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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

2009
Sci-fi
Suspense/Thriller
1h 58m
From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. Joe team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organisation to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos. (gijoemovie.com)
Directed by:
Stephen Sommers Stephen Sommers
Written by:
Stephen Sommers Stephen Sommers David Elliot Stuart Beattie Stuart Beattie Paul Lovett
+3 more
Starring:
Jonathan Pryce Jonathan Pryce Dennis Quaid Dennis Quaid Sienna Miller Sienna Miller Saïd Taghmaoui Saïd Taghmaoui Brendan Fraser Brendan Fraser Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje Rachel Nichols Rachel Nichols Marlon Wayans Marlon Wayans Christopher Eccleston Christopher Eccleston Lee Byung-hun Lee Byung-hun Joseph Gordon-Levitt Joseph Gordon-Levitt Channing Tatum Channing Tatum
More
Franchise:
G.I. Joe
Genres:
Sci-fi, Suspense/Thriller, Action, Adventure
Countries:
Czech Republic, USA
Languages:
English, French, Gaelic
imdb More information at IMDb
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

2009
Sci-fi
Suspense/Thriller
1h 58m
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Ratings & Reviews Cast Collections Similar Stats Trailer
Avg Percentile 23.75% from 2960 total ratings
Ratings & Reviews Cast Collections Similar Stats Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

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suture_selfSuture Self
Rated 17 Aug 2009
1
4th
more like C.G.I. Joe LoL
Rated 17 Aug 2009
sirstuckeySirStuckey
Rated 03 Dec 2009
40
14th
Maybe if you liked G.I. Joe as a kid you would disagree with me but this film was crap. There is actually a scene where Channing Tatum drives by a funeral service for his buddy in the rain on his motorcycle with sunglasses on and it is quite possibly the dumbest scene in cinema history. They should have put Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the movie more because he was the best thing about it.
Rated 03 Dec 2009
cagedwisdomcagedwisdom
Rated 17 Aug 2009
0
4th
People have this in green tiers. I can't believe it. Seriously guys. Anything above tier 1 for this is downright unacceptable. What's going on? And I thought you guys were cool. Not enough can be said in 500 characters, and I don't want to even make a post with my review in the forums, it's just not worth it. This is a good film in the same way a turd is haute cuisine. Shame on you guys.
Rated 17 Aug 2009
jebJeb
Rated 08 Aug 2009
29
17th
A lot more endurable and passable than I expected, but still overwhelmingly recurrent. The action scenes are decorously and properly endowed, but I'm not sold with any of the casting preferences, Channing Tatum to be precise. Oh, and Marlon Wayans.....stop trying. You haven't cultivated anything by just shouting, stomping and using unfunny phrases. The ninjas, mechanical suits and the supposed nemesis (*cough Star Wars cough*) also do not make the ranks. Just product placement for the series.
Rated 08 Aug 2009
omgfridgeomgfridge
Rated 13 Aug 2009
5
43rd
A big, silly, corny, stupid, yet somewhat filling action blockbuster. Yes it is ridiculous and does have a script that seemed to be written by an eight year old. At least this movie is fun unlike Michael Bay's abomination.
Rated 13 Aug 2009
recklessmessrecklessmess
Rated 18 Feb 2011
75
57th
For all the negative reviews, people must have had excessively high standards for a movie brought to you by HASBRO. It really wasn't that bad, considering that it's based on a toy. It was an awesome, brainless action movie with lots of cool special effects.
Rated 18 Feb 2011
paxtonPaxton
Rated 16 Mar 2014
33
5th
I saw this at an outdoor theater coupled with Transformers 2. After the second movie was rolling credits we collectively got out of our vehicles and formed a circle. We joined hands and even as strangers made a pact to never speak of what had happened. I've kept my silence until now. In all honesty though, I overpaid for the box of skittles.
Rated 16 Mar 2014
fuckeroofuckeroo
Rated 24 Jun 2010
86
42nd
I remember my younger brother and i yelling "SNAKE EYES!" as he jumped, no wait, DOVE, out of a chopper into battle. It touched my childhood soft spot. There were some weak points. But in the end it played out good. YO JOE!
Rated 24 Jun 2010
teknicolorteknicolor
Rated 11 Sep 2009
22
11th
Didn't even keep my attention long enough to remember the character's names. Maybe if I was a fan of the comic? Cobra Commander was the only one I remembered.
Rated 11 Sep 2009
indyatmnINDYATMN
Rated 10 Aug 2009
40
3rd
The good: should keep the 15 & under crowd distracted (if not necessarily entertained) for 2 hours; Sienna Miller's outfits r very pleasing 2 the fetish community; the screen time given 2 the faceless "accelerator suits" is kept 2 a minimum; & kudos 2 Eccleston 4 managing 2 make a decent villain despite some of the worst dialogue & characterization this side of George Lucas' last 3 Star Wars flicks. The bad: EVERYTHING else. The ugly: so bad a sequel isn't inevitable, but still likely.
Rated 10 Aug 2009
anomalyAnomaly
Rated 04 Apr 2012
42
13th
As an action movie, it's pretty poor. However, as so-bad-it's-good entertainment, it's quite fun. Bad CGI, over the top action sequences, bizarre one-liners, and a random critical darling (Gordon-Levitt) hamming it up adds to the insane cheesiness. Sommers obviously took what should have been a loose, fun summer action flick way too seriously, landing it squarely in camp territory.
Rated 04 Apr 2012
peaceanarchyPeaceAnarchy
Rated 03 Oct 2009
71
29th
Going in with zero expectations this was a reasonably entertaining action movie. It's ridiculous but it's fast paced and doesn't take itself seriously.
Rated 03 Oct 2009
hellboy76hellboy76
Rated 23 Sep 2010
43
12th
Boring, silly film. Makes the animated film from the 80's look fantastic. It really seems as if a standard crap action movie that was already wirtten and someone wrote in a few JOE character names.
Rated 23 Sep 2010
kmcneilKMcNeil
Rated 01 Oct 2009
4
33rd
What did this cost? 10 grand? The CGI was amazingly bad. And the acting was terrible: Why does Hollywood insist on cramming awful actors like Tatum and Wayans down our throats? Still. I couldn't help but love a couple of the über-cheesy, über-ridiculous action sequences. The reasoning by the producers was probably along the lines of: "Let's dress people up in silly costumes and blow everything up... and then, uhm, sprinkle it with a few extra explosions and some even more silly costumes!"
Rated 01 Oct 2009
bojanglesBojangles
Rated 31 Jul 2010
15
3rd
My little brother: getting me to watch shitty hollywood action movies for over a decade. thx man. Nice message; the military industrial complex can better run the world than elected officials and diplomats. A fascist pile of poopy. Explosion fatigue/numbness kicks in after about 20 minutes. Can't say enough bad things really...
Rated 31 Jul 2010
velvet_croweVelvet Crowe
Rated 09 Jul 2011
30
23rd
This was a serious chore to watch. The movie tries to be clever by inserting in a bunch of GI Joe references everyone would recognize but this comes off more as grating and idiotic than it is clever as the movie is naturally cliche as all hell. The casting is pretty god awful as well, who in the hell in their right mind thinks that it was good idea to hire Marlon Wayans for this movie? The action, which would be the movies saving grace, is also poor and forgettable mired with bad special effects
Rated 09 Jul 2011
mjvmoviemanMJVmovieMan
Rated 13 Aug 2009
25
4th
This is cheesy, roll-your-eyes at material. The action is nonstop and it doesn't matter. The movie is embarrassing in every area from start to finish. The acting is terrible, the dialogue is terrible, the plot is terrible, the special effects vary from awful to decent. I would've loved this movie at six years old, but the fact that I'm not anymore means that it's just plain awful, and it really is that bad.
Rated 13 Aug 2009
miss_jesusmiss jesus
Rated 30 Nov 2009
14
2nd
Fearlessly exhibiting almost everything that a movie can do wrong.
Rated 30 Nov 2009
miltvuurmiltvuur
Rated 26 Jun 2010
20
6th
It's terrible, but kind of cool in a nostalgic way.
Rated 26 Jun 2010
moraesfelipemoraesfelipe
Rated 05 Feb 2011
32
7th
Ok, this is immensely bad. But I loved the red Joe.
Rated 05 Feb 2011
cinemaasiaCinema_Asia
Rated 15 Jan 2010
50
12th
The one bright spot in this movie is Byung-Hun Lee and Ray Park as the memorable Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. Unfortunately they still receive way too little screen time and we get lots of Marlon Wayans cracking dumb jokes at the camera. The entire movie looks like it was pieced together by Hollywood producers who wrote ad libs directed by the hack Stephen Sommers. The CGI is also hilarious at times and is worse than what you would see in a game like Call of Duty Modern Warfare.
Rated 15 Jan 2010
mentaculusMentaculus
Rated 29 Aug 2009
41
16th
I have a feeling I would enjoy the film more if I were ADHD and taking antidepressants for my unrelenting sense of self-loathing. Tatum (the world's most baffling A-lister) and Quaid seem confused most of the time, and ruin the experience. Sienna Miller can't walk in heels (and if you're going to do it at the North Pole, you better be pretty damned impressive). And the characters' motivations were terrible. The one positive: I want a sequel so I can see more Levitt rightfully hamming it.
Rated 29 Aug 2009
barthalenBarthalen
Rated 29 Apr 2013
31
15th
I truly believe that every element in this movie is actually a metaphor for something, and it might seem a ridiculous CGI-actioncheese-fest on the surface, but all the metaphors combined tackle some extremely complex issues regarding the human condition and the universe we exist in. I just haven't been able to properly deciper the True Meaning of it all. Yes, I am afraid I might be too dumb to réally understand the G.I. Joe movie.
Rated 29 Apr 2013
joseywalesjoseywales
Rated 20 Aug 2009
66
46th
Cinematic mayhem!
Rated 20 Aug 2009
rossRoss
Rated 19 Aug 2009
60
57th
Entertaining stupid fun.
Rated 19 Aug 2009
billyshearsBillyShears
Rated 08 Nov 2009
45
15th
For a summer action movie this was really boring. Did not care at all.
Rated 08 Nov 2009
caocaocaocao
Rated 19 Nov 2009
22
3rd
What do you get when a movie's only attempt is to be cool and fails? This pile of garbage. One of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. Being an action movie does not make it ok to suck. Why the hell is the CGI so bad and over used? Stephen Sommers is undeniably in Michael Bay's class.
Rated 19 Nov 2009
spleenspleen
Rated 21 Feb 2012
76
56th
Ok I can understand this not getting good reviews. It's a movie directed by Stephen Sommers about a toy line and stars Channing Tatum (neither one of whose names are actually names). But it's not Michael Bay-bad. In fact some parts are fairly entertaining. Kind of the cinematic equivalent to going to Taco Bell, ordering a number three meal and being pleasantly surprised it didn't lead to intestinal destruction and ten hours of making a run for the border.
Rated 21 Feb 2012
johnshaftjohnshaft
Rated 16 Aug 2009
56
20th
A cheese-fest that is well-directed, has a few surprisingly good performances, and has some campy fun, but still suffers from goofy writing, being too long, and also having several not-so-good performances.
Rated 16 Aug 2009
maakalmaakal
Rated 22 Apr 2011
50
9th
Not as bad as most people pretended, but still
Rated 22 Apr 2011
poseur117Poseur117
Rated 03 Dec 2009
69
33rd
Great for what it is, but that's still just popcorn munching eye candy.
Rated 03 Dec 2009
damildamil
Rated 25 Apr 2013
45
17th
I was expecting a lot of dumb action and bad dialogue, but I was kind of expecting to enjoy that. But man, this movie is so goddamn stupid. To me, it was just boring. All the performances were bad, except for perhaps Gordon-Levitt's. The CGI was sometimes okay, sometimes absolutely awful, and sometimes so ridiculous that it was kinda awesome. I don't even really know what happened in the film now, because it just didn't make me care enough to pay attention. I can't really recommend it.
Rated 25 Apr 2013
matthew_parkinsonMatthew Parkinson
Rated 29 Dec 2013
40
31st
Taken as a pure action film, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a fun movie. It's paced very well, it has some inventive and creative scenes, and it has enough characters to ensure that the fights are rarely the same. However, if you look past the pure "fun" aspect, you'll notice a severely lacking script, too many characters to pay attention to or develop, actors who don't seem to care a whole lot, special effects that are often lacking, and a film that works best as background noise.
Rated 29 Dec 2013
imhiilmejohnImHiilmeJohn
Rated 04 Jun 2020
68
31st
Americans saved the world again!
Rated 04 Jun 2020
aiferrificAiferrific
Rated 12 Feb 2010
45
35th
So-so cheesefest, saved from a lower score by Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow (especially that fight in the kitchen).
Rated 12 Feb 2010
sentry04Sentry04
Rated 06 Mar 2010
55
12th
It was BAD! Did they even have a military consultant? Who ever wrote the story and screen play should be shot, brought back to life, then shot again! for destroying something this bad that I enjoyed as a child. I'd rather watch the cartoon movie again than this POS. Do they think their audiences are uneducated idiots? Even the CGI wasn't that great.
Rated 06 Mar 2010
cinematicespCinematicESP
Rated 10 Aug 2009
80
52nd
Better than you expect. Like Sommers' Mummy movies, it's over the top, funny and highly entertaining. The action scenes are among the most fun I've seen in a while. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is awesome.
Rated 10 Aug 2009
judsonladyjudsonlady
Rated 22 Oct 2012
75
90th
Great action sequences and an ending that leaves you begging for more in a stunning cliffhanger.
Rated 22 Oct 2012
fudgiebfudgieb
Rated 20 Aug 2009
87
62nd
A die hard Joe junkie growing up, I told myself before I saw it that I would love it. I did. The acting was pretty top notch (except for Duke's white-thug accent and the lack of an accent for The Baroness!?!). The action was superb if a little cheesy and the backstory provided for Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow was interesting. If you are a fan of Snake Eyes, see this film, because he was presented perfectly.
Rated 20 Aug 2009
herbert_ederHerbert Eder
Rated 26 Aug 2009
55
30th
Not much hope for a movie based on action figures with a plot where some madmen strive for world domination. But director Stephen Sommers delivers a surprise - a guilty pleasure, but as much fan as you can expect from a mindless action flick.
Rated 26 Aug 2009
glumpy99glumpy_99
Rated 19 Apr 2022
78
55th
Hyperkinetic action film marks Sommers’ most galvanising and exciting action film to date – like one of the mid-tier MISSION IMPOSSIBLEs, this is really just three or four good action sequences clumsily tied together with baffling exposition, but the excitement of the action (especially the Paris-set showstopper) and a fun cast leaning in to the silly (Miller’s catty, bitchy villain is a standout) makes the forward momentum powerful enough to forgive the flaws.
Rated 19 Apr 2022
pigletPiglet
Rated 20 Oct 2009
35
6th
ruuuuuuubbbish
Rated 20 Oct 2009
aliyaliy
Rated 01 Oct 2010
84
22nd
good
Rated 01 Oct 2010
simhoopsimhoop
Rated 16 Oct 2022
50
28th
I just watched the dumbest movie ever made. Unfortunately, I also was born in the early 80's so I was a GI Joe fan as a kid and enjoyed seeing those characters in a live action movie. Still ... what's up with the robot mech suits? And shouldn't Baroness be German (or Austrian)?
Rated 16 Oct 2022
overratedoverrated
Rated 11 Jan 2011
32
23rd
Compared to Bay's Transformers, this is harmless. JGL slums epically.
Rated 11 Jan 2011
sweekodenSweekoden
Rated 10 Sep 2016
57
40th
I probably would've disliked it had I had my eyes glued to the screen for the full two hours, especially since the scenes I did watch seemed strangely disorienting at times. As background noise while doing homework, however, it worked like a charm. Some of the big explosions were fine, but I was kinda surprised by how bad a lot of the stuff looked. Even the plane that they got out of--meaning, I'm guessing, that it was not actually bad CG, but a real plane--looked off somehow.
Rated 10 Sep 2016
letskillrobotsletskillrobots
Rated 20 Aug 2009
16
45th
Why was Fraser in this again?
Rated 20 Aug 2009
cmonsterCMonster
Rated 24 Mar 2011
30
12th
This is the type of movie you wait to see in theaters till everyone has seen it and there are only a few people there. Then you can be noisy by laughing and mocking it. It was a piece of shit, but worth every penny of my 8 bucks.
Rated 24 Mar 2011
groovysoulsGroovy_Souls
Rated 23 Nov 2014
25
9th
Yep, unfortunately this was really bad. Tatum should stick to comedies in my opinion because him and Wayans were awful. Along with most of the other cast as well. The story was plot-hole ridden, and the action was cheesy CGI. All of my nostalgia for the franchise was thrown out the window.
Rated 23 Nov 2014
nick_hamdenNick Hamden
Rated 03 Jun 2013
20
3rd
Wow, fuck this movie so hard. It was bad from start to finish.
Rated 03 Jun 2013
theshmotheshmo
Rated 14 Aug 2009
68
25th
Pure mindless entertainment that wasn't even that entertaining. The action could have been better and the film had too much CG in every scene. Duke and Ripcord annoyed me. The only real good aspect of the film was the hilarious acting of Dennis Quaid. I hope his acting was deliberate.
Rated 14 Aug 2009
pruznejjoepruznejjoe
Rated 11 Sep 2009
70
11th
I like action movies but this is too much even for me. I falled asleep during the final part.
Rated 11 Sep 2009
halfangHalfang
Rated 11 Sep 2011
60
6th
It was ok-ish, but then a bit awful.
Rated 11 Sep 2011
kelvin1234kelvin1234
Rated 25 Feb 2015
65
12th
To predictable
Rated 25 Feb 2015
hakkanarejohakkanarejo
Rated 19 Aug 2015
95
63rd
Directed by Stephen Sommers , G.I. Joe revolves around the story of McCullen (Christopher Eccleston), a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer and his weaponized nanotechnology, which when deployed can eat away an entire city much. On the side of the good guys is the international military unit known as G.I. Joe, a unit with every technology at their disposal. Why does the team's ninja still fight with swords when they have all this technology? I have no idea, but you decide it.
Rated 19 Aug 2015
muutanetmuutanet
Rated 05 Nov 2009
24
18th
Horrible CGI. Terrible story. Was there story? It was like following a game, but I think that was the idea. Extra points for a couple of hot chicks in hot skintight suits. Otherwise it would not get even that much of points.
Rated 05 Nov 2009
mausMaus
Rated 10 Mar 2010
5
0th
As much as I loved the animated series, the comics and the toyline, this pretty much sucked. I couldn't bare to sit the whole thing out. Major dissapointment. Not worth my time.
Rated 10 Mar 2010
kavuKavu
Rated 04 Oct 2009
23
8th
I expected decent mindless action but it couldn't deliver. How could they fuck up Snake Eyes so badly?
Rated 04 Oct 2009
myfajahas400myfajahas400
Rated 17 Apr 2011
2
1st
Yeeeccchhh.
Rated 17 Apr 2011
teeceeteecee
Rated 21 Mar 2010
25
25th
Håbløs film, ganske uvedkommende og ligegyldig - men med enkelte gode actionscener - det bliver bare for meget og kvalmende amerikansk. Masser af krom, ingen bil under...
Rated 21 Mar 2010
enantoielEnantoiel
Rated 23 Jan 2010
10
4th
Simply, don't bother if you have no way of fast forwarding during watch, even fast fast forwarding.
Rated 23 Jan 2010
menialretconMenialRetcon
Rated 12 Mar 2018
72
47th
The accelerator suits were dumb.
Rated 12 Mar 2018
downbeatdownbeat
Rated 20 Aug 2009
20
1st
The only thing that is interesting about this film is when the Joes get into their robot suits, and the chicks in this film are hot. Everything else sucks about this film. I want my money and 2 hours of my life back.
Rated 20 Aug 2009
justJu_St
Rated 12 Nov 2009
30
13th
what the hell...
Rated 12 Nov 2009
wicheWiche
Rated 16 Dec 2013
37
14th
The self-evidence that every single character displayed handling this new and formidable but crazy difficult technologies irritated the crap out of me. Plus, this script is just a mess, a pile of bad choices and irritating plot twists.
Rated 16 Dec 2013
bookhouseboybookhouseboy
Rated 21 Oct 2013
17
9th
There are very few moments of cool and fun here, in between lots of nada and numb. *Preview*: #13#, re-2*, popcorn, pre-sequel, oldies(2), R1 }*{ #09#, popcorn, hype, story, (actresses).
Rated 21 Oct 2013
luna6ixLuna6ix
Rated 27 Sep 2010
67
27th
This one came way out of left field. It's a terribly mediocre action flick that has nothing to do with "GI Joe" and hardly even makes sense. Shame on you Hollywood, for raking in all the 80's kids with this nonsensical piece of junk.
Rated 27 Sep 2010
astrakhanastrakhan
Rated 09 Nov 2009
73
28th
Lower your expectations. The movie is noisy and messy with some big flaws (mute characters with no face are not worth of 1 second of screen time!), but it was easy enough to suspend my disbelief and just go along with the proposed menu of sexy women, futuristic technology and cartoonish violence. That Wayans kid actually didn't do a bad job!
Rated 09 Nov 2009
burblesporkburblespork
Rated 21 Aug 2009
55
25th
So as a movie, it was absolutely terrible. But for entertainment purposes, it was absolutely hilarious. So bad, so cheesy, so pointless, so futilely serious, that I completely enjoyed myself. Other theatergoers probably hated me since I kept laughing throughout parts that were meant to be entirely serious.
Rated 21 Aug 2009
zealot185Zealot185
Rated 09 Nov 2009
22
5th
The plot sucks, the dialogue is mind-numbingly retarded, the action is repetitive, and Channing Tatum is one of the most wooden actors I've ever seen. Mainly though, I'm disappointed that Snowjob didn't make a cameo despite the latter portion of the film taking place in the fucking ARCTIC!
Rated 09 Nov 2009
mojojojoMojo_Jojo
Rated 07 Dec 2009
37
21st
The strangest part here is that it makes sense. There's a story which is actually logically self-consistent. I did not expect that and I do not know how to feel.
Rated 07 Dec 2009
lookjabbaLookJabba...
Rated 15 Aug 2014
2
7th
G.I. Joe was never going to be a decent film and unsurprisingly it is awful. When the source material is toy action figures then what hope is there really for a viable film. People old enough to remember G.I. Joe won't like this film and realistically it doesn't need to be reintroduced to a new audience. Especially when you consider the competition of the Transformers films for example. Which are also awful. It's style over substance that amounts to nothing. Let's see how many sequels we get.
Rated 15 Aug 2014
stevensydanStevensydan
Rated 18 Dec 2014
60
10th
Weak story. Cool action.
Rated 18 Dec 2014
m3tanm3tan
Rated 02 May 2014
5
3rd
When the source material is awful, there's really only one direction to go. Oh, why can't the adapt Robotech or Star Blazers!!!
Rated 02 May 2014
evilmangoesEvilMangoes
Rated 05 Dec 2015
45
20th
C-
Rated 05 Dec 2015
thegrayghostthegrayghost
Rated 06 Jan 2010
0
6th
I couldn't make it past the first fifteen minutes.
Rated 06 Jan 2010
zayankZayanK
Rated 24 Feb 2010
6
5th
So you thought Hollywood had reached its lowest possible point with Transformers, eh? Think again.
Rated 24 Feb 2010
clark_novaClark Nova
Rated 28 Aug 2018
85
54th
Take a moment to appreciate the Brendan Fraser cameo. That fleeting moment before his entire life went to shit.
Rated 28 Aug 2018
woodoowoodoo
Rated 13 Nov 2014
25
4th
It's few thrills are the cavalier total destruction of London via kinetic bombardment and a random RZA cameo. Correctly treats Snake Eyes like the chump that he is.
Rated 13 Nov 2014
cruelclowncruelclown
Rated 24 Oct 2009
25
4th
Horrible.
Rated 24 Oct 2009
radresRadres
Rated 19 Dec 2009
48
15th
It's bad, but not as bad as Revenge of the Fallen.That's certainly not saying much but oh boy, what a disaster that one was....
Rated 19 Dec 2009
madmanMadMan
Rated 20 Jan 2022
54
9th
Might be the dumbest movie I've seen in a while. I didn't hate it, though.
Rated 20 Jan 2022
stflyst_fly
Rated 02 Oct 2009
5
12th
Crap. More like G.I. POO. I guarantee by the end of the movie, you'll feel dumb for sitting through this heaping pile of crap. Only recommended if you're 7 and your parents don't know you're gonna watch it.
Rated 02 Oct 2009
philamentalphilamental
Rated 25 Aug 2019
69
55th
The acting is universally dreadful here and the low budget production values are frequently distracting, but there's a lot of OTT action fun to be had here with the Paris scene a surprisingly excellent sequence.
Rated 25 Aug 2019
davidblastDavidBlast
Rated 20 May 2010
30
13th
Horrendous acting, cartoonish action sequences and a seriously childish plot. I didn't have the toys, in case you haven't guessed.
Rated 20 May 2010
doctor7doctor7
Rated 24 Aug 2009
42
25th
Though the movie is stupid and ridiculous and the characters have some of the shallowest and most cringe-induction motivations ever presented on film I can't honestly say that Rise of the Cobra is a bad film. It's certainly not good but I have to grudgingly admit the action makes for an entertaining watch for the first time. Lord knows I certainly wouldn't want to see this more than once though.
Rated 24 Aug 2009
mufy_mufafaMufy Mufafa
Rated 26 Jun 2010
9
55th
Final Rating: 9/100 (F) - This movie is reserved for the brainless only. With thin dialogue and a gunshot every two minutes, this movie totally insults my exceedingly high intelligence.
Rated 26 Jun 2010
torontodogtorontodog
Rated 25 Aug 2009
50
24th
About as much of a 50 as I have ever seen. Pretty bad acting and cheesy story on the one hand, but on the other hand, it delivers GI Joes shooting and fighting as promised. Let's say it falls between the complete garbage of Transformers and the unexpected high quality of Star Trek, for an equal mix of both of those other 09 blockbusters.
Rated 25 Aug 2009
nikrustynikrusty
Rated 12 Oct 2009
70
11th
Decent action flick, though Baroness story line nonsense was just plain silly
Rated 12 Oct 2009
naurunauru
Rated 03 Oct 2009
39
30th
Just watch the awesome chase through Paris and then turn it off.
Rated 03 Oct 2009
sienceSience
Rated 05 Sep 2011
0
1st
Words cannot describe how utterly awful this film is. If Criticker did negative ratings this would get them.
Rated 05 Sep 2011
glm01glm01
Rated 31 Oct 2016
54
14th
54.000
Rated 31 Oct 2016
micahmicah
Rated 28 Oct 2009
52
20th
A tepid action blockbuster with the requisite number of explosions and bullets, along with the required bad acting and stupid script.
Rated 28 Oct 2009
tinythedoggtinythedogg
Rated 30 Nov 2009
50
33rd
I think I'm being kind of generous with this score. Snake Eyes, my favorite character of the series should have been as bad ass as Wolverine. That character if any had the potential and it was dropped. It was alright, but it could have been better. And couldn't they get better actors for some of these roles. Marlon Wayans? Sorry, funny guy, but not here and they tried. And what was Brendan Fraser doing in this movie for just seconds? Awesome special effects and alright action, but blah.
Rated 30 Nov 2009
tripwyreTripwyre
Rated 08 Aug 2009
52
31st
It's stupid and ridiculous, but then, I knew it would be when I bought the ticket. It's a G.I. JOE film, and does a good job of capturing the spirit of what kids dream up when they play with action figures. Of course, this is both a strength and a weakness, as my inner child was lapping it up but my adult mind was bored, and occasionally insulted. It is quite funny though. I couldn't stop laughing during the ninja flashbacks. Also: LOL@Brendan Fraser. Weak ending. Sienna Miller has nice boobies.
Rated 08 Aug 2009
dakota99Dakota99
Rated 19 Nov 2017
5
43rd
G.I Joe is a colossal, yet fun mess of a movie. Wether that was an over-arching villian, to laughably bad acting at times, to some okay CGI, Rise of Cobra missed what made the old show so popular, yet while targeting the same audience, but it's fair to wonder if that's ultimately what's the downfall of this movie, as anything based of an action figure toy line. If you can look past all the issues, G.I Joe is watchable. However, it clearly wasn't meant for the big screen quite yet.
Rated 19 Nov 2017
lpelliottlpelliott
Rated 09 Aug 2009
68
23rd
Almost every single tired action movie cliche is present in the one. The plot is simple and easy to predict and the dialogue is cheesy. The only thing it really had going for it was some OK special effects and fight scenes, and the fact that I played with the toys as a kid so my opinion is slightly biased from seeing Snake Eyes and Stormshadow in the flesh. Though I wasn't completely pleased with how they were handled either.
Rated 09 Aug 2009
eric_janeric-jan
Rated 04 Oct 2009
55
6th
Great action, horrible acting.
Rated 04 Oct 2009
ytadelYtadel
Rated 08 Aug 2009
4
43rd
It's artistically useless, filled with terrible dialogue and "comedy," and I remain unsold on Channing Tatum as a movie star. But as a live-action cartoon, it achieves its modest goals. The action scenes are more varied than the monotonous robot fights in Transformers 2, and I enjoyed the ninjas, the robosuits, Sienna Miller's cleavage, and especially Joseph Gordon-Levitt's ludicrously over-the-top Darth Vader-alike villain.
Rated 08 Aug 2009
spaceflohspacefloh
Rated 01 Feb 2010
62
69th
eng; [G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra]; vier taktische nanosprengköpfe der waffenfirma mars werden gestohlen, mit ihnen will eine geheimorganisation die weltherrschaft hohlen - die GIs halten dagegen.; (si-fi mit verherrlichung für traditionelles militär);
Rated 01 Feb 2010

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