Solarbabies

As soon as I discovered a movie existed with the title Solarbabies, all priorities in my life went on hold apart from the 'watching a goddamn movie called Solarbabies as soon as possible' one. Now it's 94 minutes later and I feel... emptier as a person.

At one point in the ramblings I wrote: "Hello. My Name is Rollerskater Montoya. You killed my Orb. Prepare to die!" So, I can't not recommend it.

The name alone. Solarbabies. Oh, and they rollerskate. It's one of those movies that every time it would show up in the cable company's movie listings I would see it, get a little excited, then disappointed, and pass right by, kind of like when you see one of those receptacle box punchouts and think it's a quarter. Now I see it on Amazon or Netflix and, for nostalgia purposes, swipe left, as all the hip young solar babies say these days.

who was the demographic?

An allegorical Jesus lion? Sure, I can accept that. That's great! I love it! But an allegorical Jesus sphere? No way! That's where I draw the line.

Isn't "troubled production" supposed to mean ambitious and unconventional? It is initially amusing but it loses steam pretty quickly and the second half in particular is excruciating. With a more modest budget (like its originally forecast $5M) and a better director it might have been a viable if undistinguished B movie for kids. Only a crackpot (Mel Brooks, in this case) would have refused to let it die, as though it could provide something more than a return on investment.

HDTGM made do it

This is a strange one. It was a big flop at the box office, but it's huge budget made for some interesting sci-fi sets. The story is pretty strange, but it's watchable and fairly entertaining.

Stupid and embarrassing

Nice world building and setting up in the first half hour or so. But the plot of the rest is a mess. It also suffers terribly from not knowing what its target audience suppose to be.

Oh man... this movie is everything 80s all rolled up into one. At least the Terminatrix was kinda cool.

Fuck the 80s.

Maybe it was the atmosphere of a theater partially filled with roller-derby chicks, but I kinda had fun with the retardation of it all.

The five points are for the memorable ball-busting scene.