Sorority Row

It's not as bad as everyone says. I know it's complete cliche, it's cheesy, not terrifying either. But it gave what I can expect from a slasher-flick. It was so fun to watch this movie, and I'm not saying this just because there were many many boobies. There were also some real smart, funny dialogues, especially from queen bitch blonde. Cinematography was pretty good and there were very creative killing techniques. Delight fun. The movie even doesn't take itself seriously, why should I?

It's the exact shitty, generic bubblegum horror pulp you'd expect from the trailer. The performances are all mediocre-to-shit, especially Leah Pipes' hilarious sub-high school theater depiction of the bitchy sorority leader. All this would be excusable (even welcome), except that there's virtually no creativity in the kills, almost all performed in the exact same way with the exact same weapon, and there's no excuse whatsoever for how little nudity this film has.

The perfect movie to watch with a bunch of your dumbass friends. Awful in every regard and that is why it is so great. First kill was so hilarious, as were many other ones. Never thought I'd see death via flare gun. The ending ruined what could've been a legitimate so bad it's good film. lol @ Princess Leia.

It's a big, dumb slasher flick and, if viewed as such, some enjoyment can be had. Leah Pipes, Margo Harshman, and Carrie Fisher get some good laughs, though the other girls don't have much to work with (And in Evigan's case, have nothing at all to work with). Whatever the case, it's a serviceable update to the stock eighties slasher formula, and is an easy way to pass an hour and a half.

I actually thought the first half was ok, after that though, some of the killings were a little lacklustre and it got a little tiresome. It was enjoyable for the most part, it did exactly what it said on the tin and some of the killings were quite funny. Some tasty girls too and I mean what exactly can you expect from a film like this?

Fun, unpretentious and cheerfully empty teen slasher with hilarious bitchy college girls and a streak of lovely, exploitive nastiness (Grizzled, badly aged Princess Leia with a shotgun). Shut your brain off.

Hey, Stewart Hendler you're a shitty director. Slo-mo walkaway triumphant shots aren't cool they're lame AS LAME AS YOU LOLO. The killer reveal is mind bending in its shittiness. Get ready to see some bubz.

While not a bad Horror film, it's corny and there are too many silly moments, but you can still enjoy watching it.

Thirty years after the first couple slashers devolved into mindless teenagers running away from (or to) sharp objects wielded by mindless killers, little has changed. This movie does nothing to either recognize its roots, or to unveil anything new. Slashers have only ever been good at two things, cheap gore, and pretty faces, and someone thought that Rumer Willis's face would fill one of those two criteria, I have yet to figure out which one.

Cookie cutter slasher stuff. Hm. Actually, someone should make a generic slasher movie where the killer only uses cookie cutters. It'd be so meta it hurts.

Some hot ladies worth a watch.

I didn't come into this one expecting much, but wasn't bad. It feels like there was money put into this thing and there's a strong sense of style to it, but this is still a bit of a generic post-Scream slasher. The characters are catty to each other - they almost talk solely in one-liners. Everyone is a rich frat douche, so if that triggers you, you're not missing out on a whole lot if you skip this.

This is a step up from most of the remakes today, there was the odd decent performance or the odd moment that was thrilling. All though the premise was entirely cliche and the sororirty leader was overdramatic and a modern day barbie who cannot act to save her life, there was still a few good laughs becuase of Carrie Fisher. A film that is a bit predictable as all these girls keep trying to figure out who it is. Pay attention early on and you can and will figure it out.

It's a pretty fun and brainless slasher. The cast is talented with sufficiently annoying characters that you know will get killed off sooner or later. The less annoying ones have more chances for survival, of course, plus Carrie Fisher wields a shotgun. The ending was just kind of tiresome and filled with zero impact. I wish they would have gone with something a little bit mysterious or used the tension better for the finale.

Waste.

This movie is lucky my hormones are out of control lately. The eye candy actually knocked this up some points. Besides that it's pretty much crap with maybe a good scene or two.

I felt there was a great tongue-in-cheek trashy b-movie lost in the nonsense. Still, this is very entertaining and the silly mistery will get you laughing at its preposterousness.

A perfectly good, disposable, forgettable, dumb, yet fun slasher film.

The best movie of recent times, no doubt.

Identikit post-scream slasher. It's hard to care for characters so dumb they'd end up with Darwin Awards anyhow, no matter how pretty.

Silliness meets with naked bodies in this remake. Please stay away.* Casting, Acting : 3 * Script : 1 * Directing, Aura : 2 * Ease of Viewing : 4 * Naked Eye : 3

I woulda put this to a 35 (the lowest-end "Average" rank I give), but the very final scene in the movie knocked it down. Being as impartial as I possibly can, this flick sucked out loud - and speaking of sucked, there wasn't nearly enough of that going on in the movie, if you follow me. A blowjob scene here or there really would have picked up the audience (which, in my case, was myself, Obdurate, and a middle-aged guy in a ball-cap). Shitty premise, shitty execution, one or two decent deaths.

Princess Leia was awsome hahaha, my favourite character!!

would be a zero if it werent for the hot girls

some of the kills were really cool...the acting was bad....why do they keep making remakes....ahhhhh.....

The Windows 8 to Scream's Windows 7. All the ideas are there, but they've been filtered through so many layers of focus groups and board meetings that the end result is a piece of shit that nobody wants.

The entire movie is a walking cliche and a rehash of more films than one can count. There's a whole mess of characters, none of which does the director or writer know what to do with and none of them does the audience give a goddamn about. I've also never in my life seen a film completely make itself up as it goes along in order to justify who the killer is. It's a sight to see. Oh, and the ending and it's final shots are downright pathetic. It has boobs, though...so...yeah.

"Before seeing Sorority Row, I couldn't imagine that any slasher film released this year could possibly be more misogynistic than either the Friday the 13th reboot or Donkey Punch." - Simon Abrams

Though it sometimes misses the mark, namely in its convoluted ending & the overly stretched runtime, it's still one of the better horror remakes of the 2000's era & is just as if not more enjoyable than its predecessor. With solid performances, particularly from Pipes, as well as a fresh take on the plot it's based on & plenty of fun kills, it's never boring & always keeps the whodunnit aspect interesting with plenty of suspects. It's better than it has any real right to be, & is worth a look.

27.500

Bad Movie

I loved this. When Jessica says "Nobody's dead, Ellie...! Well, Megan" I was amazed by the sheer brilliance of the writing, a script like that is kind of a once-in-a-lifetime situation. Also, Maggie standing still as she's about to get run over by the car and then just trashing Jessica's hair was great. Also, Jessica holding the piece of glass Garrett had just used to slit his wrists to reflect light into the mineshaft was one of the best uses of props I've ever seen in any film.