Vampires Suck

Here's what I liked. 1: Only 1h20m long. 2: Diedrich Bader. 3: Jenn Proske actually plays a really convincing Bella clone. In all truthfulness, this movie blew. It sucked big pointy rocks. It stunk up the place really badly. When you're doing a satire, with source material like Twilight, and your jokes aren't funny, your actors aren't right for your genre, and your pop culture references are stale, you fucked up. Blam this piece of fucking shit. I banish your DVD to the yard sales of tomorrow.

And the award for movie-that-sucked-more-than-twilight goes to VAMPIRES SUCK! How ironic ^_^

Twilight is a series prime for parody but all this dreadful film does is retread the events of those films with the occasional fart joke thrown in.

They sure do.

In short, Vampires Suck is a film that isn't worth watching, but is sometimes funny. Definitely not humorous enough to give you incentive to watch it, but it's not a terrible waste of time. However, if you are going to give it a look, do so as soon as you can, because the jokes and pop culture references will end up making less sense as time ticks on. In terms of movies made just to cash-in on another one's popularity, well, you could definitely do worse.

Jesus, this movie was unnecessary as hell. It's basically a 1:1 copy of Twilight with only seemingly random additions. Not funny...

The girl who supposed to be Kristen Stewart was terrible and over all this movie just sucked.

A "parody" that makes the subject matter look like a masterpiece.

Waste of time. Worst spoof ever. Waste of time.

I was so looking forward to a good laugh about Twilight. I was severely disappointed. This movie had maybe 2 genuinely funny moments. The rest was all sick humor meant to amuse people who are abusing drugs.

liked it more than the real thing. but you don't need a movie to make fun of twilight. it's hilarious by itselfe.

I applaud it for making fun of the Twilight series because I hate those movies, but it does so in an absolutely unfunny manner. Interestingly enough the jokes here seem to be directed at the same audience that it mocks, therefore rendering it completely useless to the rest of us.

Vampires are awesome, too bad twilight and this movie god damn awfully sucks

All I needed to see was 1) the awful trailer and 2) the names Seltzer and Friedberg to know that this is a piece of shit. Why are these two morons allowed to make movies? Why do people pay t o see them? And worst of all, why do people even find them funny? I completely blame their movies for the downfall of America. I hope they both die long, disturbing and excruciatingly painful deaths....and hopefully soon, before they crap out some more garbage to sully my movie screens.

Better than Twilight?

Clearly for the young teen market this won't stand the test of time. It has all been seen before and is pretty pointless. However I did smile a few times and my 13 year old enjoyed it.

32.000

Bad Movie

I felt I had to give it a 1, just slightly better than Meet the Spartan's 0, only because 1/8 of the movie wasn't taking one "joke" and doing it over and over.

It's sad that this isn't the worst movie I've ever seen.

O m f g ! 1 or 2 jokes, if it wasn't for those, it would have been a zero

Butaste, minless finte ko so mogoče še malo smešne prvih par minut. Nehal gledat vmes.

Holy Lord it hurts. The fact that a spoof on Twilight is worse than Twilight is sinful. The fact that this spoof isn't even funny and relies on stupid jokes to carry itself and its not funny comedians, is just as horrible.

http://gorgview.com/vampires-suck

Twilight is lame movie to parody of. The best parts were jokes out of it. As a spoof movie this is focused to youngsters who know source material and you do not have to bother much of a movie entertainment besides that.

I'm convinced... the world won't end with a bang, but with a really shitty "parody" film.

I saw this in theater what the heck. Twilight parody is bad surprise

Not really funny but it still got a chuckle or two out of me anyway. Kind of lame.

It's an improvement on Seltzer and Friedberg's past 4 pieces of crap. That doesn't mean much, but at least this one almost has a plot. Unfortunately, that plot is just the three Twilight movies, and since the few funny jokes are cancelled out by bad ones, you're pretty much just left rewatching the series. And who really wants to do that?

Ankara'da Buket'lerde izlemistik. Alacakaranlik serisini tiye alan amator bir film.

The most average movie I sat through from this duo. I haven't payed for any of their movies, and I won't. Vampires Suck has more laughs than some of their other efforts, although that isn't saying much.

Here is all the proof anybody could require that comedy has become the basest coin there is. Have seen none of the movies this is "parodying". Score based on partial but more than sufficient viewing.

Cheap.

32.000

Bella and her dad were both much funnier than the provided material, but other than that, pretty wretched.

eng; [vampires suck]; (schlechte parodie auf twilight);

Trailer has pretty much everything you need to know about this film.

The trailer is better.

1, only for the 1 funny joke in this waste of thought....screw it that is 1 out of an 1 and 30 minutes of utter humiliation

If you have seen the movies, it wasn't that bad. :)

Impossible to sit through. Definitely worse then it's source material. There is a difference between actual jokes and just spitting out relevant pop culture things.

Unlike their past films, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are actually attempting satire in this one. They respond to the vampire saga of Twilight and declare their allegiance to the hate camp by naming this movie "Vampires Suck". From what we learned, they're actually right on this one. How exactly did they prove their point? By making a poorly-structured film, where vampires are the main subject.

The acting is insanely better than in Twilight, the parodied bits hit the spot although the movie overall is still bad. If someone just wants to make fun of Twilight fans without having to see the movie (what has been seen cannot be unseenn) - I'd recommend it.

"A characteristic work of monumentally lazy spoof comedy by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck confirms Idiocracy's prediction of modern man's devolution from humdrum mediocrity to sub-caveman levels of intelligence." - Simon Abrams

Seltzer and Friedberg. Their past films were light on plot but heavy on the worst jokes imaginable. This time they've not bothered to write a plot instead stealing it from some teen angst vampire bollocks story and mercifully there are fewer jokes typical of these two bastards. It's a shame really, the lead actress is cute but now she's attached to these two twats her career is ruined. Worse? Her website calls it a "rare success story" that she got the part at all!

21/9/2010 I never saw Twilight, but was told it was a nice summary/parody of all episodes. Nothing intelligent, no plot, but still amusing (if you didn't see twilight)

Absolutely hilarious, acting impressions are spot on from the gaping mouth to creepy stares and the infamous Bella ear tuck. I just wish it was longer. Now although it isn’t lore friendly regarding the cullens it is a parody so mostly forgiven. The cast was practically perfect and identical to the original. Wow. Damn I love twilight

Vampires Suck would only entertain people who like parody movies but dude, it's got a lot of weak comedy.

It's a parody. It has its moment but it could have been done in just 30min. Or a simple youtube video for what it matters.

Vampires suck and the writers who thought a movie about vampires suck not suck definitely suck. BTW twilight itself suck and we don't need another movie to contrast how much it sucks. I like True Blood though.

Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team.

- absolute torture

Funny at some points. But not a good movie at all.

People are actually bidding on this movie on ebay. I might be mistaken but I'm pretty sure this should be illegal. How Seltzer and Friedberg still get the greenlight to make movies is a sign that 2012 is right around the corner, but still much better then any of the twilight movies.