Robo Vampire

Really, really awful, and not in an entertaining, "hey, let's get drunk and watch a bad movie" way. Just... baffling.

Incredibly terrible and/or hilarious, since it's two awful films cut and edited together to make some sort of unholy hybrid that goes against all laws of nature and decency. Obviously, the whole thing is a mess and makes no sense whatsoever. Still, it has an american ghost with a see-through top trying to have sex with a monkey-faced vampire being interrupted by the arrival of a tin-foil robocop ripoff. That's gotta count for something, right?

A white drug smuggler in Asia who looks just like Gabe Kaplan sends a horde of hopping vampires to kill off the anti-drug police. They retaliate by turning one of their own dead officers into a cheap knockoff of Robocop. There's lots of terrible cops vs bad guys shootouts, and the finale comes down to the expected battle of Robocop doing kung fu on a bunch of bloodsuckers. Ridiculously poor but kinda novel for the WTF factor.

robertcop

Worth a one-time watch but it's really poorly made trash.

Too long, but fairly fantastic if you can live in the moment.

Is it full of crazy? Sure, but it's languid, the crazy goes across the screen like floats in a parade, interesting to look at, lacking real pizzaz. I enjoyed the weird vampires, it was a trip trying to understand the logic of the vampires and the ghosts and how the drug dealers might use them while randomly switching to a Missing in Action type movie. It just didn't really move, and nothing reached the high octane levels of crazy that I O.D.ed on in my teen years. I'm a jaded old bastard.

Not bad for a Godfrey Ho movie. That isn't to say that it's good, but you really can't expect too much since it's a Robocop knock off that threw in some hopping vampires, after all.