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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

2017
Comedy, Fantasy
2h 9m
Your probable score
Avg Percentile 29.66% from 1720 total ratings

Ratings & Reviews

(1719)
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Rated 07 Sep 2017
35
9th
Everything that made the first film great is dead. A nonstop barrage of horrendous quips, close up gags, atrocious CGI, Javier Bardem sounds like he's sucking dicks out of a soup bowl, Paul McCartney, and ugh fuck this movie. You shouldn't be bored watching a bank being dragged through a town chased by redcoats but here we are, lifeless garbage. The only thing this had going for it was new girls heaving bosom game was strong.
Rated 30 May 2017
2
14th
This all just feels kind of lame now. I'm sad to say it - I freakin' LOVED the original PotC back in 2003 in high school; watched it twice in theaters and so many times on DVD after I could quote half the movie - but this series is tired. The action scenes are all so busy and messy. Yet ANOTHER bunch of cursed pirates. "Comedic" dialogue reminiscent of a CBS sitcom. It's like seeing your old friend but now he's fat and moved back in with his parents.
Rated 07 Jan 2018
25
7th
The last gasp of a dying franchise. Sparrow is now a cliched impersonation of himself, the action scenes are ridiculous and occasionally sloppily rendered CGI shitfests and the new leads are bland and hollow. Bardem should be a bonus to this but he isn't just the latest CGI dead pirate to need X object to stop whatever it is we were supposed to care about. Stop making these.
Rated 01 Jun 2017
30
10th
Depp gets horrible lines, and his performance would be more appropriate as Inspector Jacques Clouseau than as Captain Jack Sparrow. And while it's arguably a brave choice to opt for an antagonist that goes full retard, the only new film I'll consider giving a chance in this franchise is a spin-off for Geoffrey Rush.
Rated 24 May 2017
30
22nd
Pirates of the Franchise: Bored to Death Audiences Tell No Tales
Rated 04 Jun 2017
5
30th
Dead Men Tell No Tales is arguably the best of four underwhelming sequels now to follow the much loved original. The story has somewhat come full circle but this franchise is tired and now would be a good time to call it a day. It's almost sad to see Johnny Depp become a parody of himself. And with the exception of the underused Javier Bardem, the other new cast additions underwhelm. But the set pieces excite as always, the score is stellar once again and there is a romping sense of adventure.
Rated 10 Jun 2017
15
10th
Obviously, there is no more pirates story to tell. There is no newer scenarios to improve this series. Then only solution for Pirates of the Caribbean is to finish it. It's a shame for the first two movies which I thought was very fresh and very fun to watch. However, this one is shot ridiculously bad and I thought the whole acting was 'cgi' because it was that bad.
Rated 28 May 2017
32
25th
Good god, this shit is even more moronic than the 4th movie. The sudden sympathetic take on Barboosa was weak as hell, even worse was the awful "heroic sacrifice" they gave him which was not only unnecessary but completely mundane. The whole Poseidon's Trident is a ton of plot holes all rolled in one - I laughed at how Orlando Bloom pops up the end for some reason. It's like they introduced him as a plot point and at the end forgot that he mattered so they asspulled him to show up.
Rated 26 May 2017
3
11th
At this point they seem content with simply going through the motions and doing little else, and even that they fucked up. Turner Jr. was even lamer than his father (which is saying a lot) and Whatsherface was about as convincing a strong independent woman of science as Stallone would be. Even Jack's shtick is old and tired out. The deus ex machina "Get Out of Every Curse Free" trident was so bad. Easily the nadir of the Pirates flicks.
Rated 30 May 2017
70
45th
It's a little lopsided, a tad haphazard, and cluttered beyond belief, but in spite of all of this, "Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales" is a genuinely entertaining, refreshingly brisk, and well-crafted adventure that refuses to adhere to the latest in blockbuster trends, perpetually stuck in it's own little cinematic bubble. Is it essential viewing? No. Will I remember it past June? Probably not. But for what it is, and for what I was expecting to be, it's nothing less than fun.
Rated 10 Jul 2017
19
4th
Complete chaos. It's hard to believe that somebody read the script and gave it a go. But then again, the franchise sells itself too well just for being Pirates of the Caribbean. Random shit appears and happens all the time, but it's just impossible to have a coherent plot with all that crap. What you get instead is a movie so repetitive (so many last minute rescues!) and boring that it's just tiring.
Rated 27 Jan 2018
50
9th
There are pirates. They are in the Caribbean. That is all.
Rated 14 Sep 2017
1
8th
So bad that I started doing chores around the house. Dumb plot, horrible script, razzie worthy acting and an all round unpleasant experience.
Rated 28 Jun 2017
60
62nd
It's Pirates of the Caribbean.
Rated 24 Mar 2018
72
45th
Enjoyable fun with great special effects but ultimately falls into the same trap as too many of the Pirates films following on from the brilliant first one; too much action joined together too quickly and too many characters to get the most out of... and Jack is almost becoming a parody of a parody, relying on luck not his skills or even a modicum of 'a cunning plan' to get past each (often daft) obstacle. Still a rousing tale though despite the silliness that occurs too often during the film...
Rated 24 May 2018
65
19th
Excitingly repetitive
Rated 10 May 2019
64
26th
Bland, disposable series entry is a pleasant trifle enjoyed in the moment, with Depp in fine form indulging in some of his iconic prat-falling; Bardem appears to be doing a repeat of his recent Bond villian, while it's really unclear why Rush is here (except for a middling climactic revelation). Rests far too much on fond, nostalgic memories of the better episodes of this franchise (and Bloom and Knightley are sadly missed), but moves at a good clip, not feeling a minute of its 2 hr+ runtime.
Rated 22 Sep 2020
75
41st
There's so much money & fantastic production work on the screen, it's hard to hate this. It also helps a great deal that enough years have passed to allow me to be impressed by the spectacle as opposed to growing numb to it. The problem, as usual, is the script, which tries to be the same but different, but what made the 1st film so great is that it wasn't the same at all - it all felt new esp Sparrow. But he's routine now & his jokes fall flat. Only Bardem's pirate hunter is memorable
Rated 25 May 2017
50
46th
Kaya Scodelario and Brenton Thwaites are not and never will be Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom. Hell, Johnny Depp isn't even Johnny Depp anymore. And I couldn't care less about Geoffrey Rush's character or Javier Bardem acting in anything. Worst of all, Bardem is basically the protagonist. Stop trying.
Rated 06 Sep 2017
61
64th
This movie felt like a completion of the saga, loose ties were knot from the overall story and a great additional story line for Barbosa. I really hope it ends here, even though as usual the final scene suggested otherwise. Besides that, it was in the typical style of Jack Sparrow and the traditional side love story, that I guess is a "must" in order to make a movie.
Rated 11 Sep 2017
54
24th
You can see they really tried hard with this but it's too much of a committee effort which ultimately fails to get the franchise back on track. Bardem does provide a decent villain but he is wasted in a weak confusing rehash of the various storylines of the other films. The new Bloom and Knightly replacements don't have a convincing chemistry with each other or the many returning characters and while the FX are often impressive, Pirates 5 lacks the wit, charm and originality of the early films.
Rated 09 Jan 2018
57
24th
Javier Bardem brings some new life into the franchise with a terrific villainous performance. Overall Dead Men Tell No Tales is a fun (hilariously flawed and unbelievable) ride in the Pirates universe.
Rated 14 Oct 2018
43
18th
This is not a good film, but it does have undead Javier Bardem using the reanimated corpses of sharks to do his evil bidding.
Rated 13 Oct 2017
60
35th
Definitely fits the "so bad it's good" list
Rated 02 Jun 2017
75
75th
I sat through the credits to watch the after-credit scene so I can reveal that young Sparrow is actually played by an actor in the flashback and not by cgi-rejuvenated Depp. There. Now you don't have to spend half the movie wondering. The movie lacks the lightness and charm of the first one and tries to make up for it by being bigger and louder. Not awful, just a bit stale. On the other hand, any movie with zombie sharks is a good movie in my book.
Rated 16 Nov 2017
50
23rd
Repeats ideas from the earlier films. Not actually boring, but repetitiveness still counts.
Rated 17 Jan 2018
55
42nd
After the previous uninspired and almost supernaturally forgettable installment, my expectations for this one was more or less "time will eventually pass as I watch it". So, within this framework I consider Pirates 5 a success. It played like the lighthearted adventure it's supposed to, and even though momentum (as well as CGI budget apparently) was lost in the final act, there were enough moments of levity throughout to entertain me a monday evening in January.
Rated 30 Dec 2017
61
26th
DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES has the unenviable task of extending and reinvigorating the PIRATES franchise and, all things considered, makes a mildly successful go of it. The film piles up exuberantly dumb elements (zombie sharks!) while employing its Rube Goldberg action sequences with surprising verve and humor. It's all silliness, of course, saddled with a childish script and nonsensical fan service--but you could do far worse for mindless fun.
Rated 20 Sep 2017
65
45th
I legit enjoyed this one a lot more than I thought I would. I dare say it's the best one since the original, though that probably isn't saying much because the bar was lowered significantly. It also has some great cameo's and features some of the favourites from the original, to draw some emotion from. As always though, it seems to have a little too many players and not enough for everyone to do. If you have time to kill, it's a relatively enjoyable film to pass the time.
Rated 04 Jun 2017
56
43rd
The first half is more than okay but then it decides going overboard. Which is nothing new.
Rated 10 Jul 2017
19
4th
Feels like you fed a facebook algorithm all the stuff that people thought made the first movie so successful, and let that algorithm make that movie. It feels more like a Pirates of the carribean simulator than a real movie. When is this shit gonna end? Adorno was fucking right.
Rated 29 May 2017
80
80th
Don't understand the bad reviews, this was as good as the best moments of the original trilogy. Maybe it had not enough diversity or social commentary on liberal issues, because the film has fun set pieces and the story moves along at a nice pace.
Rated 15 Jul 2018
2
12th
all it did was make me think about how genuinely fun the first movie was
Rated 17 Jul 2018
52
11th
Seriously flat Hollywood blockbuster by numbers. Sure the second and third films were bloated, but at least Gore Verbinski could bring a spark to proceedings.
Rated 04 Jul 2017
83
83rd
I'm going diverge from the pack here, It may have been fourteen years since the first, and six since the most recent, but "Dead Men Tell No Tales" is the freshest that "Pirates" has been since it's premier. I can't even say that there's anything particularly amazing about this one, it gives in to the same pitfalls of most big adventure movies, plots that don't make a whole lot of sense, cringes every once in a while, but it's fun and entertaining and that is everything it aspires to be.
Rated 12 Sep 2017
63
39th
This instalment has a better plot than its predecessor, focusing on more likeable (albeit bland) characters. Unfortunately, the direction is sloppy and the editing choppy. No single scene is allowed to develop nor any emotional moment allowed to land, before an underwhelming soundtrack or blaring SFX sabotage the experience. A badly produced summer blockbuster, made all the more disappointing given the trilogy it spawned from.
Rated 14 Jan 2018
50
35th
ger; [pirates of the caribbean: salazars rache]; jack sparrow sucht den dreizack des poseidons und wird dabei von einem alten widersacher gejagt.;
Rated 26 May 2017
70
42nd
This gave me basically what I wanted and was in no way fundamentally-flawed enough to knock it down from that. I'm a Javier Bardem mark so getting to see him ham it up to ridiculous levels was a big selling point for me. The editing leaves something to be desired as this is about 20-25 minutes longer than it needs to be and would arguably be more effective at 100 minutes vs. the 130 that it is. But for somebody like me who really dug the first movie and enjoys this universe, it totally works.
Rated 24 Jul 2017
56
22nd
It's not bad. I wasn't too bored. Kaya is great, more of her please.
Rated 09 Sep 2017
29
3rd
Due to its runtime it's very persistent when it comes to being boring and lacking things like ideas, craftsmanship or even feeling like anyone actually tried. Which robs the finale and William and Elizabeths reuinion of all its coolness. A few performances were OK (Geoffrey Rush or Kaya Scodelario for example), but that's it.
Rated 07 Sep 2017
60
33rd
ain't that bad.
Rated 29 May 2017
79
78th
Best of the series, new cast brings fresh air to the franchise.
Rated 03 Oct 2017
15
1st
The franchise has now well and truly jumped the shark, even their little reverse homage (the shark jumping the boat) can't save it. If you have to steal your gimmicks (bank vault being dragged through a city) from F&F movies, the inspiration has just run dry. Johnny Depp looks as if he's sick and tired of this stuff, but couldn't refuse. It's a drudgery. Avoid.
Rated 30 May 2017
72
25th
This script is bad, just no way around that one. Sparrow is lifeless, devoid of his clever past self. I think they wanted to show him hit rock bottom, but then he never bounces back, so I don't know. The familial plotline with Barbossa is shoehorned in. Bardem is great, but he needed more time to shine. I miss Verbinski. He understood how to pace and balance these films. There's still a lot of fun stuff here -- it's not a bad flick. It's just not a Cap'n Jack adventure, really.
Rated 24 Sep 2017
57
28th
Kind of tired
Rated 04 Aug 2017
37
13th
Unfunny, boring, cliched, saddled with a ridiculous lead performance that wore its welcome three movies ago. A tale that needed not be told.
Rated 07 Jan 2018
30
11th
https://youtu.be/cSzgPqXWU28?t=10
Rated 11 Jul 2017
60
62nd
Dead Men Tell No Tales may not evoke a hearty, "Yo ho ho!" like the first time you ever stood on this cinematic foredeck with the salt spray in your face. But it's not a walk down the gangplank either. (pluggedin.com)
Rated 20 Sep 2017
40
10th
At least previous films were entertaining, this one was just dull.
Rated 23 Sep 2017
66
43rd
Killing off the best character was not a smart move.
Rated 19 Nov 2017
50
34th
It was a far cry from the greatness of the first movie in the Franchise. Especially Jack's character. While he used to keep us wondering if he was an idiot or a genius, he's only an idiot in this one. Touching ending, but a very linear story line. No surprises (well, except what's after the denouement).
Rated 14 Oct 2017
40
20th
Harmless fun.
Rated 23 Nov 2017
100
93rd
Great story.
Rated 29 May 2017
40
8th
In a word, bilge! Slivers of imagination in pieces, but mostly a vacant waste of time, especially Depp's repetitive and Bardem's death-warmed-over shticks. The best part was where Bardem hit the anchor, and the scenes the monkey stole. And WTF was up with that ending, a Saturday night drunken "Hey watch this"? It all looked like they were going for a different take on dystopia. I left the theater pretty sure that I would have enjoyed "Baywatch" more.
Rated 26 May 2017
60
23rd
Having only seen the first two, I don't really suffer from the same fatigue that some might. In short this is just a fun little adventure. That's it; nothing more, nothing less. The one criticism I have is that while the first one (which is far superior) was long, it didn't FEEL long. This is actually shorter I think but it needed to be trimmed. If you tighten this up it's a lot more thrilling. I do like the water physics that the ghost hair has.
Rated 31 May 2017
30
17th
It's sad to see how far the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has fallen. Each new installment tarnishes its legacy--at this point, even the second and third chapters now feel like a slog. This new movie, Dead Men Tell No Tales tells a lazy, convenient plot filled with characters we won't care about and can't even entertain us with its action or jokes. What a poor bore. Let's hope all involved decide that the franchise needs a long rest in Davy Jones' Locker.
Rated 20 Jun 2017
48
23rd
Great costume, worldbuilding, fight scenes, even character! Dialogue is unbearably bad, though, and it all falls down.
Rated 19 Jan 2018
5
13th
only for good special effects!
Rated 07 Dec 2017
0
3rd
There is something like... 2 good jokes ? ... At the beginning. This is terrible.
Rated 25 May 2017
7
75th
Liked it more than the previous ones. Can't really say why for sure. I think it has to do with the movie actually building up some lore to better explain the franchise's universe, and a clear increase in the quality of the cgi and action choreography. Like seriously, that bank heist was some next level shit. Interested in where the franchise goes from here, since all the magical stuff at sea is now apparently gone (except Davy Jones?). Will be watching the next installment for sure.
Rated 01 Nov 2017
42
29th
This movies suck me in every time. Nothing new same old pirates and jack. And why on earth did Javier Bardem sound like he was Gargling water when trying to talk.
Rated 26 Jun 2017
77
49th
This was a refreshing change from the previous instalment. Jack Sparrow seems to have got his mojo back! It was admirable how they were able to tie the movie to the previous instalments and still keep the plot coherent. There are some hilarious scenes (the bank robbery) and real funny dialogues that are really what the crowd comes for.
Rated 27 May 2017
2
37th
Clearly everyone needs trident and they are obliged to proclaim that every 5 minutes. Also Legolas comes back with Faramir for one last time.
Rated 15 Sep 2017
40
58th
Being soaked in that artificial computer atmosphere killed a lot of it for me. Not being burned-out on the other Pirates of the Caribbean outings, I did enjoy the stupidity to a certain degree. Not the best of material, but for a B-blockbuster I can take it.
Rated 26 Nov 2017
69
46th
Decent entertainment with very inventive shooting at times.
Rated 09 Nov 2017
40
17th
I can't say I liked this one. It feels very forced and as far as I'm concerned Dead Men Tell No Tales was only made for the money. So there's a lot of action, some talk and a lot of unbelievable things happening in it. And they all lead to nothing. 40/100.
Rated 15 Jun 2017
54
44th
Probably the 3rd best of the series which restores a lot of what was good in the original like adding suspense thanks to Salazar and his crew. Depp's Sparrow is given less screen time which works better for the film. It doesn't offer anything new, unless you count added slapstick and starts to seriously drag after mid-point when it needs to wrap up all the open questions and provide background stories with e.g young Sparrow which totally was unnecessary. Maybe they should let the series rest.
Rated 07 Jun 2017
5
18th
More of the same (over the top characters, CGI action scenes,predictable plot development) but not the worse of the franchise and entertaining in places.
Rated 11 Nov 2017
55
16th
Do we really need to prolong Depp's suffering? I get it, he still has a mortgage to pay and maybe some alimony, but this is a shameless waste of your time. Luckily for you, I volunteered as tribute.
Rated 31 May 2017
88
73rd
Jack Sparrow is a staple of the franchise but it was the newcomers that took the spotlight. Corina is probably the most interesting character the series has had and there is definitely a lot more left to be explored. It felt fun and alive again very much a different feeling than the previous installment. Bardem was a good villainous presence for the film that definitely should consider wrapping up with a sixth and final swashbuckling adventure.
Rated 07 Nov 2017
85
69th
I enjoyed it. Hope its the last Pirates movie though; Disney should stop milking the franchise and ruining the original pirates. I loved the graphics and that cool Spanish ship, however, the plot was just plain simple and boring just like the past few Pirates movies.
Rated 13 Jun 2017
49
19th
Some good action setpieces, some good jokes, bad writing and a shadow of what Captain Jack Sparrow used to be. The stinger makes absolutly no sense.
Rated 11 Jun 2017
55
34th
Get that money. Give Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom 30 seconds in the film.
Rated 22 Jul 2017
100
51st
very funny and very good action movie
Rated 21 Sep 2017
45
17th
I definitely felt this was the weakest one. It's just a copy of the others, and yeah, it's really tired and boring by now. Even Johnny Depp, who was so fantastic in the first few movies, is now just plain annoying. Javier Bardem's performance was decent, but his character did nothing for me. The dialogue was bad to the point of embarrassing at times. I wasn't very impressed by the visual effects or the action scenes. There really wasn't anything for me to enjoy.
Rated 26 May 2017
75
65th
I went from "this isn't as bad as I expected" through "this is OK" to "actually I like this" within the span of two hours. If we forget the third and fourth film ever happened and pretend this is the end of a trilogy you've got a pretty good thing going here. It does remind a bit of the Star Wars reboot somehow which probably shouldn't be too surprising.
Rated 18 Jan 2018
0
4th
absolute dog shit
Rated 07 Sep 2017
52
21st
legolas! what do your elf eyes see?
Rated 27 May 2017
10
0th
artık tam bir disney korsanı olmuş. çok mu farklıydı, bilemeyeceğim. ama arkadaş için gitmesem gerçekten sonunu getirmezdim.
Rated 10 Aug 2018
49
8th
Dead Men Tell No Tales is thoroughly forgettable and entirely mediocre, with awful CGI and a grating performance from Depp
Rated 04 Sep 2018
1
16th
Hurray, more pirate spam. Yo ho yo ho, a spammy film for me!
Rated 12 Jan 2019
69
43rd
Much better than I had expected (based on low expectations). Unlike On Stranger Tides, this film actually felt PotC-esque for me, due to the ridiculous (but fun and entertaining) set pieces and the fact that this film was actually funny half the time. The plot is forgettable, but the cast is more interesting than last time which makes up for it. The soundtrack fits the scenes and there are some scenes I absolutely loved. Salazar felt more annoying than interesting though. Decent, but not great.
Rated 16 Feb 2020
77
16th
They need to end this franchise.
Rated 12 Apr 2019
37
9th
I think it's pretty obvious this movie was made for the Chinese market first and foremost. Chinese Disneyland just got a new PotC ride in 2016, so it was a perfect opportunity to dust off this old franchise. The international inclination becomes pretty clear when you notice things like the lack of skeletons, the simple dialogue, and the fact that all of the humor consists of jokes and gags that can be translated into any language. Certainly no English wordplay or European cultural references.
Rated 19 Jun 2019
33
25th
The movie gets better as it goes on; ending was great. Campy as usual; so-so on the adventure.
Rated 07 Sep 2019
71
50th
Korsan, kasa, idam, giyotin, lanet, ölüler, baba-oğul, baba-kız, kaptan, gemi, şeytan üçgeni, ingiliz, ispanyol, astroloji, cadılık, topla saldırı, deniz muharebesi, CURCUNA
Rated 16 Dec 2019
45
23rd
I'm sooo tired of this film series, but though a bit forgettable, this is actually not among the worst in the franchise.
Rated 26 Apr 2020
100
78th
Must watch. Anytime, Anywhere!
Rated 09 May 2020
26
19th
"hi jack sparrow i'm henry turner and i want to find this thing help" "hi i'm kaya scodelario from the maze runner saga and i also want to find that thing help" "hola sparrow i'm javier bardem and i hate you and i want to kill you ugh" "sparrow we meet again i want to find that thing too haha i'm barbossa btw lol" "hi i'm jack sparrow and i exist"
Rated 31 May 2020
1
3rd
5 minutes after watching this I couldn't remember what the plot was - something about lifting a curse I think, but wasn't that the plot of the first one? A We Hate Movies watch
Rated 10 Oct 2020
70
17th
Not my least favorite of the series, but close. It jumps around a lot between characters, it uses a lot of the same jokes/ideas over and over again (like the idea of witch), some plot points don't work so good, and a luckless Jack Sparrow is just not that much fun to watch. I guess it felt like the heroes didn't have much of a plan or agency at all in the movie. It's still an interesting adventure, but not the best by any means.
Rated 26 Jul 2021
49
17th
Nota tão alta apenas pelo fato do Davy Jones voltar. Adoro este homem (polvo, na verdade).
Rated 06 Aug 2021
81
75th
?????????????????????????????????????????????
Rated 22 Jul 2022
70
50th
This is a pretty typical PotC film, if your familiar with the franchise. There's lots of decent CGI, fast paced, frenzied action, a quick witted Jack Sparrow and so on. I thought Joaquin Phoenix did particularly well as one of the supernatural characters. Most of the plot details passed me by but it was certainly a pretty entertaining watch anyway, though I'm not sure I'd remember much about it in a few days time, put it that way.
Rated 12 Sep 2022
80
49th
Girls are hot, glad we got more of them
Rated 05 Oct 2023
25
11th
Plot 2/20 Fiction 2/20 Casting/Acting 10/20 Worldbuilding 11/20 Entertainment 0/20

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