The Assignment

After 30 years of buying the rights to cheap-ass tokusatsu from Japan and rebranding for the culture-starved west, Haim Saban has finally saved up enough blood-pennies to make "Mighty Morchelle Rodrigrangers" and achieve his life-long dream of filming two women having sex without it technically being ungodly lesbianism.

I finally found the movie inspirational enough to prod me to write my own. It could have been Michelle Rodriguez with a brilliantly unbelievable fake beard and prosthetic dick, chewing through lines like an emphysema patient. But it was probably the fact that a 74 year old made a movie about a forced SRS hit(wo)man bent on revenge ending with the line, "Change is gonna come." If he can make this - out there, friends, is free money waiting in envelopes with our crudely-written names on them.

One of those films where if it was made 30 years prior would still be talked about in hushed excited tones of: "Hitman Glenn Close hangs dong and strangles a coked out surgeon, Willem Dafoe, with panty hose to a moody Tangerine Dream score"

Cheerfully silly 80s action throwback (directed by genre master Hill) would have been even better if it had the guts to follow its instincts into tacky exploitation, but what we have is whacked out enough to be fun, especially with this cast; Rodriguez is excellent in a difficult role (perhaps we didn't need a full frontal scene early on to prop up the authenticity), and Weaver has a field day as Lector-lite. Clunky framing device and sometimes slow pacing are detriments.

I'm not sure what happened here. There is a reference to her "point blank aim" and I have no idea what that means.

Weird premise, boring movie. Sigourney Weaver was good as a tough bitch. Michelle Rodriguez does surprisingly well in her role. Tony Shalhoub was bland and disappointing.

Crude exploitation of the worst order. Bafflingly random scene transitions and amateurish in the extreme. Also incredibly tone-deaf to what SRS is about and how people deal/don't deal with it.

Sing, sing!!!

Such potential for an odd film to be weirdly brilliant. Instead it's just a turgid oddity that feels twice as long as it is. It has its moments but it's just lacking a good script. Nice idea but shame about the execution

I actually enjoyed this one. Sure the bearded-version of the main character looked a little off, but other than that, it was quite entertaining. The way the story was presented was enjoyable and the twist at the very end surprising in a good way.

Watching these actors try to chew through this awful dialogue is almost worth a watch alone. I don't think Walter Hill meant this to be as misogynistic as it often feels, but he sure didn't do himself any favors. Hill usually gives solid genre pieces but this is not one of them.