The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

It's like if Alejandro Jodorowsky directed an episode of the Teletubbies. Depending on your state of mind, you will either find this horrifically hilarious or infuriatingly annoying. Watch it among friends with access to drugs. And if you show this movie to a child or toddler, prepare yourself for a lifetime of hate.

I hate myself for having watched this movie.

Utterly horrifying. Everyone responsible clearly hates the idea of childhood and has set out to destroy the minds of as many kids as possible.

"Enduring this brainless kid's film is akin to witnessing the end of the world." - Nick Schager

I like to think that this film was the result of years of research into the perfect (young) childrens film. You've got all the elements - lovable characters, a milkshake drinking contest, singing, bold colour, a drooling retarded pillow, bubbles, non-threatening adults, merchandising opportunities and geographical accuracy where we are shown green rolling fields, white picket fences, tulips and windmills and told we are in, yes you've guessed it - Mexico. The unmistakeable tulips of Mexico.

Where toddlers' cinema is concerned, one may allow for simplistic stories, one-dimensional characters, and a deal of silliness. But THE OOGIELOVES abuses that allowance every painful minute of the way. Lazy and cheap in all departments, with an utterly anonymous trio at its center, any self-respecting child would reject this garbage. The grating songs, the wasting of Cloris Leachman, Christopher Lloyd, and Chazz Palminteri, the Hispanic stereotypes, the lack of conflict or message...it is shit.