I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House

I Was The Bored Thing Sitting On The Couch

I am the bored forty-something cynic writing a review for a boring movie that attempts to frighten its audience by pointing the camera at dark rooms for extended periods of time, ultimately revealing nothing but a dark room--The Movie.

Some awesome direction and cinematography can't save a half-baked script. Sure, there's some tension here and there, but honestly this film acts as more of an art house film than a horror or thriller. Not only do I find it hard to recommend, I'll probably have trouble remembering it in a couple days.

Fuck you Conjuring, this is how you do a modern-70s-New-England-Haunted-House-Horror-Flick. I guess I'm in the minority, but I loved it. It might be style over substance, but I dig Osgood's style.

I like perkins' slow, pondering style, but you gotta juxtapose it with something frantic every so often for any sort of effect. He managed that with 'the blackcoats daughter', which also had the far superior narrative. This just slogs around and ends, leaving no interest to deepen the understanding of any implications made. Oh yeah, and it's not scary. Should mention that with a horror movie.

I like horror movies that are slowly creepy and don't rely on cheap jump scares, but the pace of this one just dragged too much. Some nice ideas and scenes, but so very boring.

Viewed January 4, 2016. It doesn't take Osgood Perkins long to establish a creepy and compelling atmosphere (New England townhouse, impossibly clean and polished, like no one really lives there), and his approach to storytelling is rather unique within the modern horror landscape, slowly and carefully weaving together its two disparate story threads. The restraint is initially admirable, but it doesn't take long to wish something more would happen, just once.

The title promises more than the story delivers. It is a pretty fine title though...

Quiet and slow moving. Still, a good ghost story.

for slow horror poetry its a best for ones who get it

OK, so a little less substance than Blackcoat, but still, most others really didnt' like it, but it's still got an amazing slow burn flow to it. So I liked it, and recommend it. If you embranced TBD from Oz, you'll embrace this!

I was excited to see a Netflix original come up in my horror recommendations. Twenty minutes in and I was bored witless; by the end of the film I was simply disappointed. Some interesting devices are made use of, and many of this films issues might have been solved with no change but a better lead actress, but it was a very dull, very uninspiring film - and by no means would I have classified it as scary, creepy or anything of the type.

I'm sad to have found this film so taxing. I appreciate a lot of what was attempted.

Dull, boring, slow and tedious, much like the central performance.

Normally, I like to watch Ruth Wilson, but I was entirely bored and unimpressed with this movie. The annoying narration and lethargic pace was incredibly boring. It has perhaps 10 minutes worth watching but the rest of it leaves you so affectless that you can't enjoy them. Terrible direction, writing and editing.

Booooooooooooooriiiing...

bad movie

So boring and forgettable that I started it in Aug fell asleep and it took till Feb for me to finish it. Even in two sittings its boring. And the narration is pretentious blahblahblah, horror is more classical in nature and I dug that.fear of being alone in a strange dark place with a strange dark secret rather than fear of scary faces popping out with too loud string bursts.sound is perfect and use of strings fit in rather than attacking you.setup to be AMAZING but tread too softly in its pace.

This movie took its title too seriously; it tried too hard to look pretty and wasn't very scary or exciting as a consequence. Although some scenes did make me feel tense because I anticipated a scare, it never really delivered. The story is mediocre, the ghost element is boring and the main character just plain weird most of the time. It didn't make me care about her, so I wasn't scared for her either. Sad, I think it had much more potential.

Style over substance that really didn't do it for me

I Am The Pretty Movie That Lacks Fulfillment

A fairly standard haunted house story, with a very low budget feel, but lifted by a nicely claustrophobic mood and willingness to not follow the usual narrative. The last 20 minutes tries to go full 2001 Kubrick, with not-bad-at-all result. Promising effort from Tony Jr.