Underwater

Look, I wouldn't recommend this if I weren't a slut for Alien, Kristen Stewart, girls with short hair, 90-minute genre films, or the unexplored ocean. However I think all of those things are fucking rad so yeah sure go see it.

While it was a largely superficial nod to Lovecraft, "Underwater" is still better than every real adaptation yet committed to film. This might be a blatant rip off of Alien, right down to Stewart's shaved head, and she certainly doesn't hold a candle to Weaver, but the truth is that this movie was a hell of a fun ride for me, but judging by the largely negative reviews, results may vary.

The film combines Aliens and Cthulhu quite well. The POV shots of the characters walking out into the unknown are unnerving as shit. This is how you do jump scares. Even a little bitty fish swimming by the camera will make my pee pee turn inside out. I'm not sure if Kristen Stewart running around in her underwear was supposed to be an anti "Male Gaze" statement or not, but you got me Kristen. You fucking got me. I stared at your legs and I was all in. Sue me. Or cancel me. I don't give a fuck.

Underwater shows promise at the start but quickly sinks into tedium as the film progresses. The aesthetic is grimy and dark, which is understandable given the low budget (I'm assuming), but it fails to build the atmosphere. The film undeniably takes inspiration from Alien and perhaps a bit from the trailer to 2014's Godzilla, but is far less interesting. There is no exploration of the mystery, just badly written character drama. Stewart and the cast are alright, just not given much to work with.

I don't like Kristen Stewart, but she was good in this. So was the rest of the cast, with the exception of the annoying T.J. Miller. The acting, the set design and the lore behind the creatures carry the movie, despite not building up the creepiness and the mythology. But it has to be said: this should have been so much better, with that much potential.