I have a feeling I would enjoy the film more if I were ADHD and taking antidepressants for my unrelenting sense of self-loathing. Tatum (the world's most baffling A-lister) and Quaid seem confused most of the time, and ruin the experience. Sienna Miller can't walk in heels (and if you're going to do it at the North Pole, you better be pretty damned impressive). And the characters' motivations were terrible. The one positive: I want a sequel so I can see more Levitt rightfully hamming it.
Rated 11 Sep 2009
22
11th
Didn't even keep my attention long enough to remember the character's names. Maybe if I was a fan of the comic? Cobra Commander was the only one I remembered.
Rated 01 Oct 2009
4
33rd
What did this cost? 10 grand? The CGI was amazingly bad. And the acting was terrible: Why does Hollywood insist on cramming awful actors like Tatum and Wayans down our throats? Still. I couldn't help but love a couple of the über-cheesy, über-ridiculous action sequences. The reasoning by the producers was probably along the lines of: "Let's dress people up in silly costumes and blow everything up... and then, uhm, sprinkle it with a few extra explosions and some even more silly costumes!"
Rated 03 Oct 2009
71
29th
Going in with zero expectations this was a reasonably entertaining action movie. It's ridiculous but it's fast paced and doesn't take itself seriously.
Rated 08 Nov 2009
45
15th
For a summer action movie this was really boring. Did not care at all.
Rated 19 Nov 2009
22
3rd
What do you get when a movie's only attempt is to be cool and fails? This pile of garbage. One of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. Being an action movie does not make it ok to suck. Why the hell is the CGI so bad and over used? Stephen Sommers is undeniably in Michael Bay's class.
Rated 30 Nov 2009
14
2nd
Fearlessly exhibiting almost everything that a movie can do wrong.
Rated 04 Apr 2012
42
13th
As an action movie, it's pretty poor. However, as so-bad-it's-good entertainment, it's quite fun. Bad CGI, over the top action sequences, bizarre one-liners, and a random critical darling (Gordon-Levitt) hamming it up adds to the insane cheesiness. Sommers obviously took what should have been a loose, fun summer action flick way too seriously, landing it squarely in camp territory.
Rated 15 Jan 2010
50
12th
The one bright spot in this movie is Byung-Hun Lee and Ray Park as the memorable Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. Unfortunately they still receive way too little screen time and we get lots of Marlon Wayans cracking dumb jokes at the camera. The entire movie looks like it was pieced together by Hollywood producers who wrote ad libs directed by the hack Stephen Sommers. The CGI is also hilarious at times and is worse than what you would see in a game like Call of Duty Modern Warfare.
Rated 05 Feb 2011
32
7th
Ok, this is immensely bad. But I loved the red Joe.
Rated 21 Feb 2012
76
56th
Ok I can understand this not getting good reviews. It's a movie directed by Stephen Sommers about a toy line and stars Channing Tatum (neither one of whose names are actually names). But it's not Michael Bay-bad. In fact some parts are fairly entertaining. Kind of the cinematic equivalent to going to Taco Bell, ordering a number three meal and being pleasantly surprised it didn't lead to intestinal destruction and ten hours of making a run for the border.
Rated 24 Jun 2010
86
42nd
I remember my younger brother and i yelling "SNAKE EYES!" as he jumped, no wait, DOVE, out of a chopper into battle. It touched my childhood soft spot. There were some weak points. But in the end it played out good. YO JOE!
Rated 26 Jun 2010
20
6th
It's terrible, but kind of cool in a nostalgic way.
Rated 31 Jul 2010
15
3rd
My little brother: getting me to watch shitty hollywood action movies for over a decade. thx man. Nice message; the military industrial complex can better run the world than elected officials and diplomats. A fascist pile of poopy. Explosion fatigue/numbness kicks in after about 20 minutes. Can't say enough bad things really...
Rated 23 Sep 2010
43
12th
Boring, silly film. Makes the animated film from the 80's look fantastic. It really seems as if a standard crap action movie that was already wirtten and someone wrote in a few JOE character names.
Rated 08 Aug 2009
52
31st
It's stupid and ridiculous, but then, I knew it would be when I bought the ticket. It's a G.I. JOE film, and does a good job of capturing the spirit of what kids dream up when they play with action figures. Of course, this is both a strength and a weakness, as my inner child was lapping it up but my adult mind was bored, and occasionally insulted. It is quite funny though. I couldn't stop laughing during the ninja flashbacks. Also: LOL@Brendan Fraser. Weak ending. Sienna Miller has nice boobies.
Rated 08 Aug 2009
4
44th
It's artistically useless, filled with terrible dialogue and "comedy," and I remain unsold on Channing Tatum as a movie star. But as a live-action cartoon, it achieves its modest goals. The action scenes are more varied than the monotonous robot fights in Transformers 2, and I enjoyed the ninjas, the robosuits, Sienna Miller's cleavage, and especially Joseph Gordon-Levitt's ludicrously over-the-top Darth Vader-alike villain.
Rated 08 Aug 2009
80
16th
an extremely fun and unapologetic action movie that'll get the kid in you wanting more and more. some of the dialog is cheesy and the plot seems a little absurd, but come on. it's a GI joe movie. the over the top action sequences make up for it with enthusiasm to spare.
Rated 19 Nov 2017
5
43rd
G.I Joe is a colossal, yet fun mess of a movie. Wether that was an over-arching villian, to laughably bad acting at times, to some okay CGI, Rise of Cobra missed what made the old show so popular, yet while targeting the same audience, but it's fair to wonder if that's ultimately what's the downfall of this movie, as anything based of an action figure toy line. If you can look past all the issues, G.I Joe is watchable. However, it clearly wasn't meant for the big screen quite yet.
Rated 28 Mar 2013
40
9th
Silly, but not fun enough to back up the silly. I did enjoy JGL's eyebrow acting.
Rated 05 Sep 2011
0
1st
Words cannot describe how utterly awful this film is. If Criticker did negative ratings this would get them.
Rated 10 Aug 2009
60
24th
While they theoretically could have exceeded the source material being adapted here, what was finally presented was a pretty accurate rendition of how a GI Joe episode from the classic cartoon would play out. Its cheesy, it knows its cheesy, but thats ok because it keeps the action going and gives us enough tongue-in-cheek material that we're not embarrassed for the film when things like the celtic fire command pop up, instead we get to laugh with it. This is what Transformers should have been.
Rated 10 Aug 2009
80
52nd
Better than you expect. Like Sommers' Mummy movies, it's over the top, funny and highly entertaining. The action scenes are among the most fun I've seen in a while. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is awesome.
Rated 11 Aug 2009
85
65th
Stupid popcorn-movie fun. No, this wasn't the best movie nor was it even semi-believable or even well-acted, but at least it had it's fun moments (and more of those than its sequel).
Rated 04 Aug 2017
38
14th
Loud, boring, confused and full of plotholes, it sadly pushed back Tatum's stardom for a couple of years more.
Rated 26 Aug 2011
50
24th
JGL
Rated 21 Oct 2013
17
8th
There are very few moments of cool and fun here, in between lots of nada and numb. *Preview*: #13#, re-2*, popcorn, pre-sequel, oldies(2), R1 }*{ #09#, popcorn, hype, story, (actresses).
Rated 14 Aug 2009
60
41st
So corny but fun to watch.
Rated 15 Aug 2009
80
47th
Good: Nods to original (American hero, Knowing half battle) Some special effects Snake eyes costume overall, breaking chewing gum, Scarlet bow Modernized technology Accelerator suits; Bad: - Some special effects - Acting - Nanomytes plot - Not like original: Cobra commander mask, Zartan look - Rise of cobra not shown until last 1m of film - Mind control - Hawk sucked - Snake eyes mouth
Rated 16 Aug 2009
56
20th
A cheese-fest that is well-directed, has a few surprisingly good performances, and has some campy fun, but still suffers from goofy writing, being too long, and also having several not-so-good performances.
Rated 31 Oct 2016
54
14th
54.000
Rated 11 Sep 2011
60
6th
It was ok-ish, but then a bit awful.
Rated 16 Jan 2011
50
1st
Thoroughly stupid
Rated 19 Aug 2009
80
55th
Ok... this movie is everything you'd expect from a summer action movie. It's not "Casablanca" or "Hamlet." It's babes, bombs and bangs and probably liked better than most will admit. 8D
Rated 20 Aug 2009
87
62nd
A die hard Joe junkie growing up, I told myself before I saw it that I would love it. I did. The acting was pretty top notch (except for Duke's white-thug accent and the lack of an accent for The Baroness!?!). The action was superb if a little cheesy and the backstory provided for Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow was interesting. If you are a fan of Snake Eyes, see this film, because he was presented perfectly.
Rated 20 Aug 2009
16
45th
Why was Fraser in this again?
Rated 30 Aug 2021
67
28th
I revisited this film in 2021 after only seeing it once when it first came out. I realized I couldn't remember anything about it, and that's for a good reason, this is an incredibly bombastic film that is forgettable because it's over-convoluted and lacking actual character or story depth. There's literally nothing here but CGI spectacle and flat, bombastic action. I am curious when I revisit Retaliation, because that one....I do remember much more.
Rated 11 Jan 2011
32
23rd
Compared to Bay's Transformers, this is harmless. JGL slums epically.
Rated 22 Aug 2009
29
2nd
I'm not offended by it, but I definitely deserve a refund.
Rated 23 Aug 2009
62
25th
Surprisingly not so stupid that I expected. But you must be in stand-by mode to somehow enjoy it.
Rated 24 Aug 2009
42
25th
Though the movie is stupid and ridiculous and the characters have some of the shallowest and most cringe-induction motivations ever presented on film I can't honestly say that Rise of the Cobra is a bad film. It's certainly not good but I have to grudgingly admit the action makes for an entertaining watch for the first time. Lord knows I certainly wouldn't want to see this more than once though.
Rated 24 Aug 2009
100
0th
great effects, good adaptation, some good miniplots, very nice surprises too. oh, yeah, btw, baroness and scarlett were hot!!
Rated 18 Dec 2014
60
10th
Weak story. Cool action.
Rated 02 Apr 2013
67
8th
I did not grow up watching G.I. Joe nor did I have the toys. I have no frame of reference here. It's not offensively bad, but the acting is just sort of passable and the CGI is hit-and-miss. Very generic.
Rated 08 Sep 2009
40
27th
I did not like. I think a movie G. I. Joes could be much better than that. The story is very bad writing, for a terrible director who just made bad movies. The result is a film without creativity, confused and with a lot of action nonsense.
Rated 08 Sep 2009
30
7th
Good dumb fun.
Rated 11 Sep 2009
70
11th
I like action movies but this is too much even for me. I falled asleep during the final part.
Rated 23 Nov 2014
25
9th
Yep, unfortunately this was really bad. Tatum should stick to comedies in my opinion because him and Wayans were awful. Along with most of the other cast as well. The story was plot-hole ridden, and the action was cheesy CGI. All of my nostalgia for the franchise was thrown out the window.
Rated 22 Apr 2011
50
9th
Not as bad as most people pretended, but still
Rated 04 Jan 2011
40
59th
Aside from Channing Tatum not getting out of character for Notebook and his incessantly terrible acting, the film was quite good and a better parallel to Iron Man. It had great graphics and lots of action. The only points that seemed really week were the Nano-Bot Bombs (why do they keep going and going and going?)
Rated 04 Oct 2009
55
6th
Great action, horrible acting.
Rated 04 Oct 2009
70
60th
The first half is higly enjoyable but once the brilliant Paris chase scene is over the movie just looses its steam and it gets very boring watching CGI-vehicles blowing boring CGI-stuff up(Star Wars Syndrome).
Rated 04 Oct 2009
10
1st
worst movie i've seen in a long time. and i tend to watch bad movies from time to time. the main problem seems to be that they took the origin of the movie too much into account. the story is like if the writers watched children playing with the action-figures and wrote everything down they said. and since this is a action movie with lots of cgi effects, it's troublesome that they are so poor that i couldn't even enjoy this main part of the movie and satisfy my need for spectacle.
Rated 13 Nov 2014
25
4th
It's few thrills are the cavalier total destruction of London via kinetic bombardment and a random RZA cameo. Correctly treats Snake Eyes like the chump that he is.
Rated 20 Jan 2022
54
9th
Might be the dumbest movie I've seen in a while. I didn't hate it, though.
Rated 17 Apr 2011
2
1st
Yeeeccchhh.
Rated 29 Dec 2010
42
23rd
Can't understand what audience is this movie for...G.I.Joe is dedicated to young people, let's say straight - kids. Comics are close to the same audience so...WTF is going on? A lot of 'brutal' solutions, way too heavy for this age-range to bear without being affected. Acting poor as hell and if it comes to fights - definitely for adults. Guess that someone had only money in his/her sick mind. Beside that only thing that may want You to see it are special effects...at least major part of them.
Rated 13 Oct 2009
55
42nd
It's a movie based on little plastic men. But it's based on little plastic men I played with when I was a child, and it's made with enough tongue-in-cheek to be a pleasant little fast-food meal.
Rated 15 Oct 2009
72
47th
Nothing more than sleek action, finally a movie that features such without trying to pretend to be more than that. It just works, most definitely better than I expected.
Rated 20 Oct 2009
35
6th
ruuuuuuubbbish
Rated 23 Oct 2009
63
27th
Amazing chase scene, otherwise ranges from stupid to average. Surprisingly bad CGI. It's just as stupid as Transformers 2 but not nearly as jaw-dropping.
Rated 28 Sep 2012
35
12th
A bad action movie that feels longer then it actually is. For having such cool character designs, every character feels so generic and annoying. The car chase is kind of cool until even I, an uncultured American swine who has never left the U.S., noticed that Paris streets are not accurate and they're just trying to cram every tourist spot possible into one scene.
Rated 24 Mar 2011
30
12th
This is the type of movie you wait to see in theaters till everyone has seen it and there are only a few people there. Then you can be noisy by laughing and mocking it. It was a piece of shit, but worth every penny of my 8 bucks.
Rated 09 Nov 2009
22
5th
The plot sucks, the dialogue is mind-numbingly retarded, the action is repetitive, and Channing Tatum is one of the most wooden actors I've ever seen. Mainly though, I'm disappointed that Snowjob didn't make a cameo despite the latter portion of the film taking place in the fucking ARCTIC!
Rated 09 Nov 2009
73
28th
Lower your expectations. The movie is noisy and messy with some big flaws (mute characters with no face are not worth of 1 second of screen time!), but it was easy enough to suspend my disbelief and just go along with the proposed menu of sexy women, futuristic technology and cartoonish violence. That Wayans kid actually didn't do a bad job!
Rated 12 Nov 2009
30
13th
what the hell...
Rated 17 Nov 2009
45
9th
This could be an Uwe Boll film. Except, honestly, Uwe's more recent movies have been better than this one. Poor acting, bad directing, and a plot torn straight from the pages of "bad film school", this film has poor characterization and little depth; badly spoken lines and just plain bad acting; and I won't touch the special effects with a 10 foot pole - I've MADE better CGI for video games. Still, it's got stuff blowing up and hot girls...
Rated 23 Jun 2012
30
1st
3 of 4 -- Entertainment. 0 of 2 -- Food For Thought. 0 of 2 -- Opens The Heart. 0 of 2 -- Sustainability Values.
Rated 03 Dec 2009
69
33rd
Great for what it is, but that's still just popcorn munching eye candy.
Rated 07 Dec 2009
37
21st
The strangest part here is that it makes sense. There's a story which is actually logically self-consistent. I did not expect that and I do not know how to feel.
Rated 07 Dec 2009
62
30th
Not brilliant by a long shot, but for two hours of dumb (REALLY dumb) entertainment, it does the job just fine.
Rated 19 Dec 2009
48
15th
It's bad, but not as bad as Revenge of the Fallen.That's certainly not saying much but oh boy, what a disaster that one was....
Rated 24 Dec 2021
50
45th
(C)GI galore. All action with minimal character building. But it entertains none the less
Rated 01 Feb 2010
62
69th
eng; [G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra]; vier taktische nanosprengköpfe der waffenfirma mars werden gestohlen, mit ihnen will eine geheimorganisation die weltherrschaft hohlen - die GIs halten dagegen.; (si-fi mit verherrlichung für traditionelles militär);
Rated 12 Feb 2010
45
35th
So-so cheesefest, saved from a lower score by Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow (especially that fight in the kitchen).
Rated 22 Feb 2010
50
51st
Okay Movie
Rated 24 Feb 2010
6
5th
So you thought Hollywood had reached its lowest possible point with Transformers, eh? Think again.
Rated 19 Dec 2013
35
9th
Gave this exactly the time it took to eat my dinner, which seemed to be exactly as much time as it deserved. In case you're wondering I watched the Chase thorugh Paris, which was played cringeworthily straight, considering this is a universe where everyone should have gotten their shit together and have watched "Team America" by now.
Rated 16 Apr 2023
70
46th
Top badass moment? A Mars a day really does help you work, rest and play, and trash Paris - always a plus. CEO of Mars, Doctor Who, tries his hand at a Scottish accent but ends up sounding like he’s really posh and from Yorkshire, so decides to throw lava lamps around instead. Meanwhile, Action Man (with real hair) turns up with all the cool gadgets my parents refused to buy for mine, thus stopping everything from turning into what looked like pea & ham soup. No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.
Rated 20 May 2010
30
13th
Horrendous acting, cartoonish action sequences and a seriously childish plot. I didn't have the toys, in case you haven't guessed.
Rated 26 May 2010
75
74th
Like watching someone play through a video game. In a good way.
Rated 05 Jun 2010
13
3rd
Predictably awful, shuffling a handful of weakly conceived characters with cliched personal conflicts through eyesore action spectacles. The film isn't even astute enough to have fun with its own ludicrousness. Casting Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a showy villain and then giving him no chance to cut loose and play represents a damning lack of boldness or imagination.
Rated 14 Jun 2010
60
32nd
look at the elements the director of the mummy franchise...a wayan brother..and alot of cgi in the trailers..what do you expect Hamlet...its fun, brain dead delight of just stupid catch phrases and unreal situations and of course over the top overacting...its got a few scenes I loved...but again its what it is
Rated 25 Apr 2013
45
17th
I was expecting a lot of dumb action and bad dialogue, but I was kind of expecting to enjoy that. But man, this movie is so goddamn stupid. To me, it was just boring. All the performances were bad, except for perhaps Gordon-Levitt's. The CGI was sometimes okay, sometimes absolutely awful, and sometimes so ridiculous that it was kinda awesome. I don't even really know what happened in the film now, because it just didn't make me care enough to pay attention. I can't really recommend it.
Rated 20 Sep 2010
35
34th
corny
Rated 27 Sep 2010
67
27th
This one came way out of left field. It's a terribly mediocre action flick that has nothing to do with "GI Joe" and hardly even makes sense. Shame on you Hollywood, for raking in all the 80's kids with this nonsensical piece of junk.
Rated 01 Oct 2010
84
22nd
good

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