On the Town

The opening number (you know the one... "New York, New York, it's a wonderful town!") is fantastic. Unfortunately, it's all downhill from there: flat characters, dated humor, poor pacing, and an awful ending. Not a classic by any stretch.

I'll admit there were a few good laughs, some intentional, others not so much. But in spite of that, and the charm of Sinatra and Kelly, most of the film falls flat. The musical numbers have good ideas behind them but their staging is mixed and every one of them goes on for way too long. The rest of the story is dull and thin, making everything that doesn't bring a laugh groan-worthy. Add in some obvious filler scenes and you get a forgettable film.

“New York, New York” is a brilliant opening number, but had the rest of Bernstein’s original score been used, the film’s music would likely be a great deal more memorable, because Edens’ songs are hopelessly drab. The cast have so little to work with but Betty Garrett still really shines.

When people say they hate musicals, this is exactly the kind of thing they have in mind. Everything is so painfully corny and exaggerated, without any charm. The jokes are bad and the situations are stupid and even the characters aren't very likeable. A few of the songs are decent, but most of them are blah and a couple are even annoying. The dance routines are uninspired. And even with the racy undertones, it's all just so gosh-darned wholesome. An obnoxious and joyless experience.

Bleh.