Stan Helsing

Your brain would have to be mush to enjoy this - whether that be the easily amused brain of a preteen or that of someone blitzed out of their mind. Anyone else - especially horror fans hoping for some cheap some giggles - will be sadly disappointed.

I cannot stress enough how bad this is. It's worse than cancer.

I didn't have any fun with Stan Helsing. This is one that definitely deserves the panning that its received, and there's absolutely no reason for you to watch this movie. Just let it go away, and I'll keep hoping for a true parody of Van Helsing. Or at least, something that's fun to watch, has a decent enough story, or is in any possible way enjoyable. Because Stan Helsing certainly wasn't any of those things, and was one of the worst movies I can remember watching.

Shit like this still gets funding? Baird and Lydic were the only good things in it. One point for each body.

I'm not going to argue that it's a cinematic masterpiece, but it has a refreshingly quick pace (I'm getting very tired of movies that linger overly long on a scene/event). Just don't expect anything too sophisticated and serious, and you should be able to get a couple laughs out of it.

Usually a failed horrorcom would consist of bad acting, bad writing, failed jokes, and all around poor follow through. This fits that description fairly well, except there really aren't many jokes that were even there to fail at. I don't actually think there's a synonym for the word "bad" with enough letters to describe the quality of this movie.

For the first 30 minutes I thought to myself: "The only way this cheap Wayans-knockoff could get any worse would be a Leslie Nielsen cameo". Lo and behold, there he was! As a cross-dressing waitress no less. This is the cinematographic equivalent of purgatory.

When I seen the trailer for this movie, I was really looking forward to it cause it looked funny. Than I actually watched the movie. I laughed a couple times in the beginning, but the longer the movie went, the worse it got. And it got old really quick. Most of the jokes were not funny. The movie had a lot of potential. If it wouldn't have been a parody, I think this could have been really good. It still could've been funny, but the writer/director really ruined this.

Written by the Bo Zenga, the genius behind did Soul Plane. What a surprise.

"This might be the cheapest-looking production of the year." - Rob Humanick

Just as terrible as you would expect, but I've seen worse "parody" films. I'm looking at you, Epic Movie and your brethren. Seriously though, ignore this one.

I dunno, man, there was some funny stuff in there, I guess. I can't remember any of it, but, you know.

Why would you ever try to be "Scary Movie-like"?