Tough Guys Don't Dance

Oh God, oh man. Oh God, oh man. What the hell was Norman snorting or blowing or inhaling or sucking while doing this movie its bonkers. Ryan O'Neal looks like he has been eating nothing but whatever is in bowling alley ashtrays for weeks. Dialogue that I recognize as English in parts. A must see piece of glorious shit. Oh God, oh man!

If David Lynch's name was on it instead of Norman Mailer's it'd have its own film festival.

Oh Man this movie sucked. Oh God the story was poor. Oh Man is that Ryan'O Neal from Barry Lyndon? Oh God that one scene everyone memes to death. Oh Man that Blue Velvet chick. Oh God kind of funny bad. Oh Man what were they thinking?

Probably the most pathetic film I've ever seen. It reeks of early stage dementia, with its garbled plot, outrageous lines and random outbursts of crude sexual innuendos. In the right company there is tons of fun to be had here.

I don't know how to rate this so I'll lean on Criticker's probable score. I would recommend it to just about everyone but only because it is an almost 2 hour train wreck that only gets train wreckier as it goes. Everyone pointing to Oh God Oh Man is correct but I the noise Ryan makes when he finds a head in a bag was the moment I had to go back to after the movie stopped and I could find the strength to lift my jaw off the floor.

A fascinating mess of a movie. First half is a borderline unintelligible patchwork of 3rd rate noir plotlines, ham acting and surprise dog cameos. Second half plot twisted by all of the sudden making sense. It was still hammy noir schlock but at least it made sense.

Possibly the all-time greatest bad movie, though. I would gladly watch this again with friends.

Lawrence Tierney off on the sidelines making of the best movies of the '80s, everyone else plumbing new career lows.

There's no other explanation

Score based on distant memory.