The Canyons

That NYT piece fooled us all: no unintentionally comic softcore porn here. This is Schrader's pessimistic statement about the end of cinema -- yep, serious stuff --, in a thriller led by characters who seem more interested in texting than in the business they are involved with. That's why it starts and ends with pics of decayed/abandoned theaters -- in LA/Hollywood, only hotels matter. This is when camp goes utilitary and meta. Film of the year -- neither the best nor the worst.

Lohan's boobies

(Viewed on 05/02/14): Surely a collaboration between Schrader and Ellis should have produced an edgier film than this rather tepid foray into contemporary celebrity? Maybe the former bad boys of their respective mediums are now passed their expiration date? Either way, The Canyons fancies itself as a commentary on the death of cinema--the film is bookended with shots of empty and/or abandoned theaters--but it is closer to a pretentious soap opera with bad performances and stitled dialogue.

The script scrapes by as slightly more legible than The Room's. Unfortunately, The Canyons is missing the special kind of incompetancy Wisseau possesses to break through the storm and become watchable again. The edit falters as a lot of this film is spent in extended shots watching people silently walk or drive places as if to pad out the running time. As for performances, The Canyons could be reflected on as a transitional platform for the leads from porn to cinema and vice versa.

Grande metáfora sobre a decadência do cinema e da sociedade contemporânea, particularmente interessante colocar o Gus Van Sant como um terapeuta e o fato de ser mesmo bem a cara do Bret Easton Ellis.

Not to pile on, but it's embarrassing watching Schrader try to lend weight to Ellis' characteristically silly, stilted & self-important script: tracking shots following characters for no reason, bombastic electronic soundtrack accompanying a tame & banal "orgy" scene, oddball framing foregrounding LA traffic -- watch for the UPS truck -- and on. Lohan & Deen acquit themselves better than expected but the whole thing is just, well, so dumb. Maybe Verhoeven should have directed?

It's odd to have a film in which Lindsay Lohan is one of the better actors. James Deen was really bad. I can't totally blame the actors though - a lot of the dialogue was far from naturalistic. The movie is shot well enough, and the soundtrack is decent. The primary problem is simply that I just don't give a crap about these shitty people. They're awful and boring. I suppose that's probably the point, but that doesn't make it any more interesting to watch.

who gives a fuck

The Canyons longs to expose cinema as a decaying artform and Hollywood as the seedy town that houses it, but it comes out looking exactly like the kind of exploitative trash it wants to satirize. Grotesque and depressing, The Canyons is a bad and, quite frankly, boring film.

The picture looks and sounds cool in an old-school way, and Lohan acts as if her life depends on it, but ultimately ugh. Who gives a shit about this group of vapid, uncreative, self-obsessed weirdos who carry themselves as if they're characters in a film noir? Better than expected, though.

comes with the caveat that it's, y'know, an ellis adaptation, with all the thinkpiece-baiting soundbitey nihilism that implies, but FWIW it's a really good ellis adaptation. it's completely true to the nothingness at its centre in a similar way to i.e. THE BLING RING; the aesthetics are entirely informed by the content, such as it is.

A somewhat watered-down 'Imperial Bedrooms'.

10 points each. Lol it's terrible

This movie is categorized wrong: It's a soft porn. Adjust your expectations of the plot and acting accordingly.

Took me half the movie to figure out who's who. 2010s Paul Schrader has gotta be one of the more chaotic director arcs I've seen.

The appropriate path for Lindsay Lohan.

I wonder if Lindsay's bruises are real or makeup. Moreover, is this film made with instagram filters? Also, I wonder who texts on a screen. This is as deep as this film gets. Still, it is very well sexed-up.

Everybody involved in this production needs to grow up.

I don't really care for any of it.

Déjà, je suis persuadé que Lindsay Lohan n'assume même plus ce film maintenant. C'était considéré comme une marche vers la repentance, alors que sa présence pue le trash bon marché. James Deen est connu dans le milieu du porno, mais est rapidement passé de hardeur fascinant, à bête sauvage. Lui qui chuchota à l'oreille des femmes en les baisant passionnément, s'est découvert un loisir pour le sexe brut. Rien ne correspond à rien dans ce film. Tout est organisé pour faire bander, rien de plus.

Purposefully arch, when "everybody's an actor" we don't need those old movie theatres any more. Little plot-wise but creates a wonderfully uneasy atmosphere of confusion, paranoia and dread, rushing around but going nowhere.

i think i want a Nokia!

the ever long suspicions of the super privileged characters become tedious and takes no advantage of the film's obvious gimmicky (and potentially entertaining) cast.

Next stop for Lilo - actual porn.

Wow... seriously how high was i when i thought The Informers was actually good? I'm convinced that Ellis is basically just the worst, and this does nothing but reaffirm my feelings. Somehow lurid, maudlin, dreary, and smugly faux-nihilistic all at the same time. It's like a bad soap opera but lacking even camp value, and no amount of Schrader's wannabe-Ozu frontal shots can help. You know somethings wrong when "nice guy" porn star James Deen comes away from this looking the least embarrassing.

This is interestingly bad but still bad.