Machete (2010)

Probable Score

Not Enough Info

Your Score

(0 - 100)

After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.

More Information and Actions

Cast and Information

Directed By: Robert Rodriguez, Ethan Maniquis

Written By: Robert Rodriguez, Álvaro Rodríguez

Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal, Shea Whigham, Don Johnson, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Nimród Antal, Electra Avellan, Cheryl Chin

Genres: Drama, Suspense/Thriller, Crime, Action

Franchises: Machete, Spy Kids

Country: USA

Stream it now

Invalid Trailer

Ratings

Collections

Stats

Loading...
loading

Machete belongs to 27 collections

1. boobs (collaborative: moderated by Pickpocket - 53 stars)

2. Vigilante / Revenge (collaborative: moderated by td888 - 13 stars)

3. Films available in HD (collaborative: moderated by kubricksucks - 12 stars)

4. Orange & Teal (collaborative: moderated by shalev - 5 stars)

5. Filmsite.org - Sex in the Movies, An Illustrated History (collaborative: moderated by afx237vi - 5 stars)

6. Top 3000 movies with the most votes on IMDb (public: fanfic - 5 stars)

7. Directed collaboratively (collaborative: moderated by djross - 3 stars)

8. Top 1000 movies with the most votes on IMDb (public: fanfic - 3 stars)

9. Female Shower Scene (collaborative - 2 stars)

10. Character name in title (collaborative: moderated by Pickpocket - 2 stars)

11. Neo-grindhouse (collaborative: moderated by edkrak - 2 stars)

12. Has a sequel (collaborative: moderated by andr - 2 stars)

13. Timeout's 100 Best Action Movies (public: horrorjames - 2 stars)

14. Top 2000 movies with the most votes on IMDb (public: fanfic - 2 stars)

15. Texas (collaborative: moderated by Pickpocket - 1 star)

16. Eligible for Academy Award Best Picture 2010 (collaborative: moderated by Ross - 1 star)

17. Duology (collaborative: moderated by Ag0stoMesmer - 1 star)

18. film puanlamalarım (collaborative - 1 star)

19. Reza Archive (public: reza899 - 1 star)

20. films with the film title in the script (collaborative: moderated by Jellysauce)

21. IMDB Ratings (collaborative: moderated by notyou)

22. My Blu-rays (public: Kavu)

23. 2010: Year in Review (public: polanski28)

24. My Movies (public: Thilerion)

25. saw in theater (public: ribcage)

26. Tom's Movies (public: tomwalsh)

27. My Movie Collection (public: elhenzo)

Browse the full list of collections

Show:

All Ratings | With Reviews

Order by:

TCI | Percentile | Date Rated | # Stars (Reviews)

Stars	User	Rating
8	SpookyMask	80 _85th
I heard this movie described as "the next Shawshank Redemption." I may have been the one who said that, but it doesn't make it any less true. Even though it's not true. Regardless of how true the first statement is, this is one bad ass movie.
7	Pickpocket	4 _35th
Some pretty funny moments but it has some really bad pacing issues for an action film. About what I expected it to be but it still wasn't that great. The political undertones were so dumb and pretty much any scene without Trejo or Seagal felt like a waste of time. The great opening scene can't match the rest of the film, sadly.
6	omgfridge	1 _8th
What the hell happened? I loved Grindhouse/The El Mariachi trilogy yet Rodriguez here just gives the viewer a joyless incoherent film. It was boring, unfunny and poor in every aspect. B movies with their cheesy editing and dialogue should be entertaining, this was just dreadful to sit through. Even the action sequences felt unimaginative and pathetic. Political theme was distracting to the extent of nausea and not one actor was fun to watch. Fuck this garbage.
5	KasperL	30 _10th
Some people are effortlessly cool. Steven Seagal isn't one of them. Jeff Fahey is. Some movies are so bad they're good. Some directors try to emulate this and succeed. Rodriguez doesn't. To his credit, he does know how to shoot chicks. His film starts out being moderately fun, quickly growing progressively more terrible. The last act is genuinely horrible. Also points off for the pronunciations of Machete.
5	ewp805	86 _89th
YES. I've been waiting for this since the fake trailer in '07, and I was not disappointed. More solid Grindhouse fun from Rodriguez à la Planet Terror.
4	KMcNeil	6 _56th
"Blood of Christ. Tastes like merlot to me." Way, way, way over the top exploitation spoof that picks up, where "Planet Terror" left off with gallons of fake blood, bad one-liners, hot women and a ridiculously contrived plot involving Lindsay Lohan waking up drugged and dressing up like a nun, De Niro being electrocuted by a fence, nurses going postal with uzis - and a bunch of other stuff. It's pure escapism littered with references. Also: Intestine-jumping! It's the new craze. Mark my words.
3	slidercc	95 _96th
One of the most "fun" movies you will ever watch. Everything about it was perfect. Its a great throwback. The only people who wouldn't like this film are racist conservatives who are mad that it makes a mockery of the hate speech they spew on a daily basis.
3	BillyShears	50 _21st
Boobies woooo, the middle act felt weird and draggggggggggggggged. They could've done so much more with this premise to make it even more ridiculous, you have Steven Seagal for fudge sakes, but they spent a lot of time on a "whatever" revolution race plot.
3	NathanDarko	88 _70th
Machete is the most brutal and gory grindhouse release . But Machete is more, it's full of innuendos and cynical moments. (De Niro as a racist Senator who steals a taxi-cab ?!?) Everyone who was waiting for this since Rodriguez fake trailer will be pleased after this release i think. Trejo makes a very good job and all the other actors are good, too ( Don Johnson is my favorite). So what's next? YEAH, Werewolf women of the SS!!!!
2	doctor7	60 _38th
Machete worked swimmingly as a trailer because it never lost any steam. However when the gag of the over-the-top blade-wielding Mexican renegade runs out the movie drags. Really the first 5 minutes or so of this movie are stupendous. Then there's a hour long lull before it finally picks up again during the finale.
2	djross	40 _26th
Now I know what Lindsay Lohan looks like.
2	Kavu	84 _83rd
I was a bit disappointed in the script, but otherwise Rodriguez delivers exactly what the faux-trailer promised. Girls, guns and gore.
2	PeaceAnarchy	76 _47th
Makes no qualms about being over the top and having an inconsistent quality but it still works rather well for the most part.
2	Difontaine	75 _66th
This shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S and I love it. Funny, action packed and I can't stress this enough, fun. See this Quentin? This is what Grindhouse should have been, this and a polished up Planet Terror.
2	Barthalen	79 _77th
Good-natured sleazy action-fun-happy-time. The movie does slow down in spots, but then completely redeems itself again with the kind of over-the-top action you rarely see nowadays. Fun how the movie has 5 different major villains. Great cast, hot women, hilarious improvised weaponry, and more manly than an explosion in a chest-hair factory.
2	Vandelay1	75 _86th
I guess they messed with the wrong Mexican.
2	muzak66	72 _46th
slidercc's review of this movie was TERRIBLE. and Don Johnson played a great American other then that it was an ok movie.
2	astrakhan	76 _43rd
The character of Machete is delightfully badass - killing anything that moves, surviving all sorts of wounds and bedding all the hottest babes. And all the while he looks as ugly as Danny Trejo (the film's greatest in-joke). Rodriguez's imagined world is shambolic and patchy - as is his directing - but the contract he makes is that if you will overlook a bit of stupidity, he will deliver where it counts - in big guns, knives and scantily-clad women. It's frequently silly but it does have heart.
2	mlpgaffney	53 _15th
More like "Meh....Shitty" - This movie only reinforces: the fact that Alba is a shit actress (every time she spoke, especially any Spanish, the audience giggled); DeNiro must have owed someone a big favor; Seagal doesn't make many films any more for a reason; Lohan is a waste of space - even if all she's there for is to show some booby; and Robert Rodriguez needs to stick to filming OTHER PEOPLE'S material. True, it has its moments, but they are few and far, far between.....
2	ZayanK	43 _17th
Machete don't fun.
2	Judge Holden	1 _4th
I just wanted it to end.
1	schnofel	48 _35th
Disreputable by design, it hits all the required bullet points, and counts on the audience's enthusiasm to make them stick.
1	ozymandius10	68 _51st
I really wanted to give this something in the mid 70s (or even low 80s), but damn was it about 30 minutes too long. For the first hour or so the movie was hilarious and fun, but it just got bogged down in the last 20-30 minutes with all of the loose ends to tie up. The good? Trejo, Seagal (he really was unironically great), Fahey, Deniro, and Marin. The bad? Alba's speech, too much Michelle Rodriguez (not bad in the beginning though), and Lindsay Lohan is godawful (even when she's kidding)
1	Tripwyre	68 _56th
Delivers the exact kind of schlocky fun I'd hoped for from The Expendables and failed to receive. Having said that, the movie is almost too self-aware for its own good. It's over-the-top and campy, but Rodriguez goes too far to show he's in on the joke. The performances, particularly those from Trejo, Fahey, Seagal and Savini, are awesomely funny and kick-ass. Literally an expanded trailer, the spliced-in trailer footage only highlights how visually cheap and lacklustre the finished film is.
1	Spunkie	35 _19th
Trejo ftw. Artifacts that cut it short: Rodriguez is still shooting Grindhouse, but bad film look comes in and out as he pleases (contrary to P.Terror), budgetary limitations show, stunts never get to fly high, unnecessary chatter dampens the momentum.
1	shahness	54 _24th
Wildly uneven tone, brutal violence, a fair amount of tits. A fun enough ride, I suppose. Sidenote: All the blood effects in this movie are CG and look like shit, why can't people use squibs anymore?
1	nandorizzi	85 _88th
Or you will hate or love it. I liked the style of the movie, like a movie 70 years, with preposterous action scenes, heads and hands being chopped off and the blood spurting. In fact, sometimes exaggerates in the absurds, could be more serious, or not, maybe this it that let the movie so cool.
1	Bitch Alert	40 _25th
A visually well-made pastiche that can't produce a though of it's own, and inevitably drowns under the pathetic social criticism.
1	tathiel	70 _29th
Somehow my expectations were higher, but it was fun anyway.
1	Delirium9	90 _67th
Yes, it's a cheesefest, yes, it's exploitation, yes, it's got gorgeous women defying gravity by running around in high heels and dubiously falling for the ugly guy... but it's so DAMN entertaining.
1	Langelund (CinemaZone.dk)	35 _19th
Oh well, so much for expecting 'Movie of the Year'... The Machete-trailer was Grindhouse's most memorable part by far, but as a feature piece it loses its coolness at the same speed as the Matrix sequels. Hot chicks though - and that Don Johnson kid got talent.
1	maarten	2 _0th
1 point per pretty girl and 1 point for the Hungarian, nothing else was in it.
1	elmakebabi	54 _28th
I appreciate Rodriguez; but the more time passes, the sillier plot gets!
1	caro-fe	65 _47th
Rodriguez tried to make a Tarantino movie... it failed... the movie in general is 'so so'
1	begoniabol	72 _65th
Yes it's extremely dumb, yes it's extremely stupid and yes it looks (intentionally) cheap, but I had loads of fun watching it. I've experienced many 'man-tranformations' while watching some movies, but never as rapidly during Machete. My beard was over a foot long, and during that end battle, when Trejo is riding a bike, and get's launched away by an explosion, while shooting people with his bike, it grew another mile
1	ABUNCHOFCATS	85 _68th
By far the most fun I've had watching a movie this year. Such a ridiculously over-the-top gorefest with Danny Trejo in his first starring role, this is the movie that should've been in Grindhouse.
1	FunkyAstro	55 _53rd
For the first half of the movie I was excited waiting for something completely over the top and awesome to happen; it never did. I realize this was supposed to be a "bad" movie but it was bad even as far as bad movies go. There were too many characters, not enough exciting moments and the end was just awful. Machete didn't have the epic-ness of Sin City, the cheesyness of Planet Terror nor the hilarity of Dusk Til Dawn. I was stoked for three years but Rodriguez really let me down on this one.
1	Guillaume	52 _10th
Unofficial trailer was awesome, cast is impressive, rest totally misses out on what could've been great fun. Steven Seagal is even the most impressive piece of acting, go figure.
1	FrederikA	65 _59th
A wonderful mess, like most of Rodriguez's movies, and like most of them, the weakest part of Machete is the script (here at an all time low - even for a Grindhouse-spoof). But fuck that! It has Trejo in the lead, blood 'n guts splattering, Lohan without clothes on and Steven Seagal delivering the least convincing death-scene ever. Stupid and incoherent but highly enjoyable.
1	mariane.c	0 _0th
One of the worst movies I've ever seen. I kinda liked Jessica Alba, but, no revolution for me, thank you.
1	forehead1	40 _26th
When did saying "It's a Robert Rodriguez film" become a paraphrase of "Don't bother"? He continues his transition from filmmaker to film student with another well-observed, intentionally-crappy throwback that seems almost wilfully ignorant of the fact such tripe was originally down to severe budget contraints and lack of talent, rather than some smug writer/director winking at the camera for 100 minutes. An expensive replica that isn't funny enough to be a parody, yet adds nothing to the genre.
1	overrated	49 _46th
I liked how Michelle Rodriguez really broke away from type.
1	82588	3 _31st
While it seems to have a problem telegraphing all of it's movements (obvious camera focuses to weaponry to be used in the next scene), most of Machete is so gruesomely over the top and gory that you can't help but laugh.
1	Tjekhov	30 _17th
Great opening scene - whish they had gone with more of that kind of stuff. When you get seriously bored watching stuff like this, and start wondering what your're gonna do for dinner the next day, you know you are wasting valuable seconds of your life.
1	Bunken	50 _37th
Well... Machete is cool, he's mean and he's a killing machine... Thumbs up for the style, and that this movie actually got made from being just a trailer in another movie. But personally I'm not in to the whole bloodorgy kind of movies. It just doesn't give me a hard on!. And the story, even though it is probably on purpose, stinks! Would give it 35, but the last 15 goes out to Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsay Lohan ;-)
1	MArkjp	60 _41st
Compare it to the trailer and it doesn't really seem like it adds value to the 'Machete' concept. Yes, it has some gorgeous shots, but they are all in the trailer. All of them. What the trailer didn't give away, however was how awful Steven Seagal was. One of the worst antagonists in moviemaking history. It's as messy as 'Once upon in time Mexico' but it does still have a number of good scenes. It just has more 'meh' ones. Bottomline: watch the trailer instead (...and wait for 'Machete Kills'?).
1	Matthew Parkinson (CineMarter)	80 _89th
I had a really good time with Machete. It was just too much pure fun to let its political ideas get in the way of how much fun it is. This is a b-movie, an exploitation film, and it's a very good one. It has bad actors, terrible editing and over-the-top action scenes, but it's for these reasons that it's so enjoyable. If it wasn't, then it would easily be a boring watch. But since it's made with such skill, and all of this was intentional, but fun, I had a great time watching Machete.
1	SlantMag	20 _41st
"Robert Rodriguez loves exploitation cinema but his homages to the disreputable genre are defined by italicized self-consciousness that leaves his humor without any room to breathe." - Nick Schager
1	KramYessev	79 _85th
Whilst still thoroughly entertaining throughout, it never reaches the high standards set by the first ten minutes (except maybe the hospital scene, which is quite possibly the most awesome scene ever filmed). Danny Trejo was long overdue for a starring role and the cast is near perfect but Tom Savini could have used a lot more screen time.

Average Percentile 41.88% from 3540 Ratings