Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

I'm beginning to question Linnea Quigley's squeaky clean family image. --- That review just barely beat out: I'm beginning to question Michelle Bauer's squeaky clean family image.

A private dick searching for a runaway girl gets mixed up with a group of psychotic prostitutes carving their way through LA. There's plenty of tits and comical gore, plus the parody-noir script has tons of cheesy lines, including the doozy: "What is this, some ancient chainsaw worshiping cult?" And who could forget Linnea Quigley and her classic topless Dance of the Double Chainsaw?

'The virgin dance of the double chainsaws.' Lay-over cheering stadium audio to fill for a room with 8 people in it. This entire film is perfectly seedy, from production, to script to the inundation of stripper tits. And it all comes together. It's not a nice experience, but it's consistent, if not cheeky.

Trying to come up with a review here that doesn't have me come off as some pervert and what exactly are YOU doing here reading mini reviews for a movie called Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers - like Pieces it's exactly what you think it is.

Fred Olen Ray provides a fun trashy horror/comedy in the form of this noir parody. After a quick glance at the poster or reading the synopsis, the movie delivers exactly what it promises. For a tiny sample taste of the kinda B-movie fun you're in for, search for a clip of "the virgin dance of the double chainsaws", and maybe go from there, if for some strange reason the title and poster alone didn't sell you on watching this movie.

This sounds so perfect! Sadly, it's utter jobbies.

Bad

Horrible trash, very poorly made and pointless.

Despite the title, plot, and copious nudity this is almost gentle, with an amusingly consistent dry tone and almost no gore to speak of. Just a goofy little noir parody with a naked hooker chainsaw fight after a naked double-chainsaw striptease-slash-chainsaw cult death ritual.

You do wonder sometimes about our ability to watch these movies that were made to be watched like 4 times (and mostly just rewinding and pausing on the nudity) and then put in the back of the video store forever. Still tho not the worst of the 80’s horror genre melds

How is this not horrible? I guess the point is that it really isn't. Part noir-parody & part horror-comedy, this is shockingly well written & decently acted- it also features OG Leatherface Gunnar Hansen in a very meta role of chainsaw-worshiping cult leader. There's plenty of nudity, of course, but the emphasis is mostly on story, which was a pleasant surprise. As for said story, it's very self-aware & honestly not bad- in a silly B movie way. This is by no means perfect, but it's worth a look.

42.500